nycsinger2000
New member
If you've read my past posts you know that I've been struggling with opening my mind to polyamory. Long story short my ex and I broke up but were still very much in love, He discovered that he was poly and I didn't think I could consider it at the time.
We've started seeing each other again and I have been working very hard to overcome my issues with jealousy, insecurity. fear and traditional values. We are not officially back together because neither one of us wants to make a commitment until we're both sure we know what we want.
I've now gone to a party with him where we both made out with several people, had a threesome with him and another friend twice, and we've gotten more comfortable with sharing information about our other endeavors. However there is still a part of me that isn't really excited about dating anyone else. Maybe it's because I have always been monogamous minded and haven't quite figured out how to really want someone other than him. or maybe it's because I just haven't met someone I really connect with.
We had planned on going to another party together. It's a costume themed party and I'm part of a group costume he organized. He did warn me that I would not be his "Date for the party and that he wants the ability to be independent and meet other people and spend time with his friends. I knew this would be the next step in my growth so I agreed but we both figured we'd meet up several times through the night and probably go home together after.
I've rearranged my schedule for it, bought a costume,and took days off. About a week after, he informed me that he's been seeing someone new and invited him to come along as his date. He didn't think about it at the time because he's a very in the moment person, but now realizes he should have asked me if I'd be OK with this before asking him. I'm concerned that this may be too soon for me to take on this challenge, but I'd be letting him and a lot of other people down if I didn't go, not to mention, that I'd be missing out on an experience I enjoy and a lot of money.
I've met people he's been intimate with but never anyone he's met outside of his group of poly and open friends. I've also never met someone who has the potential to become more than just an intimate friend. This is all so new to me and I'm worried that this night will be very hard on me. I've learned to not give into jealousy or take it out on him, but let's face it, it's a reality. I'm not so worried about meeting his date. He did tell him about me, and told me that he wouldn't treat me any differently. If he kisses his date, He'll kiss me etc. However, I know he plans on going home with his date and not me. that will be the hardest thing for me to deal with. I don;t want to go home alone knowing he's with someone else. It's not about sex or jealousy....He even told me that nothing sexual would likely occur since the parties are very tiring and he likely won't t be in the mood after. I'm worried I'll feel left out, lonely or just sad that I wish I could be with him that night and I can't. I tried finding a date of my own but I really don't have enough time and none of my friends are available. So this will leave me alone, in a place where I don;t know a lot of people, Meeting his new lover and knowing they'll be going home together. I'm not sure what to prepare myself for. Any advice would help. Thank you.
We've started seeing each other again and I have been working very hard to overcome my issues with jealousy, insecurity. fear and traditional values. We are not officially back together because neither one of us wants to make a commitment until we're both sure we know what we want.
I've now gone to a party with him where we both made out with several people, had a threesome with him and another friend twice, and we've gotten more comfortable with sharing information about our other endeavors. However there is still a part of me that isn't really excited about dating anyone else. Maybe it's because I have always been monogamous minded and haven't quite figured out how to really want someone other than him. or maybe it's because I just haven't met someone I really connect with.
We had planned on going to another party together. It's a costume themed party and I'm part of a group costume he organized. He did warn me that I would not be his "Date for the party and that he wants the ability to be independent and meet other people and spend time with his friends. I knew this would be the next step in my growth so I agreed but we both figured we'd meet up several times through the night and probably go home together after.
I've rearranged my schedule for it, bought a costume,and took days off. About a week after, he informed me that he's been seeing someone new and invited him to come along as his date. He didn't think about it at the time because he's a very in the moment person, but now realizes he should have asked me if I'd be OK with this before asking him. I'm concerned that this may be too soon for me to take on this challenge, but I'd be letting him and a lot of other people down if I didn't go, not to mention, that I'd be missing out on an experience I enjoy and a lot of money.
I've met people he's been intimate with but never anyone he's met outside of his group of poly and open friends. I've also never met someone who has the potential to become more than just an intimate friend. This is all so new to me and I'm worried that this night will be very hard on me. I've learned to not give into jealousy or take it out on him, but let's face it, it's a reality. I'm not so worried about meeting his date. He did tell him about me, and told me that he wouldn't treat me any differently. If he kisses his date, He'll kiss me etc. However, I know he plans on going home with his date and not me. that will be the hardest thing for me to deal with. I don;t want to go home alone knowing he's with someone else. It's not about sex or jealousy....He even told me that nothing sexual would likely occur since the parties are very tiring and he likely won't t be in the mood after. I'm worried I'll feel left out, lonely or just sad that I wish I could be with him that night and I can't. I tried finding a date of my own but I really don't have enough time and none of my friends are available. So this will leave me alone, in a place where I don;t know a lot of people, Meeting his new lover and knowing they'll be going home together. I'm not sure what to prepare myself for. Any advice would help. Thank you.