Western Washington woman

Voyager

New member
I'm a 47-year-old, bisexual woman living on beautiful Whidbey Island, Washington, looking for a new partner (or more, if more than one fall into my life). I've been actively poly for twenty years, made most of the mistakes and emerged with my ability to love and laugh remarkably unscathed. I'm whimsical, articulate, stubborn, creative, and silly as much of the time as I can get away with. But I take adulting seriously, and my relationships even more so. I am loyal, lavishly affectionate, caring, and committed to understanding and respecting each of my partners' needs and wishes, and doing my best to meet those needs and wishes, while trying equally hard to be clear and frank about my own.

I am blessed with an abundance of family. I live with a couple who are my closest partners, although our relationship is not romantic. I regard them as my brother and sister-in-law, but there's no blood relation either; we're chosen family. I've also got two kids, ages 13 and 11, who spend weekdays with me. I'm legally married to a man who doesn't live with us, partly for job reasons and partly because the emotional dynamics work better this way right now; but he is still an important part of my life and we intend to remain married.

My husband has also been poly for most of his adult life, and we met as part of a polycule of five who lived together for two years. He's used to my having other partners, and is comfortable with it. He asks that anyone I get serious about be prepared to meet him and let him get to know them as a person, just as he would want to know anyone I became close platonic friends with. We're NOT, however, the classic "couple looking for a third." His romantic relationships are his own business, and mine are mine. I am also not interested in dating any couple who requires that a potential partner be involved with them both... though I do usually like to get to know any existing serious partners to somebody who is becoming serious with me also. This is to make sure they're comfortable with me as a person, not just an idea; and because some of my best friends are metamours. :)

I'm bi, leaning heavily toward women but also capable of attraction to a large array of nonbinary or other genderqueer folk, and a smaller but still existent number of men. I'd really love to find a woman to date right now, because it's been a while and I miss holding a special lady in my arms... but if the chemistry is right with someone else, I won't turn it down. I'm a big nerd who loves SF and fantasy, roleplaying games, cats, history and historical fiction, folk music, musical theater, laughter, carnivals and fairs, travel, and (to my slight embarrassment) NFL football. I also pick up new obsessive interests on a moment's notice, so feel free to try and share some of yours. I catch them pretty easily. I'm a licensed massage practitioner, so my partners get free massages. :)

Looking for someone to date, laugh with, talk to about anything and everything, flirt with, and fall in love with if it happens. If it doesn't happen, friends are great too. I take my relationships (including my platonic friendships) seriously and make time for them, but it sometimes requires creativity, because of the demands of a small business; a busy family including a homeschooled kid; and a chronic illness which limits my physical energy. That's okay. The creativity, I've got and to spare, even if the energy I sometimes don't.

I'm not picky about location, so long as, if you're not local, you're comfortable with LDRs and willing to make time for each other. I am picky about a few other things. I'm not dating from a scarcity mentality, so I won't start with anyone whom I don't feel is a good fit -- it's nothing personal, you can be a great person, and just something doesn't click the way it has to. At a minimum, I need someone who's absolutely honest about their relationships and their feelings; I never want to have to be blindsided by something you didn't tell me, even if it was to spare my feelings. I'm allergic to double standards -- I try not to use them, I correct if they're pointed out to me, and I expect the same from my partners. I need someone who is willing to be gentle and patient with me... I've been through an abusive relationship, and so although I am able to trust completely, I take my time before I do it with someone new. Nonviolence and noncoercion should be a given, but are unfortunately often not, so I mention them. Imagination and joyfulness are high on my wish list, as are intellect, self-awareness, moral courage, and kindness. I have no one physical 'type' and am often attracted to people outside the western canonical beauty standard, though I have a weakness for soft skin and shining smiles.

(Did I mention that I'm verbose? Oh yeah. I'm verbose.)

Tell me who you are. Let's dream together. Let's laugh together.
 
Pilar range

Hey Voyager,

Glad to see another Western Washington person here. I've tried messaging you, no idea if they're going through as "sent" remains empty after 3 attempts. Not impressed -_-

That aside, my wife and I are soon to be in Sedro Woolley area and would be happy to have another friend with shared interests. We're both into Sci Fi/fantasy etc and are both poly & bi. We have already located another islander couple who are all of these things too, could be a nice gathering if everyone gets along :)

Anyway, check your messages or try messaging me and we'll figure this all out if you're interested.

-Stoat
 
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Hi Stoat,

To let you know, your PM's are probably getting through, but copies of them are not getting saved in your sent folder. To change that, click on "User CP" (near the upper left-hand corner of this window), scroll down to "Settings & Options" and click on "Edit Options," then scroll down through "Messaging & Notification" to the "Private Messaging" section. At the end of that section, you will see a checkable box labeled, "Save a copy of sent messages in my Sent Items folder by default." The checkable box will probably be unchecked, should be in fact, if it's already checked then you may need admin help. If it's not checked, go ahead and check it by clicking on it. This should solve the problem. Your past messages won't be saved, but your future messages will.

Hope that makes sense.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
Stoat, my husband and I are also islanders in search of a local group. Bellingham and Seattle are just a bit too far away. If you do eventually plan a meet up or get together, please let me know! We'd love to meet fellow polys closer to home. :)

(Voyager, I just responded to your comment on my thread. So happy to see other islanders posting here! Welcome to Whidbey!)
 
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