Pet peeve: "sleeping together"

"Making love" annoys the hell out of me, personally, because sex and love are not the same thing. There's obviously overlap; I love Hubby and have sex with him, and I love S2 and have sex with him. But I've also had sex with men I didn't love--and one or two who I didn't even particularly like (*cough*ex-husband*cough*). And I've been in love with a guy who was completely celibate, so there was no sex of any kind involved.

If I'm in a more tolerant mood than I am today, I would say "making love" is a subset of sex: to me, it's between/among people who actually are in love with each other, and it's gentler and more caring or considerate than other types of sex. But as a euphemism for sex in general--hell to the no.
 
If I'm in a more tolerant mood than I am today, I would say "making love" is a subset of sex: to me, it's between/among people who actually are in love with each other, and it's gentler and more caring or considerate than other types of sex. But as a euphemism for sex in general--hell to the no.
*nods* Makes perfect sense to me, I can certainly agree to that. I guess it's because I personally see the area outside of that subset as, well, pointless. If it's not as a way to express love, why even bother with sex?

I suppose if I had any desire for sex itself, I'd think very differently about it. :D Like that guy you mentioned you were in love with, I too am celibate in the sense of no sex, despite being in a 'ship of well over six years. I think it's awesome that you too have firsthand experience that a complete equation of sex with love isn't true, in either direction; I guess I just don't see the term "making love" as implying it were. :)
 
To clarify, the guy I mentioned wasn't asexual... he had chosen celibacy for spiritual reasons. He was pansexual, just didn't act on it.

For me, sex without love is preferable, to be honest... Less pressure. If a guy I don't love judges me because of something I do, or if it's heinously awkward, or whatever, I don't give a flying fuck what he thinks, and I don't ever have to deal with him again. But if I love him and one of those things happens, it's very hard to deal with.
 
"Making love" always made my skin crawl, my whole life, as did "lover." And then something changed for me and I started liking them about six months ago. I can't figure out why. Maybe it comes with middle age, haha.
 
Buff the muffin? Hahahahaha, that's hilarious ...

Isn't there a country song entitled, "Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in bed."

Oh I get it; Aussie kiss ... "A kiss down under."

Re: down some baby batter ... ewwww!

Man that's a great letter, Ry. You should totally send it to him just to see what his reaction is. "Wow ... I didn't know she was this wild."

Re: making love ... I'm all for it, although it *feels* ambiguous. "A BJ is making love, isn't it?" Wiktionary mostly clears that up though.

While considering all the finer points of Techtelmechtel,
Kevin T.
 
Woo-hoo from the Sims. How could I forget that one? That one is pretty silly.

Buff the muffin was on a telly show. We could say that around our children, but Eis would repeat it. I can hear her telling people, "Daddy said he needs to buff the muffin."

My BIL referred to my baby as a hump trophy. Maybe if I had "downed some baby batter," I would not have another hump trophy. Eww indeed.

Making love does not always make me cringe. The way some people use it does. I prefer to use it when describing a loving relationship not a wham-bam thank you ma'am-put-a-candle-on-my-back-and-blow-it kind of moment. That is just me. Aside from that, sometimes I am in the mood to just get play a rousing round of hide the cannoli or to just get fraked. And giving a BJ could be a form of lovemaking especially if you love doing it.

I hate, hate, hate lover. Ugh. Perhaps it is the sexual connotation. I could call a dear friend "lover" in a playful manner, but some people would automatically assume a sexual relationship was going on. That might be why I hate it.
 
I rather like 'lover'. To me, it reads so much more daring and fun than 'partner', 'spouse', 'girlfriend', or 'boyfriend'. It does feel a bit silly to say out loud I have to admit. I tend to use it when I am in a relationship that is a more than an FWB but not super serious at that point. Lover seems like a good word to use then.

Making love I find to be sometimes swarmy but not offensive. I've only 'made love' a few times in my life so it feels very rare and precious to me. Using it all the time to describe all sex seems incorrect to me.

Word definition comparisons! Fun!
 
This topic will go down in history as one of the great ones. :)
 
This topic will go down in history as one of the great ones. :)

Well, I just wanted to complain about "sleeping together!"

I love downing baby batter. But y'all probably guessed that. It's an antidepressant! There are studies!
 
Seems to me lover is what a married lady "takes" when she is "stepping out." As a man takes a mistress.

But I have used it a bit with my partners. Especially when the sex is good.
 
I like the word "lover" and tend to emotionally associate it with a much more romantic kind of relationship than what it's usually used for on this here forum. [shrug] It's just my personal thing, not the Law of the Land.

As Kermit the Frog once said,
"Someday we'll find it,
The Rainbow Connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me."

Well, that's what he said!
 
I don't think Kermit was polyamorous, though. Miss Piggy would never have stood for it.

I don't like "lover" because it connotes sexual activity, to me. (Which is accurate, but it isn't a word I'd want to use, say, with Alt or Country, who are well aware of that connotation but don't actually want to know what their mother does in her spare time.) I'm also not fond of "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" because to me, those words smack of junior high/high school, and sound temporary.

That said, though, I refer to S2 as my boyfriend for the sake of convenience, because I can't come up with a word that works better for what we are to each other, that I wouldn't have to explain to everyone else.
 
I feel a little idiotic if I refer to a guy I am seeing as a boyfriend, because it does sound like junior high and I am in my 50s - plus it implies a degree of entanglement in my life that I just don't want in my relationships. I like to call the men I'm involved with lovers or lover-friends. I like the image I have in my mind of being an independent woman with several lovers.
 
Re (from KC43):
"I don't think Kermit was polyamorous, though. Miss Piggy would never have stood for it."

[head bowed in defeat] Could he have been a cuckold though?
 
I don't know... There was a definite Domme side to Piggy, but I don't think any other guy would have put up with her shit long enough to cuckold Kermit.
 
Poor Kermit ... He couldn't even make it as a cuckold. :cool:
 
I don't mind the term but I'm sometimes very literal, so saying "yeah, I slept with ___" means that we went to bed and snored, not meaning sex. same thing with "play".
sometimes it has brought up confusion. Very amusing confusion, tho :D
 
Now when it's not sex you have to say, "We literally just slept together, and didn't have sex." I can't imagine how to fix the context to avoid this inconvenience.
 
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