I really need to not be the only poly person in my life... I can only talk about so much with my guys, because they don't completely get it.
So I'm home from my visit to Guy, which ended much, much better from how it began. Hubby was thrilled to see me when I got back Friday night, and I'm feeling a lot more positive about our marriage right now because, between being away and talking with Guy, I think I've gained some clarity about who/how Hubby is and what *I* can change that will help the situation. I can't change Hubby, only myself, but some things will benefit both of us.
Meanwhile, Saturday night I went to a meet-and-greet party thrown by the chat group I met Hubby and Guy through. I wasn't originally planning to go to the party, since it was the night after I got home and I figured I would need time to recover from the trip, but when I went to lunch with S2 the week before the trip, he said he was going. He'd tried to go to a meet-and-greet with the same group, but because he hadn't met anyone other than me in person yet, he didn't recognize them and so couldn't find them in the club where that M&G was. So I told him that if he was going to Saturday's M&G, I would go as well so I could introduce him to people.
I showed up at the M&G before S2. I had offered him a ride, because he said something about maybe needing a designated driver, but then he decided to visit family before the party and so was coming from the opposite direction from me. So we were planning to meet there.
I hung out with Best Friend and his girlfriend... I was propositioned for an FMF threesome by a woman who was there as the date of a guy I've been friends with for about seven years (and have hooked up with a couple of times, but I don't think she knew that)... And thank goodness, just when the proposition process was reaching the point where I would have had to answer, S2 showed up.
The party was outside on the bar's deck and lawn; S2 and I went inside so he could buy a drink and buy me a soda. I told him if he wanted me to back off so he could talk with, and maybe hook up with, someone else, all he had to do was say so. His profile states clearly that he's looking for non-monogamy and doesn't want clingy, and so I didn't want to take for granted that he would want to spend the evening with me. I was *hoping*, mind you, just not counting on it.
But that's what ended up happening. We talked with other people, and one woman hit on him quite a bit (ironically, she's the one Guy dated briefly during the month and a half last year when I had to call a halt to things between him and me because we were getting too close). But he was pretty much focused on me. When it started getting dark, we went inside the bar because mosquitos... We played pool, which he won despite the aforementioned woman wandering over and knocking all of my balls into pockets. We kissed. And he asked if I wanted to go to his place.
It was pretty early, just past 9, but the party was fairly dead and other than Best Friend and Star, his girlfriend, everyone else I get along with had already left. So I followed S2 to his apartment.
That's where things got a bit interesting... We were talking about the non-monogamy thing, and he said it was mainly that he didn't want a woman who would be a "wet blanket" and be all needy and clingy. I told him he should probably steer clear of the woman who'd been hitting on him, in that case, because when she and Guy were hooking up she acted like it was an exclusive relationship when Guy had made it very clear to her that it was only FWB.
And then I said, "Yeah, Guy didn't want a relationship at all, but then I came along and that went out the window."
And S2 said, "Yeah, you have that effect on people."
Because I don't overthink things as it is. And I wasn't already developing feelings I "shouldn't" have for him.
The conversation went on to how much we enjoy each other's company. And to how when you click with someone, you click, and that's that. To how compatible we are as far as our sense of humor, and how we can talk for hours without running out of things to say. I pointed out that a lot of people in the chat group now know that he and I are seeing each other, or at least hooked up that night, and he was completely fine with that. In fact, he sounded proud about being with me. In between, we had sex, but we also had a lot of time of just lying on his bed together, holding each other. He caressed my cheek and it felt... I can't explain. Hubby's the only other person who's touched me so gently and I've felt so right about it.
Of course, this isn't "supposed to" happen. Hubby and I have always had the agreement that if we develop feelings stronger than friendship for someone, we're supposed to end all contact. That rule was, obviously, suspended for Guy, but Hubby knew Guy and was friendly with him for months before I admitted those feelings. Hubby and S2 have never met, and it's only been about a month since my first date with S2.
This is getting long. Going to start a second post.
So I'm home from my visit to Guy, which ended much, much better from how it began. Hubby was thrilled to see me when I got back Friday night, and I'm feeling a lot more positive about our marriage right now because, between being away and talking with Guy, I think I've gained some clarity about who/how Hubby is and what *I* can change that will help the situation. I can't change Hubby, only myself, but some things will benefit both of us.
Meanwhile, Saturday night I went to a meet-and-greet party thrown by the chat group I met Hubby and Guy through. I wasn't originally planning to go to the party, since it was the night after I got home and I figured I would need time to recover from the trip, but when I went to lunch with S2 the week before the trip, he said he was going. He'd tried to go to a meet-and-greet with the same group, but because he hadn't met anyone other than me in person yet, he didn't recognize them and so couldn't find them in the club where that M&G was. So I told him that if he was going to Saturday's M&G, I would go as well so I could introduce him to people.
I showed up at the M&G before S2. I had offered him a ride, because he said something about maybe needing a designated driver, but then he decided to visit family before the party and so was coming from the opposite direction from me. So we were planning to meet there.
I hung out with Best Friend and his girlfriend... I was propositioned for an FMF threesome by a woman who was there as the date of a guy I've been friends with for about seven years (and have hooked up with a couple of times, but I don't think she knew that)... And thank goodness, just when the proposition process was reaching the point where I would have had to answer, S2 showed up.
The party was outside on the bar's deck and lawn; S2 and I went inside so he could buy a drink and buy me a soda. I told him if he wanted me to back off so he could talk with, and maybe hook up with, someone else, all he had to do was say so. His profile states clearly that he's looking for non-monogamy and doesn't want clingy, and so I didn't want to take for granted that he would want to spend the evening with me. I was *hoping*, mind you, just not counting on it.
But that's what ended up happening. We talked with other people, and one woman hit on him quite a bit (ironically, she's the one Guy dated briefly during the month and a half last year when I had to call a halt to things between him and me because we were getting too close). But he was pretty much focused on me. When it started getting dark, we went inside the bar because mosquitos... We played pool, which he won despite the aforementioned woman wandering over and knocking all of my balls into pockets. We kissed. And he asked if I wanted to go to his place.
It was pretty early, just past 9, but the party was fairly dead and other than Best Friend and Star, his girlfriend, everyone else I get along with had already left. So I followed S2 to his apartment.
That's where things got a bit interesting... We were talking about the non-monogamy thing, and he said it was mainly that he didn't want a woman who would be a "wet blanket" and be all needy and clingy. I told him he should probably steer clear of the woman who'd been hitting on him, in that case, because when she and Guy were hooking up she acted like it was an exclusive relationship when Guy had made it very clear to her that it was only FWB.
And then I said, "Yeah, Guy didn't want a relationship at all, but then I came along and that went out the window."
And S2 said, "Yeah, you have that effect on people."
Because I don't overthink things as it is. And I wasn't already developing feelings I "shouldn't" have for him.
The conversation went on to how much we enjoy each other's company. And to how when you click with someone, you click, and that's that. To how compatible we are as far as our sense of humor, and how we can talk for hours without running out of things to say. I pointed out that a lot of people in the chat group now know that he and I are seeing each other, or at least hooked up that night, and he was completely fine with that. In fact, he sounded proud about being with me. In between, we had sex, but we also had a lot of time of just lying on his bed together, holding each other. He caressed my cheek and it felt... I can't explain. Hubby's the only other person who's touched me so gently and I've felt so right about it.
Of course, this isn't "supposed to" happen. Hubby and I have always had the agreement that if we develop feelings stronger than friendship for someone, we're supposed to end all contact. That rule was, obviously, suspended for Guy, but Hubby knew Guy and was friendly with him for months before I admitted those feelings. Hubby and S2 have never met, and it's only been about a month since my first date with S2.
This is getting long. Going to start a second post.