Feelings and cultural imprint

Michaels, I think both your own pressures (lasting so many years) and your wife's pain is understandable.

This is a tough negotiation and there's no easy fix. It IS possible for your wife to work through her issues WHILE you're pursuing polyamory but the pain of doing so will be multiplied. If she is willing to go through it, you'd best take it very, very seriously. It is an enormous concession on her part. It will also mean you will have to make serious concessions on your end. So the ideal situation you might have formed in your head about pursuing poly? Forget it. You'll have to carve out space very carefully, acknowledge your wife at every step, and have the stamina and fortitude to support both you and her during this trying time. With no guarantees about it all working out.

Either way there will be pain. See at least if you can build something you can all look forward to in the future. Something that is good for everyone involved.

The last sentence is worth the pain.

And i think the process and the discussions will deepen our bonds and love for each other even more.
 
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