Is male sex drive a myth???

Sexual chemistry plays a huge role as well. At least in my experience.

Not sure I would know anymore :eek:. Ok, maybe not totally true, just don't get to test it out :p. I'm speaking from a long term mono marriage point of view. I'm sure your right.
 
I would say it could be that women are more likely to ask a psychic about something like sex drive issues, and men would generally ask someone else? Because other people (for instance sex columnists) have no shortage of men complaining about that (although every so often it's the other way around).

I don't know if men have a higher sex drive than women on average or not, but there definitely are men with a high sex drive paired with women with a lower one. I don't know exactly why they don't talk to you about it, but they do to other people, and studies show they exist, etc. I think it's possible your sample is simply biased for some reason we might not know specifically that leads women to be open about it with you but discourages men.
 
My husband and I are both 24. If I didn't initiate sex, it would never happen. Sexual chemistry and drive are different for everyone, no matter the age or gender IMO.
 
No need to apologize, I also don't put much stock in any source that is over popularized simply because it is interesting. I agree, peer review is very important to validate articles and information. That's why books such as the ever popular Sex at Dawn don't appeal to me. They get lots of lay people endorsement but actual peer reviews by people with credentials are few and far between..and often very critical.

This particular critique of sex at dawn doesn't hold. The book is based on Ryan's dissertation. Just because its popular doesn't mean it also isn't rigorous science. This book happens to be both.

Evolutionary psychologists are critical of the book because it pointedly reinterprets the theoretical basis of that body of work. I'm familiar with that primary research (not an expert) and understand their critique. But, this is actually how science advances...

Ryan's theory is a much better application of Occam's Razor on the available data. It is a more parsimonious explanation, which usually has better odds of being right. Only time (and more research) will tell.
 
Just because its popular doesn't mean it also isn't rigorous science. This book happens to be both.

.

I won't post links to critical reviews that challenge the interpretation of other peoples' work by these authors because people already think I have it in for this book LOL! Anyone who researches reviews of this book can find them. This is a book, not a scientific paper. The people who endorse it have as much validity as the people who are critical of it's interpretation.
 
I won't post links to critical reviews that challenge the interpretation of other peoples' work by these authors because people already think I have it in for this book LOL! Anyone who researches reviews of this book can find them. This is a book, not a scientific paper. The people who endorse it have as much validity as the people who are critical of it's interpretation.

Mono, even if you disagree with their conclusions, does not your own choice of lifestyle, even as an entirely monogamous individual, to a certain extent reinforce them? Seeing as you are happily participating in a MFM vee relationship, and all...
 
Mono, even if you disagree with their conclusions, does not your own choice of lifestyle, even as an entirely monogamous individual, to a certain extent reinforce them? Seeing as you are happily participating in a MFM vee relationship, and all...

I don't actually disagree with some of their conclusions (which I am familiar with). I disagree with the idea that the book does not take leisure with other people's research at times and has hand picked some information to make their intended points. This is easy to get away with because this is a book. I don't believe it has been submitted as a research paper to any scientific institution. Why...likely because it would not hold up to serious peer review by qualified scientists in the field. If some one knows of an independent peer review of the book by unaffiliated scientists from a reputable university or organization I would be glad to read that..I just haven't found that type of support. So, to me the book stands as a very well informed opinion with no more validity than the next well informed opinion.

My being with Redpepper has nothing to do with my choice of lifestyle, my friend. This is the environment and dynamic that the woman I love and trust more than anymore just happens to be in:) It works for me but if not for her as my bond to this I would be back in my old community (with a much better understanding of how people love). I don't identify as poly. I just happen to be a monogamous guy with a poly Life Love. I haven't changed internally, I love one person romantically. I can't imagine that ever changing.

I don't define poly or mono as a function of how we act externally: I see it as a function of how we are internally.
 
im a 27 yo male. what i think may be part of the probelm with MY sex drive:

1. the escelation of drinking caffinated sodas to energy drinks. 3 a day cant be good for my hormonse

2. much more young adult male's are into video games, having been raised infront of that all mighty nintendo. i dare say that i would be alot more enguaged in beating my wifes pussy into submission if it wernt for that damn call of duty.

3. being military, when i come home, fucking isnt the first thing on my mind. first its shower, then its couch, then its bed, THEN its fucking. but by then... its too late

4. with so much on social networking sights about "treat your woman rite" "im not a sex object" "you got to start warming her up earlie in the day for the action at night" SOME, the very fiew in fact (realized after reading this that i aws going to get my head bittn off because of this so i decided to rephrase it) guys that had that sexual object idea of their women in the beginning of their relationship "puppy love" realize they half to work for it and get lazy

there are some other little social things (outside of poly) that i can think of that would probably contribute to men being less interested in sex than the steriotype proclames. but id half to think more on them.

what do you think?
 
I won't post links to critical reviews that challenge the interpretation of other peoples' work by these authors because people already think I have it in for this book LOL! Anyone who researches reviews of this book can find them. This is a book, not a scientific paper. The people who endorse it have as much validity as the people who are critical of it's interpretation.

Please post them. Thanks.
 
Please post them. Thanks.

We're hijacking this thread my friend. I won't post them. It just gives the impression of a witch hunt or that I am bashing a book I don't like based on personal principles. I'll send you a pm with the links; I am a big fan of people doing thier own research but not giving the links will looks like they don't exist LOL! Double edged sword hunh :eek:
 
It isn't that you don't like Sex at Dawn (since you haven't read it), it's just that you don't want to read it based on reviews and/or other people's feedback.

I totally understand. I am the same way about Ethical Slut. I don't know exactly why, but I have a real aversion to reading that one, based on some negative feedback I'd seen about it. I just don't want to.

Back to male sex drive: people have shared frequency and habits, etc., but I would think the culture, religion, attitudes toward sex one grew up with also plays a huge part in sexual practice and habits -- but that's different from drive, isn't it?
 
Last edited:
Ah man you guys make my job so difficult. I was considering moving all the posts, but fuck it.... I've tagged this "sex at dawn" now so to keep it on the same search as this thread where we actually are on topic... maybe it would be a better idea to continue discussion there and get back to men's sex drive... woot.
 
We're hijacking this thread my friend. I won't post them. It just gives the impression of a witch hunt or that I am bashing a book I don't like based on personal principles. I'll send you a pm with the links; I am a big fan of people doing thier own research but not giving the links will looks like they don't exist LOL! Double edged sword hunh :eek:

Ah man you guys make my job so difficult. I was considering moving all the posts, but fuck it.... I've tagged this "sex at dawn" now so to keep it on the same search as this thread where we actually are on topic... maybe it would be a better idea to continue discussion there and get back to men's sex drive... woot.

I did do my research, but didn't find all those links. Added them here. Frankly, I was looking for expert critiques and there just isn't anyone who would be qualified to actually peer review the material if it were submitted to a relevant scientific journal. But, some of the incompleteness in quoting is not defensible.

In terms of sex drive, Testosterone does have an impact, especially for women. Since we've been debating the value of primary research here with respect to Sex at Dawn, I'll throw in a peer reviewed article on this very subject. Real science on this very topic :D
 
My sex drive isn't high, but I could certainly be happy with more than I get. There are many nights when I feel I haven't had enough and want to get at it all over again. But there are also nights when I just really don't feel like it and just fancy cuddling up and watching a film or something.

If my computer games or music are enough to distract me from an offer of sex, then I can't want it all that much at that moment. It's not something I'm going to die without anyways. I'm sure my partner feels more strongly about it too. She can get really horny and just want to drag me up to the bedroom, but most the time, she just wants to cuddle. Sometimes, not even that. We'll sit with me on the computer and her on the laptop and just be in our own worlds.

I'm 19. By what everyone has said to me for so long through my life, I should be at it 10 times a day or more. I just don't want it nearly that much though.
 
I'm a 56 year old female whose been "dating" off and on for the past 9 years. The men have ranged from ages 34 to 64. The 64 year old is the only one whose had an equal sex drive to mine. The rest had a lower sex drive than mine. When I was in a poly relationship (our guy was at the hinge of our V), our guy was often too tired to have sex. He was 56 years old. So much for any assumption about all the sex going on in poly relationships!! ;)
 
Allow me to bring things back to sex drive...

First off, I'll address a few things from the original post. These are suggestions and guesses, they may not all make sense in every situation, but each one is true at least some of the time.

I have NEVER nice heard a man complain about his wife or SO's lack of interest in sex.

I would guess that more men than women would prefer not to admit they need help in the bedroom. This is probably a contributing factor here.

NOT EVEN ONE TIME.

But obviously there has to be more going on than just that.

These women HAVE told their partners they need more.

...this stresses the guy out

They DO go out of their way to be available anytime their male partner wants.

She should try the opposite. Simple economics, supply and demand. If he has to compete for her time (within reason) he will value it more. Also, hanging around waiting to get banged can come off as needy.

They DO try every seduction technique in the book, study sexual arts, get the fancy lingerie, and finally in utter bewilderment turn to a psychic for adivce on the problem.

Have they taken care of his needs? This can be tricky because he may not even know what they are.

The excuses their male partners give vary from "let me finished this level of Halo" to "my back hurts" to "not tonight, the kids might hear us!".

I was married for a year when I was 22. Every night she would spend a couple hours playing computer games, while I sat with her and watched, trying to spend time with her, because I wanted sex. If I had just done the dishes and cleaned the bathroom more frequently, I probably could have been having sex. In the six-month-long email post-mortem that ensued about a year after the break-up, that's what we concluded had happened. I wasn't giving her what she needed and she was tired of trying to take care of my needs. It had nothing to do with biological sex drive, even though that's what she blamed it on at the time.

Can any guys or experienced ladies shed any light on this?

I've always felt that the frequency of sex in a relationship is generally a good indicator of how healthy the relationship is. It's certainly been true in the bulk of my relationships, though not all. But if you're positive that sex drive is the problem, then it's more biological than emotional.

There are a few things I would recommend, most of which are coming from the book "4-Hour Body" by Tim Ferriss, which I recommend to anyone who wants to lose weight, gain muscle, sleep better, run faster, basically anything to do with improving your body.

First off: Diet, sleep, exercise. Healthy lifestyle promotes healthy sex drive.

Second: Blood work. Certain vitamin or mineral deficiencies can cause a drop in sex drive. A couple tests and a supplement of magnesium or Vitamin E may be the answer.

Third: Increase luteinizing hormone (LH). Levels of this, rather than testosterone, are a better indicator of sex drive, and LH is an important hormone in testosterone production as well. Ferriss recommends the following protocol for long-term and sustained increase in sex drive:

Fermented cod liver oil + vitamin-rich butter fat -- 2 capsules upon waking and before bed
Vitamin D3 -- 3000-5000 IU upon waking and before bed (6000-10000 IU per day), until you reach blood levels of 55 ng/mL
Short ice baths and/or cold showers -- 10 minutes each, upon waking and right before bed (these also help regulate sleep)

Ferriss goes into depth in his book as to why this works, and I strongly recommend checking it out. If you just want to go into Chapters and skim the section, its on page 258, with details starting on 511.
 
Last edited:
I just read this thread and I'm wondering how some of you have time for anything else if you're managing to have sex upwards of 9 times in 24 hours! I always figured I was pretty average in having a sex drive that calls for sex 2-3 times a week! There are weeks when I'm more interested and weeks when I'm less interested. I probably initiate slightly more often than my husband but I don't think either of us are feeling particularity neglected in the sex department (well other than the times that he is deployed).

So is the male sex drive a myth...perhaps as much as the female sex drive is one!
 
I think a lot of this has to do with societal perception. Which is, men are supposed to be way more into sex than women. If a woman's sex drive isn't as active as her partner(s) would like, it's thought of as normal and something they just have to accept. Whereas, if a man's sex drive isn't as active as his partner(s) would like, well, men are supposed to be horny all the time, so something must be wrong!
 
Back
Top