C
Ceoli
Guest
You know, I hate to be harsh about this, but honestly, if you're feeling so threatened by the ideas and opinions of other people, then perhaps you should seek your community in places other than online forums.
I don't know why, but this forum seems to have grown a culture of defensiveness within it. When one person posts thoughts about what they consider a good and healthy way to be poly, other people start defending themselves against that because it's not the way they do poly so clearly that poster must not be respecting their poly and saying that their way is bad. All of a sudden, anybody who posts something that is in disagreement with others is somehow subverting other people and creating an "unwelcoming atmosphere". It seems that opinions becoming perceived as agendas when people start feeling some kind of subversion or threat from them.
Honestly, an online forum really ceases to work if people are continually asked to suppress their opinions or thoughts for the sake of preserving the "safety" of other people. We simply don't have enough context in the space of words on a web page to fully build spaces that are safe. I make no bones about the fact that I have opinions and I will share them freely. I will especially share opinions and thoughts that challenge inaccurate assumptions. There are a lot of people who describe things that are not my reality and that's fine. I'll only challenge it when those descriptions start making assumptions about my or other people's realities. And I'm happy to be just as challenged by others. And when I'm offended by something someone says on this board, I challenge the idea, not the person. And I appreciate having the space to do so. Inclusiveness isn't built by trying to set controls on how people communicate, it's built by allowing communication to be authentic.
But the thing is, if you don't want to deal with those kinds of challenges, that's fine. Disengage and find something that works better for you.
I don't know why, but this forum seems to have grown a culture of defensiveness within it. When one person posts thoughts about what they consider a good and healthy way to be poly, other people start defending themselves against that because it's not the way they do poly so clearly that poster must not be respecting their poly and saying that their way is bad. All of a sudden, anybody who posts something that is in disagreement with others is somehow subverting other people and creating an "unwelcoming atmosphere". It seems that opinions becoming perceived as agendas when people start feeling some kind of subversion or threat from them.
Honestly, an online forum really ceases to work if people are continually asked to suppress their opinions or thoughts for the sake of preserving the "safety" of other people. We simply don't have enough context in the space of words on a web page to fully build spaces that are safe. I make no bones about the fact that I have opinions and I will share them freely. I will especially share opinions and thoughts that challenge inaccurate assumptions. There are a lot of people who describe things that are not my reality and that's fine. I'll only challenge it when those descriptions start making assumptions about my or other people's realities. And I'm happy to be just as challenged by others. And when I'm offended by something someone says on this board, I challenge the idea, not the person. And I appreciate having the space to do so. Inclusiveness isn't built by trying to set controls on how people communicate, it's built by allowing communication to be authentic.
But the thing is, if you don't want to deal with those kinds of challenges, that's fine. Disengage and find something that works better for you.
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