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Old 07-23-2011, 01:46 PM
jasminegld jasminegld is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 81

Originally Posted by Satisfiction View Post
I have recently admitted to my husband about the desire for polyamory. And ironically, also recently started attending church again after a 7 year absence.
Years ago, I dared to examine my interest in "nonmonogamy" before I knew the word "polyamory." I did this at the same time that I dared to examine my Christian beliefs deeply for the first time. I thought I was on two parallel tracks, and I too thought it was ironic, as well as bizarre, if not downright perverted.

I eventually learned that they were not two separate parallel tracks, but one integrated journey toward personal authenticity, a necessity of the spiritual search.

So it never surprises me a bit to hear people dealing with polyamory and church/religion/spiritual issues at the same time.

I would say I express my spiritual-self through Christianity, but not exclusively as there are elements of natural-world paganish tendencies in me to (as in I greet trees as equal beings and give them hugs).
My husband likes to call this Christo-Pagan. Have you ever visited a Unitarian Universalist congregation? They are generally Pagan-friendly, so a Christian can talk out loud about their Pagan interests and attend Pagan rituals as available.

This journey into polyamory is going to be an interesting one! And definitely something I will be keeping in the closet (unless directly asked) within the Christian community for now.
There are two UU groups I'd like to tell you about.

First is the group called UUs for Polyamory Awareness. Most UU ministers have heard of UUPA. I'm in leadership.

Second, is UU Christian Fellowship, for people with an interest in liberal Chrisitianty. I'm a member.

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Old 07-23-2011, 11:14 PM
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sage sage is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 633

Hi Satisfaction.

I think it should be said that the Unitarian Univarsalist church is the one that Jasmine is involved with and is very accepting of polymary. Most other Christian churches are not at all accepting. I did a quick google search and there does seem to be a UU church in Auckland.

When I lived in Wellington I went to St Andrews on the Terrace, which is supposedly presbytarian but they call themselves 'rainbow' and they are about as accepting of diversity as you can get. I suppose this shows that there are liberal churches around but you have to hunt them out.
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Old 01-10-2012, 09:04 PM
gmskiter gmskiter is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1

Yay!! A place for me! My husband and I are Christians and just recently became a poly cpl. I'm doing more of the research for now as he is extremely busy with his work schedule at present. As for me, I was raised in a Born Again Christian family. I've been struggling, as have others, with my faith vs. my desire for an additional relationship within my marriage.

I look forward to reading the already suggested book, "Divine Sex".

Thirsty for more information and hungry to meet others within this group!
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Old 01-10-2012, 10:45 PM
jasminegld jasminegld is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 81

Originally Posted by gmskiter View Post
I've been struggling, as have others, with my faith vs. my desire for an additional relationship within my marriage.
I'm glad you found this message board. I remember how I struggled when we first became poly. I spent months and months wrestling with my faith. Then I finally figured out that for me, becoming poly was part of BECOMING - of becoming more authentically the person God created me to be.

More books on the topic:

Sensuous Spirituality
Virginia Ramey Mollenkott (Author)

Dirt, Greed, and Sex: Sexual Ethics in the New Testament and Their Implications for Today
2007 edition
L. William Countryman (Author)

Sexual Liberation: The Scandal of Christendom
Raymond J. Lawrence Jr. (Author)

The Poisoning of Eros: Sexual Values in Conflict
Raymond J., Jr. Lawrence (Author)
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Old 01-27-2012, 02:48 AM
JohnnyDangerously JohnnyDangerously is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 31
Default Awesome!

OK, this thread is very timely, though lacking a bit in information. But it really hits home with us.

We are evangelical christians, very involved in our church. We've been married 18 years now, and I have struggled with what I now recognize as a poly-nature, trying to be "good and proper". We have had some very hard conversations about this, and she has even agreed to opening the marriage up. Having found a beautiful and wonderful woman who is also crazy about me, I would really love to bring our families together (though she is far away at present). The wife is really struggling with resolving this idea with her faith, though, and feels as if she's not being Christian by being open in this manner.

Anyone willing to share how they have resolved this issue, I would LOVE to hear from you!

Thanks, all!!
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Old 02-03-2012, 11:36 PM
jasminegld jasminegld is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 81

Originally Posted by JohnnyDangerously View Post
The wife is really struggling with resolving this idea with her faith, though, and feels as if she's not being Christian by being open in this manner.
At the heart of the issue is what it means to be a Christian, and this takes digging into Scripture, digging into one's soul, and peeling off the layers of expectations that church -- not faith -- has pasted on a person.

When Moses asked God whom he should say sent him to demand the release of the Israelites, God answered Moses to tell them "I Am" had sent him. I'm told a more accurate translation is "I Am Becoming."

Earlier in Genesis, we are told that God created humans in God's own image -- the image of I Am, and I Am Becoming. So we are called at our most fundamental level to be all of who we are, and to be open to change and growth. We are NOT called to be who someone else tells us to be, nor are we called to stagnate.

I had to wrestle with "thou shalt not's." But they turned out to be speed bumps rather than road blocks. All the "thou shalt not's" were written for a specific population within a specific context. We don't live in that context.

Biblical adultery was a property crime in an age when women belonged first to their fathers and then to their husbands. Check out King David. David never committed adultery against his many wives. He only committed adultery against Bathsheba's husband -- because Bathsheba was Uriah's property. And this understanding of women as property does not apply to me in 2012. So I have to listen to the intent of the law rather than the letter, and figure out what it means in today's context. For me, it means consent and care and responsible behavior.

What then does Jesus tell us? Love God and love your neighbor.
"40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."
Matthew 22: 35-40

This is the essence of Christianity. To love God requires us to be whole and true and real and complete, in God's image. To love our neighbor requires us to put aside judgment and condemnation, and choose care and responsible behavior and consent.

As I find myself drawn to polyamory, I also find Christianity, at its truest essence, to be completely compatible the concepts. The challenge for me, then, is to practice it in a manner that incorporates my Christian essence: responsibility, care, consent, and keeping myself whole and true throughout.

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Old 02-10-2012, 12:58 AM
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nancyfore nancyfore is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 163

Thanks for all the info...

I am having to defend myself when people find out that I am Christian and Poly. The answer that I really never questioned God's love and it feels right doesnt go over well with some..

This helps and I will read in depth and study so I can supply a more inteligent reply to the nay sayers...
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Old 02-14-2012, 03:17 AM
wonderfulworld wonderfulworld is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 6
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Originally Posted by artist103 View Post
I would recommend you check out this site to help you understand where I am coming from.
Thank you for posting that link! I am not a christian or religious. I believe in the Universe and LOA. I follow and compare what comes from the christian church and other religions with what I believe and what I hear or read. There is always a tiny little truth in everything somewhere. I have a christian friend and somehow I stumble over christian stuff from time to time since I know him. I suppose I like to be informed about ALL the options that a Christian Life could offer - if a person is open to it.
Life is about dancing in the rain with love and fun and connection to Self
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Old 06-16-2012, 01:06 PM
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loveboston loveboston is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: California
Posts: 89
Default I love Jesus

Being a Christian is a relationship with Jesus. I love Jesus. I love the fact that Jesus encourages me to love even when itís not convenient.

The fact that Jesus was a Jew is as significant as the fact that Iím an American.

My desire to love cannot be limited by the constitution of the United States, the bible or any other book or opinion.

The bible is the words of men explaining their opinion of god. Jesus alone is the Word of God.

The church is individuals who obey Jesus command to love Him as God and to love each other equally.
Religious organizations that take money are businesses. The church is people who give love freely to each other.

My wife and I both love Jesus as our God.

Neither of us has ever been monogamous.

This is a second marriage for both of us. We both hid the truth from our former spouses that we loved others.

My wife has a male friend who because he loves my wife is one of my best friends.

Weíve determined that there is nothing inconsistent with Christís teachings and an open marriage.

Having an open marriage means that we are extremely honest with each other about everything, especially love. To lie and deny that we love others would be extremely deceitful.
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Old 06-27-2012, 01:02 AM
butterflywaterfall butterflywaterfall is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Vermont
Posts: 22
Default Revelatory

I had a bit of a revelation while I was out walking this evening. This is something I really struggle with: my faith and my sexuality. I was not raised to be poly. Well, I wasn't raised to be anything, really. But I found my faith in Jesus when I was 15 and have been learning and growing and struggling and stumbling along the way. One of the things that was said to me once was that I was a 'David'. David was a man after God's own heart. So it says in the Bible. And David had multiple wives, concubines, etc. He loved the Lord God with all his heart and sang songs, wrote poetry to God. He committed adultery. He broke one of the Commandments. Yet even after that, he was considered a man after God's own heart.
Well. I am a singer, I sing and write poetry to God. I have danced before Him and felt like He was right there with me. I love Him; I have a relationship with Him. I have committed adultery before. Not proud of it. Now I choose to be honest with my feelings and desires even if it is hard. And I am in love with two men. Two amazing men who love me. I still don't know how that fits in with my personal faith and relationship with the Lord, but what I do know is He won't stop loving me even if I do something the 'church' thinks is wrong.
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