Re (from
OP):
Leaving the church, and transitioning into a poly life, were two processes that both sprang from one composite process: the process that centered around me hitting bottom and for the first time ever questioning
*everything* (not just the "everything" I always used to flatter myself I was questioning). One of the effects of this composite process was that I finally shrugged off all of the programming and conditioning I'd been brought (and shored) up with. Everything I'd ever been taught about God, sex, love, marriage, family, friends, or any other teaching great or small, was now launched into space and where it would all land was completely unknown.
Chronologically, I left the church before I stumbled into a polyamorous situation. But those two processes could have happened in reverse order. I suppose their given order made things easier because there was no church standing in my way, saying, "NO YOU MAY NOT BE POLYAMOROUS," at the moment when I realized I wanted to live polyamorously. That part of the corridor of change had already been swept clean.
Maybe it's like this for anyone who starts out as a faithful Latter-day Saint, but the whole course of my life can be handily diagrammed using the church as a central reference point. All my obedience has been obedience to the church; all my rebellion has been rebellion against the church. It's a little oversimplified to say it that way but it's basically true. To this very day, the church is never far from my mind. I think of it often, the good and the bad. I observe where my perspectives lie in comparison to those of the church. I cut myself off from the church but I could never forget the church. I still pull out my Scriptures oh, about once a month (give or take).
The truth is, we never do literally question everything, eh?
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Consent is what I see as the ruling principle over my moral compass today. Complicated scenarios can be drawn up but the core/starter idea is that if two people both consent to their arrangement and/or relationship with each other, then they're doing nothing wrong. I often think it's that simple where others might think it's not that simple. [shrug] Admittedly, you can't please everyone.
Re (from
loveboston):
That brings this to mind:
And in the meantime, I do the best I can with whatever knowledge and reason I can muster.