A2Poly
New member
My BFF/ metamour has a habit of saying things like "I'm going to be busy next weekend, you should come out and see [partner]. He can't come see you though, I need child care"
I'm pretty sure she means it in a 'hey, there's some time here, just so you know' kind of way, but it always strikes me as 'hey, come distract my husband so he doesn't mind so much that I'm busy with [work, hobby, FWB] and not spending time with him/the kids.'
She's generally a good metamour, and a great friend, and I don't want to see ulterior motives, but sometimes it feels like I'm the lollipop she's using to distract her husband while she gets to live the life she wants.
IDK, I feel like she should be telling him to invite me? Or? Something? Maybe it's that she is being specific about HER needing childcare (like he wouldn't take the kids into account when scheduling our time)?
Any ideas on why this is wiggling me out? Or on how to approach it with her?
I'm pretty sure she means it in a 'hey, there's some time here, just so you know' kind of way, but it always strikes me as 'hey, come distract my husband so he doesn't mind so much that I'm busy with [work, hobby, FWB] and not spending time with him/the kids.'
She's generally a good metamour, and a great friend, and I don't want to see ulterior motives, but sometimes it feels like I'm the lollipop she's using to distract her husband while she gets to live the life she wants.
IDK, I feel like she should be telling him to invite me? Or? Something? Maybe it's that she is being specific about HER needing childcare (like he wouldn't take the kids into account when scheduling our time)?
Any ideas on why this is wiggling me out? Or on how to approach it with her?