Blending religion and poly

lorie876

New member
Has anyone come out to their church and if so how were you all received after the reveal? I was raised Pentecostal and I am really unsure how the family will react to this. Most of them believe that polyamory is completely wrong and I have no idea how to deflect and deal with the questions that will ultimately arise from coming out. Any reading material on polyamory and religion?
 
The Bible condones patriarchal polygyny, but it forbids polyandry. Outside the Bible, you will find it difficult to argue for polyamory on religious terms. If your family were Unitarian Universalist I would say you had a chance.

I was a Mormon (Latter-day Saint) until 2002; I adopted a polyamorous philosophy in 2005. So, my former church doesn't know about my poly-ness, which doesn't bother me since I have no interest in rejoining. If I did want to rejoin, I'd have to break up with my poly companions. That's not gonna happen.

I'm mostly in the closet; hardly any of my family knows about my poly-ness. I wouldn't mind outing myself, but my (two) companions have asked me not to, and I am honoring their request. If I did out myself, some family members would probably disown me, but that doesn't bother me. I don't need their approval.
 
Narrow minded Christians are just going to condemn anything other than one man one woman marriage. So, same sex marriage and secular arrangements like having more than one lover are just never going to be acceptable. More liberal Christians, you might have a chance, if you just go with the God is Love concept.

There comes a time when you're going to have to go your own way, whether it's around this, or other things like parenting, clothing, music, food, gender identity or preference, travel, hobbies, or whatever. You might remain a Christian and explain poly to yourselves to your own comfort, but it may not work with your parents' kind of Christianity. You can't live your life to please your parents. I mean, you can. But who would want to?

It can be hard to "come out." And you will be condemned. Most parental units will come around after a year or two. But the really conservative ones just never will. So, you either stay closeted, and live in fear they will find out somehow, while you're lying and sneaking, or you come out and be proud and let the chips fall where they may. If you lose blood family, then they weren't worthy of you anyway. And then you go make a chosen family of people who get you, that you don't have to hide your true self from. And you find your bliss.
 
The only Christians I'm aware of who don't give polyfolk (much) guff are the Unitarian Universalist (specifically Minneapolis), who to my knowledge were the first mainstream congregations to ordain openly homosexual ministers, & have been supporting same-sex unions since like 1979.

You could check out the UUPA. Naturally, there's some backlash because it's impossible (IME :D) to form ANY progressive group without soon finding you've got snarls of "traditionalists" gumming up the works with paeans to the good ol' days. :rolleyes: (Some of the Comments waaay down at the bottom are interesting, but kind of a slog.)

Aside from UU, there's likely no churchly Xtianity that will welcome polyfolk in the foreseeable future.
 
That's because this shit happens gradually. We worked on black rights, women's rights, gay rights, now we are working on trans rights. Maybe poly comes next. (and after that, the right to marry your dog:rolleyes:)

Here's info about churches that welcome queers. A lot of polyfolks are queer, especially the women. Men are too, they just don't admit it yet.

Anyway

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT-affirming_Christian_denominations
 
Hmm. Well, Lorie, since Pentecostalism is a very extreme form of fundamentalist Protestantism, I would not think it wise at all for you to come out to your family and/or church. They might stone you for it.

How long have you been practicing polyamory and what is your situation? Is there a reason why you're considering coming out at this time?
 
I don't just announce my relationships to everyone, but I don't hide them either. If specifically ask about my relationship with my girlfriend I will answer honestly. I'm not out to make others happy or comfortable with who I am or how I live my life. I am Christian, bi, and poly. So far pretty much everyone is accepting. The only people we kow would not be accepting are my partners parents and family. I leave it to my partners to decide how to describe our relationship to their families.
 
As mentioned earlier, any Unitarian Universalists would most likely be ok with open poly folks - although they are not technically Christian.

Also, any of the New Thought/Metaphysical Christian Churches - such as Unity School of Christianity or Religious Science (not to be confused with Christian Science) - would almost certainly be welcoming to polyamorists as well.

For a more traditional Christian experience, many Episcopal Churches outside the Bible Belt would be welcoming also (Most Episcopal churches in the Deep South - with a few notable exceptions - often seem more Evangelical than Episcopal). There are also probably a number of United Methodist Churches outside the Bible Belt who would be welcoming - also the United Church of Christ (not to be confused with the fundamentalist Church of Christ prevalent in the Deep South).

And the Pagans will almost certainly welcome the poly folks!

Best to All,

Al
 
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