US Poly Laws or, Where are all the poly friendly places?

He sees the northwest as cold, dark and dreary. Also, hipster vampires live there, apparently. :D
 
He sees the northwest as cold, dark and dreary. Also, hipster vampires live there, apparently. :D

It was 80, sunny, and breezy today. :D It is dark in the fall/winter, though. Lots of overcast skies.

No comment on the hipster vampires. I've only met, like, one real hipster. They aren't so much drawn to the same kinds of places I am, thankfully. haha
 
The climate in the pacific northwest is changing a bit, becoming hotter and dryer in the summer. But otherwise, it's quite a nice place, environment-wise. I know a lot of poly people out here, but I haven't found a handle on what the actual laws are.
 
My Take on PNW Weather

I don't yet have a full year of living in the PNW under my belt, but so far this is what I've got to say.

I think the region gets a bad rep. "Oh, all it ever does is rain: cold, demoralizing rain, under leaden skies, for 360 days a year. During the Spring there's five days of happy Sun and rainbows, and then you plunge right back into the rainy season."

IMO, that's a gross exaggeration. The Sunny season here seems to me to be about five months long, and the rainy season is actually a patchwork of Sun and rain. Yes it rains a lot during that season, but not all day and all night without a break. The rain takes turns with the Sun sending its dramatic rays through the clouds, and usually the clouds aren't that thick so you don't get the gloom of a death shroud.

In Seattle/Olympia, the coldest it gets all year is seldom less than 40° (Fahrenheit). Above freezing = no snow. Spring and Autumn temps seem to be 50-70°; Summer temps seem to be 60-85° on average. Which illustrates another good point about PNW weather: it's not all the same old thing, day after day (nor even hour after hour).

If you want to experience a State with long, dreary seasons and rare glimpses of the Sun, try Michigan. It can easily rain/snow for two weeks straight there, 24/7, death shroud skies, and outside the two-week ordeals there's rarely a thinning of the clouds let alone a glimpse of the Sun. It does have a few good Autumn months and a few good Spring weeks where the weather is pleasant, relatively Sunny, and relatively low in humidity. In fact I have to say I've never seen such colorful leaf changes as I have in Michigan Autumns. And the cider mills in Autumn are to die for. But once the pleasant seasons expire, you're back in the dungeon again -- with heavy-duty temperatures bolstered by high humidity: pitiless heat in the Summer and piercing cold in the Winter, with snow in spades. Honestly, I find Washington State a cakewalk in comparison. I got so depressed from my years living in Michigan weather that I had to move to New Mexico and stay there for almost eight years, if that gives you any idea.

Can't help you with the hipster vampires though. I've been bitten several times. I think they sell a pesticide to help control the HV population.
 
I think the region gets a bad rep. "Oh, all it ever does is rain: cold, demoralizing rain, under leaden skies, for 360 days a year. During the Spring there's five days of happy Sun and rainbows, and then you plunge right back into the rainy season."
.

Ummm....us lifelong Seattle natives have spent a lot of time and energy perpetuating that myth to keep the glorious PNW to ourselves, so please stop undoing our efforts! :cool:
 
Ummm....us lifelong Seattle natives have spent a lot of time and energy perpetuating that myth to keep the glorious PNW to ourselves, so please stop undoing our efforts! :cool:

It was very weird when I was in CA and identified myself as from WA, and people kept saying, "It rains all the time there, doesn't it?"

Not in my part of it, no.

I think the question seemed even weirder to me because I was in the SF Bay Area at the time, and it rained a lot there. (Not unlike my experiences in Seattle, actually.)
 
Actually, I was deeply disappointed when I moved to the pacific northwest. (Oregon) I was anticipating rain, fog, mist, cool temperatures and verdant forest. Instead what I got was sun, dust, and brown, brown hills all summer -- which lasted well into October. Warm temperatures, sunny beaches, bright skies... what's with all that stuff! Man, and here I burn like a vampire!

Polywise, however, it seems pretty friendly, at least at a social level. Technically, bigamy counts as a class C felony. No jail time, but a reasonable fine. But I think it's illegal everywhere else, too. It's some attempt at preventing spousal abuse and tax issues, but I think it misses the mark in today's social environment. Don't know about "marriage like domestic cohabitation" yet. Still researching it.
 
can't help you with the hipster vampires though. I've been bitten several times. I think they sell a pesticide to help control the hv population.

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
 
;)

[SWAT] Damn! Another one of them bit me! Get out of here, stupid vampire.

Re (from RainyGrlJenny):
"Ummm ... us lifelong Seattle natives have spent a lot of time and energy perpetuating that myth to keep the glorious PNW to ourselves, so please stop undoing our efforts! :cool:"

LOL ... okay. Sorry, as a Washington newbie I was not yet initiated into the conspiracy. My humble apologies ... :eek:
 
LOL ... okay. Sorry, as a Washington newbie I was not yet initiated into the conspiracy. My humble apologies ... :eek:

lol Everyone from Portland is all about spreading the truth. Move south a little. ;)

I agree about the weather being drastically exaggerated. Yes, we get months of rainy weather, but as you said there is rain in there. We do get days on end of rain, but rarely a week and the rain is barely rain - it's drizzle. You can always tell someone new or visiting the area if they carry an umbrella. :D

I've never witnessed the brown hills Sigyn mentioned. I've always been incredibly impressed with how green it stays here, regardless of rain quantity. Then again, I haven't made it out of the Portland area/Willamette Valley region much, so I can't speak for the rest of Oregon!

We started getting days in the mid 70s in April this year. It cooled back down for a week or so here and there, but it's been mostly glorious. :p

-From the PNW-er who just got home from playing in the river on her way home from work.
 
Re:
"Everyone from Portland is all about spreading the truth. Move south a little."

Ohhh ... it's a liar liar pants on fire type of a thing, is it? Well I enjoy lying, it's a hobby of mine. :cool:

(You do believe me don't you)

Re: the brown hills of Oregon ... I think I've seen those, in the eastern part of the State. I don't think they're fugly, they're just big.

And all around the sleepy little town where my late wife was born, are massive pine-covered shoulders, crowned by some really awesome mountains. (Sigh)

But yeah, East and West are two very different worlds, whether speaking of Oregon or Washington.
 
The brown hills happen in Oregon any time there are no trees.

But I found the answer to everyone's questions, legal-wise. Here's the site.
http://usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/polygamy/

And here's the answer --


All 50 states have statutes against bigamy (multiple licensed marriages). In most states, bigamy is a felony.

In the following states, bigamy is a misdemeanor. However, once the penalty is paid, you are back at square one.

Alaska
Arkansas
Hawaii (petty misdemeanor-- 30 days in jail)
Iowa
Maine
Missouri
Montana
Nebraska
New Jersey
Ohio
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island (misdemeanor, $1000)
Tennessee
Texas

The following lists are ordered by which states have the most promising statutorily. The first list is the best, the last list is the worst.

The following states, have no statutes against fornication, adultery, or cohabitation, and they also do not recognize common-law marriages.

California
Hawaii
Nevada
Oregon
Washington

The following states have statutes that concern adultery, but none for fornication, cohabitation, or common-law marriage. In some of them adultery is grounds for divorce only. In others the offending spouse simply forfeits any rights to the innocent spouse's estate. In the rest of them, adultery is a crime that can only be prosecuted by the offended spouse. In a successful polygamous relationship, these need not be obstructive. If the relationship fails, however, the statutory adulterer will be charged.

Connecticut
Delaware
Indiana
Kentucky
Louisiana
Maine
Maryland (Adultery results in a $10 fine and is grounds for divorce)
Missouri
New Jersey
Ohio
South Dakota
Tennessee
Texas (Texas does recognize common-law marriages, but apparently only if they are registered with the county clerk)
Vermont

Both states make adultery and fornication misdemeanors, although in Illinois the conduct must be "open and notorious." For interest's sake, we have listed all of the states whose statutes are no worse than Georgia or Illinois. This only means that in these states you are as likely as not, to be able to find a lawyer who will talk to you.

Arizona
Georgia
Illinois
Michigan
Minnesota
New Hampshire (New Hampshire recognizes common-law marriages, but only for inheritance purposes after death)
New Mexico
New York
North Dakota

The following states have laws against cohabitation.

Alabama
Alaska
Arkansas
Florida
Massachusetts
Mississippi
Nebraska
North Carolina
South Carolina
Virginia
West Virginia
Wyoming

The following states recognize common-law marriages, or else make adultery a felony, and are not on the previous lists.

Colorado
Idaho
Iowa
Kansas
Montana
Oklahoma
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
Utah
Washington D.C.
Wisconsin
 
Those lists are incredibly helpfull! It also sounds like the first and second lists (in the section where there ranked from lightest to harshest laws) are the states that have the most poly friendly laws. Am I interpreting that correctly?
 
I saw that site, and I used it as a jumping off point - I want links to the specific law, not someone's interpretation of it. I mean, I'm thinking of moving cross country! :) it's a good start, for sure though. I was glad to see my interpretation of Maryland's laws (where I currently reside) mesh up with what I thought they were. :)

Thanks for posting!
 
Alienation of Affection laws

Another thing to consider, depending on your state and your marital status, is whether you can get dinged for alienation of affection - if you're sleeping with someone who then gets divorced, and the ex has it in for you, well...

(Yes, I live in one of them. It's a little scary to think about sometimes - not that I'd ever deliberately screw up someone else's relationship, but that wouldn't actually matter, given the way the statute is worded.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alienation_of_affections
 
Links to Legal Statutes

I'm the author of the Polyamory on Purpose blog that was linked to early in this thread. I'm glad some folks have found it useful, but the main reasons I stopped posting in the N's was that Jason Cherry's Non-Monogamous Discourse was doing a better job that I was of going through everything.

Jason doesn't have links to laws, but he does include a full reference list, include statute numbers which you should be able to look up. He started to 'reboot' his reviews, to make them more reader friendly with actually links, but never finished. His original posts are still up, most of them in the archives from 2011.

Here's a link to Jason's blog

http://non-monodiscourse.blogspot.com/

The USMarriageLaws site is a great resource and one I used in compiling my write ups.
 
Thank you! Though I am curious how the laws in the friendlier states work if your married and have a baby with another man? Or your married to one woman and get another pregnant. (I'm a big picture g'all sorry) I mean the basic legality a of our relationships are a fantastic jumping off point but what about the rest? What kinds of legal protections can we put in place in the event of hospitalization? And other possible yet eventually probable to crop up issues? (Sorry y'all I'm typing as I think and drink coffee!)
 
The short answer is that right now there is no one resource where you can find that information.

In general (and I emphasize that) the only issues that come with having a child outside of marriage are those related to adultery laws, and paternity. For paternity you can contact the health department and/or bureau of records in individual states to find out how paternity is established it can range from New Jersey, where the mother's husband is automatically considered the father unless a legally valid DNA test proves otherwise, to Mississippi, where whoever the mother says is the father, is the father.

By default after the child is born, both legal parents have full joint custody unless other arrangements are made. I personally recommend getting all agreements of that nature in writing. In some states it is possible to have three parents on a child's birth certificate. You'd need to talk with a lawyer to find out which states and what the requirements are.

For hospitalization you want a living will, possibly a medical power of attorney. Most hospitals have the specific forms needed for their state on hand, though filling them out ahead of time and filing copies w/ your doctor is always best. Do not fill ever fill out a general power of attorney form without talking to a lawyer and/or doing extensive research. Done wrong a general power of attorney will allow another person to override your decisions regarding your own life and finances. Medical power of attorney is much more specific and gives on limited rights regarding your care and treatment if you can't make decisions for yourself.

There are several folks in the poly community who are involved in legal stuff, but most of them are focused on the various laws that criminalize polyamory.

From personal experience, child protective services that the way polyamory will impact custody in the case of a divorce are two issues not enough polies consider. For CPS, it will depend on the state and the individual social worker. I don't know of any state that make polyamory (or polygamy) a reason to take kids away from their parents, but they can still give you trouble in other ways.

For divorce, if you were in a poly relationship together and poly spouses participated, they poly can't (in theory) be used against you in a custody case. If you want to enter a poly relationship after the divorce, your ex can use poly against you to gain custody. Whether or not your ex would succeed depends almost entirely on the judge.
 
Update on Bigamy laws

One thing I forgot earlier--Jason's writing on Utah bigamy laws is no longer accurate.
In the Brown vs Utah case brought by the family from Sister Wives the appeals court ruled that states could not outlaw multiple relationships. Basically, you still can't get married to more than one person, but anything else is legal.
Alan of Poly in the Media covered that case here:
http://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2013/12/sister-wives-family-wins-ruling-right.html

I believe the case is being appealed to the 10th Circuit Appeals Court, which (if it upholds the ruling) will set precedent for all states in the 10th circuit. The 10th Circuit Appeals Court is the same court that just recently ruled to in support of gay marriage.
 
What poetic justice: Utah leading the way ATM in the area of poly/marriage reform.
 
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