Question: Is there a difference in the terms "queer" and "gay/lesbian"?
Vanessa wrote in with this question. "I was wondering if there is a difference in the terms "queer" vs. gay/lesbian?"
Answer: The word queer to many is an insult that was said in a hurtful way to gays, lesbians and anyone who was different. Today, many people have reclaimed the word "queer" to be an all-encompassing term for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and genderqueer. While gaining popularity, some still find the word "queer" to be offensive. To be on the safe side, unless you know your audience and know that the word will not offend them, use gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or LGBT for short. For any formal writing or presentations, it is appropriate to spell out lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender in the first usage and shorten it to LGBT thereafter.
Quoted from:
http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/lesbianactivism/f/QueerGayLesbian.htm
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Personally, I often call myself "queer" in order to distinguish myself from "gays" who have no sexual or romantic attraction to women, and because most of my "romantic" experience and inclination has been same sex -- though I'm capable of falling wildly for some women. I could as well call myself "bi," but I like the inclusivity of the term "queer," while "bi-" seems to put a lot of folks off somehow or another. It's surprizing, for example, how many folks actually think bisexuality and biamory are myths, like unicorns! We're supposed not to exist by millions. As the theory goes, all supposedly bisexual/biamorous folks are really (consciously or otherwise) trying to maintain some "heterosexual privilege" or are trying to escape some of the social stigma associated with being "gay" or "homosexual". One basic premise most of these folks hold to is that one, by nature, must be either gay or straight, hetero- or homo-. Period.
Weird!
It's funny how some "gay" people don't think I count as being one of them -- a "gay," because I'm also attracted to women. Also, some think my attraction to one or the other gender/sex must be watered down because it is distributed in this way. But let me tell you, I ain't watered down one bit!