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  #1  
Old 09-05-2015, 09:44 AM
poly6 poly6 is offline
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Default The use of pornography(evil?)

As I continue to explore and expand upon my own sexuality I've been looking at articles all relating to porn. The vast majority of which talk about how it's devastating too relationships, how it affects men and women, how it is as an industry (sexist, evil or what have you) and it leaves me feeling conflicted. Mostly because I have no real idea what to make of it. But you're all adults who have experienced relationships at some point, so I wonder what do all of you make of it?
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Old 09-05-2015, 11:35 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Porn is not inherently evil. People have been making sexualized images for as long as there have been, well, humans. (Venus of Willendorf, anyone?)

People have made an argument that the mass production and distribution of porn have made a qualitative difference in how we experience sexual imagery. There may be something to that.

I have problems with much of mainstream porn. It doesn't portray real sexuality or real pleasure. I think this is why amateur porn videos get so much attention because they seem like more real. And mainstream porn only shows a certain sliver of the population.

This isn't inherently bad - that's show biz in general! - but it has considerable consequences. For instance, too many people use porn as education instead of realizing it is basically a fantasy. While most men realize that women don't look like porn stars (and even porn stars don't look like that in real life), some have that expectation and it can really hinder them making connections with actual women. And they don't realize that making porn shapes how it looks. Porn emphasizes positions that allow for good camera access - not the ones that can be more pleasurable for many. And people have this entirely unrealistic view of an 'average' penis because of porn. The ridiculous 12 inch dicks one sees all the time in porn are at the extreme end of the bell curve and not common. A 5 or 6 inch dick looks tiny in comparison but that's average! I know this has messed with the heads of some men I know.

And, of course, porn has to be consensual by people who are able to fully consent. One person I was listening to on a podcast said that the only way to really know if the person in those images truly consented is to pay for porn at reputable websites. This really brought me up short as I get my porn from the internet and I don't pay - it's on tumblr and so on. So I'm reconsidering my ethics around this issue.

With those caveats, the bias against porn comes down to an sex-negative, shaming culture. With consent and understanding of what porn actually is, there is nothing morally wrong with it.
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Old 09-05-2015, 11:42 AM
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Porn is as "evil" as you make it in your life. I don't know one man who doesn't (to varying degrees) watch, given that porn is free and readily available now. Women aren't so drawn to it, but plenty of women partake as well. Porn is like drinking: for many it's just grown up fun, for most it's a manageable vice, for some it's a problem. Porn fits into a life in whatever way a person molds it.

Sexist? Hardly. Women who choose to go into porn are well compensated for their work (far more than the men) and make no mistake, the work is a choice. I would never dismiss the power of each woman in this day and age to ever say that her being in porn is anything but an ongoing choice. As far as how porn depicts women - again, there is so much out there and "porn" depicts everything from complete and total male domination to complete and total female domination of the sexual situation. Porn is perhaps a lot of things but "sexist" certainly is not one of them. Anyone who thinks so hasn't looked at the incredible range of topics on PornHub lately.

Porn is like anything else: if you're disturbed by it, don't get involved. Don't regulate the behavior of others and just ignore. Make it a non-issue in your life. The more you struggle with porn and especially with what other people are doing with porn, the bigger problem it will become to you. The less you fuss over it, the less of an issue it is. Certainly, Prohibition taught us that.
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Last edited by FallenAngelina; 09-05-2015 at 03:36 PM.
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Old 09-05-2015, 01:56 PM
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I don't have problems with porn as a moral issue, for the most part, as long as participants have not been coerced or forced into it. Personally, I find most porn boring after a while. But I don't like how it sets up unrealistic expectations in people. I dated a guy once who told me that porn gave him certain ideas about sex, like that people fucked sort of far away from each other, just connecting at the genitals, and when he had sex with women who wanted to fuck with their bodies close and touching, he was surprised and awkward, and felt a little fucked-up about it when he realized the porn actors were far away just to accommodate the camera. You never know what misconceptions people will have from watching porn. I keep hoping that a repairman with a huge cock will ring my doorbell.

You may find this site about porn's effects on the brain interesting: http://yourbrainonporn.com/. There, they draw a connection between internet pornography and erectile dysfunction.
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Last edited by nycindie; 09-05-2015 at 02:04 PM.
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Old 09-13-2015, 08:36 PM
Nmi Nmi is offline
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As long as it does not grow to be a problem, I really don't understand the demonizing of porn. There are a few good points though, about porn giving the wrong impression of sex and male/female body for the inexperienced and about it being addicting. And yes, it's mostly also boring

Then again, it's just what it is - entertainment and fuel for the fantasies. I don't watch porn that much myself, because I am very picky about my fantasies But when something does come up every once in a while, well why not?
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Old 09-14-2015, 08:56 PM
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I think that there is nothing wrong with porn in theory. However, I have heard it stridently argued that there is plenty wrong with it in practice ... that the vast majority of it is cruel, sexist, abusive, coercive, deceitful, corruptive, etc.

I used to be interested in some porn, but that is no longer the case, which makes me glad because I don't want to get caught in the middle of the debates about porn. Once in awhile I like nude art and nude photography, and some people think that's porn but I don't know.
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Old 09-14-2015, 09:47 PM
AutumnLeaves AutumnLeaves is offline
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I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with pornography. I view it myself, sometimes. I don't usually view free porn or find it through porn sites because I'm never sure where that porn comes from and I don't want to unwittingly support exploitation. I try to frequent sites that are woman-positive, which I usually find through Violet Blue's blog, since after many years as a reader I tend to trust her judgment.

I hope that helps! And if you haven't checked out Violet Blue's blog in your research on articles related to porn, I'd really encourage you to check it out. She writes on the topic frequently enough that she has an entirely sub-page dedicated to it.
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  #8  
Old 09-20-2015, 03:39 AM
poly6 poly6 is offline
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Admittedly there is a fear in my mind with the porn I watch and whether or not the women (and in some occasions men) are really being exploited or hurt genuinely in some way or if it's just fake. There's some I see where it's soo overacted or underplayed that I think it would be fake, but there's always a slight fear. I think that's why I usually stick to amateur porn.

I usually try to avoid anything that "feels" too realistic.
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Old 09-20-2015, 03:40 AM
poly6 poly6 is offline
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Is there anyway for one to be completely sure? Especially when comments underneath videos just feed into it? Sometimes I think it's part of the play, other times I think they're just insensitive assholes.
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Old 09-20-2015, 09:00 PM
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I don't know of any way to be completely sure. I would say interviewing the actors/actresses might help, but even if you could, maybe they'd be too scared to tell you the truth.
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