Hello from Maine

dichotomiss

New member
Hi everyone. I'm 33, and was in a monogamous relationship with the man who is also my 7-year-old son's father for almost 12 years (we never married, but were engaged for most of the relationship.) That ended amicably early last year, and I began to date again casually last summer. At that time, I wasn't ready for a serious relationship, and most of my encounters were based on sex and kink... both things I did not have much or any of respectively in my monogamous LTR with my son's dad.

Last autumn, I met a wonderful man and we began seeing each other. He is polyamorous; I am open to polyamory, especially in theory... but this is my first time actually being in a romantic relationship with a polyamorous partner. There have been some ups and downs... but we communicate well and it's been far more ups lately as I learn more and temper my visceral emotional reactions with what I am learning.

During this time, I've often wondered if I can really be polyamorous myself. As a kinky woman with a high libido, I am personally very happy having sex with others, but wonder if my heart has the ability to be in a loving, romantic relationship with more than one person at a time... or even if I have the desire to love more than one person romantically at a time.

So that's I'm here to read other people's experiences, to continue to learn about polyamory, to meet likeminded people and friends.
 
Hey there! I'm 31 and in a somewhat similar/not similar situation, lol. I high an extremely high libido myself, and although I have yet to experience anything with anyone else (mostly due to my location) I find myself wondering what it would be like. I'm a few hours from you, and I don't know if Maine is anything like Eastern Canada, but the open population of polyamorous people is relatively small.
I don't know how deeply romantic or in a relationship I could get, and it's me that came out to my husband suggesting something more. The way I (only word I can think of) fantasized it, was that my husband, myself, and another lady would be very very good friends, and what happens in the bedroom... or living room... or computer room... lol... happens. I don't know if my heart has evolved to the point my mind has. It took a bit to shed the whole 'monogamy' thing, and I've been married 10 years. I think, and maybe this works for both of us, your heart will open up when its ready to! Like, if you meet another guy/gal and you get close, maybe a bond will happen. For me, I think I'd feel guilty (at the moment) that I feel like I'm betraying my husband. That's why I think a Triangle/Triad would work for us.

If ever you want to chat since we're in the same boat, let me know ^.^
 
Welcome, Dichotomiss! - I've only been here a couple of months myself - and new to poly as well, but have found everyone to be very welcoming and helpful - with lots of sound advice and good information.

Al
 
Thank you for the welcome, Al and Iridescent!

Iridescent: Yes, the pool of poly people is certainly much smaller than non-poly folks. It's somewhat rural where I am, and there are less prospects for actual polyamorous relationships here than there seem to be in southern Maine, where my boyfriend lives.

It hasn't been an issue for me yet — with this new relationship, my freelance work, job, and parenting my son, I don't have much time or desire to add another serious boyfriend into the mix.

I'm happy to chat! I hope you can find someone for a triad. I wouldn't say that I am part of a "triad" myself, but my best friend here in town (a woman) and her husband and I all play together sometimes. We didn't start out that way at all... it evolved into what it is. So hopefully something like that can happen with you and your husband :)
 
Greetings dichotomiss,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you are doing some soul-searching to decide where you personally stand with respect to polyamory. And maybe Polyamory.com can help you with that process. Just explore our various threads and boards, and let us know if you have any questions. We'll try to answer.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

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If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
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