Can't say that "sleeping together" bothers me in the slightest, I use it all the time. "I was sleeping with MrS for 6 months before I admitted that we were in a relationship." But maybe that's because I tend to conk out immediately after a good orgasm - so I DO end up "sleeping with" most people after I have sex with them. (Although I also will share a bed with someone that I am not having sex with and will have sex with someone I am not sharing a bed with .)
Early on in my relationship with Dude we all were at a party at MsJ's (she is one of my long-time sometimes FWBs). I hadn't had a chance to talk to her yet about my new relationship status when she saw Dude with his hand in my back pocket as we were standing together. She said (teasingly)- "Get your hand out of her pocket unless you are sleeping with her!" - *dawning realization occurs*. To me: "How many lovers do you HAVE, girl?!"
Dude is the king of corny sexual innuendo...usually involving his "Polish Sausage". I've learned to roll my eyes
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As others have said "making love" is, to me, a subset of "having sex" - sometimes sex is just "fucking".
I also use the term "play" - not in the the BDSM sense, but in the light-hearted "sexy fun times" NSA sense. For me this doesn't necessarily include penetrative sex. I "play with" my boytoy, MrClean, on occasion, but I don't have sex with him, even though we sometimes share a bed for sleeping,. (Kissing, cuddles, teasing, rubbing, "dry humping", etc. but no contact with genitals.) I also "play with" my FB (Lotus's husband, TT) - which will generally include cunnilingus for me but no direct penis contact on my part - after which I generally fall asleep
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So, for me, different terms have different connotations depending on the circumstances. Generally pretty easy to determine by the context and the people involved, and I am always glad to clarify if necessary.
JaneQ
PS. For the curious, my personal boundaries with each person that I have any sort of sexual contact with are MY OWN boundaries with that particular person. Which I have disclosed, up front, with each of them and of which my other partners are aware. The only "agreements" involved are disclosure (if my boundaries should change) and condoms for penetrative sex outside of our polycule.