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  #191  
Old 01-25-2016, 10:30 PM
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'Unicorn' is a popular term in the poly discourse, a "legendary creature" she is called .... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legendary_creature (Definition below).

When I was newer to polyamory, I made the possibly common mistake of thinking there were more of us than there really are, and that gay and bi men were as likely to be poly as any other class of people. Then I discovered, to my amazement, that a gay or bi poly man is a very rare thing -- if he is also fully -amorous (able and willing to form meaningful, loving, lasting relationships...).

To my astonishment, I've found that while gay and bi men tend to be somewhat sexually non-monogamous, they likewise tend to be very intensely "emotionally monogamous." -- meaning not available for meaningful "romantic" relations with other men when partnered.

Moreso, to a vast extent, this reflects "gay" culture in places like the USA, moreso than it reflects honest, sincere tendencies among gay/queer men. In other words, gay and bi men in committed relationships (esp. perhaps with other men) tend to be hyper-conventional, traditionalist and conservative in their relationship styles / approaches / whatever. This is VERY often mainly because they fear they will be abandoned by their husband, partner, lover... if they "come out" to him as poly-inclined, poly-interested.... It is NOT usually because they actually PREFER "emotional monogamy" (see below definition) or the strange divide which segregates "just sex" partners from actual friendships and significant emotional connections.

Now I'm wondering what kind of imaginary creature the gay or bi poly guy should be named after.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

UNICORN: Colloquial; see hot bi babe. Usage: Almost always used of a hypothetical woman who is willing to date both members of an existing couple, agree not to have any relationships other than the ones with the couple, agree not to be sexually involved with one member of the couple unless the other member of the couple is also there, and/or agree to move in with the couple. So named because people willing to agree to such arrangements are vanishingly rare, whereas couples looking for a woman who will agree to these terms are incredibly common. -- https://www.morethantwo.com/polyglossary.html


Emotional Monogamy

Feel free to improve upon this definition if you find a better one somewhere. I can only spend so much time exploring the web for definitions.

"Emotional Monogamy

The idea someone can share their body with others but might not have (or is prohibited from having) an emotional relationship with them. Emotionally they are Monogamous (committed to one person), physically they practice Ethical Non-Monogamy." - from http://polyamoryparadigm.blogspot.co...finitions.html
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Last edited by River; 01-25-2016 at 10:50 PM.
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  #192  
Old 01-26-2016, 01:05 AM
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Centaur?
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  #193  
Old 01-26-2016, 03:12 AM
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On gay/bi men and polyamory vs non-monogamy, this appears to be changing in my area (among the young gay/bi men anyway.) I actually know of several gay, poly men in my conservative area. They all tend to be younger and many are in poly-fi arrangements, some living with multiple partners even. Also, they don't really get involved in the formal poly groups/meetups in the surrounding cities. But they are involved in the younger LGBT community. I've always thought of lesbians as the least likely to be poly....but there again, I know of a few in my community. Some in my age range even. Of course I realize this is all anecdotal but my area is extremely conservative. There is more of a swinger presence here. The poly community is really small and underground.
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Last edited by PinkPig; 01-26-2016 at 03:19 AM.
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  #194  
Old 01-26-2016, 08:30 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I've seen Pegasus for male unicorns. I'm not sure they're that rare though. I know a triad of 3 bi poly men, and I'm part of a triad with another two... But that's anecdotal evidence I guess.
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  #195  
Old 01-26-2016, 01:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
I've seen Pegasus for male unicorns. I'm not sure they're that rare though. I know a triad of 3 bi poly men, and I'm part of a triad with another two... But that's anecdotal evidence I guess.
Your comment reminded me of the first poly triad I met irl a couple years ago...two bi-men and a much younger straight woman. They'd been together several years.

As for terminology, I vote for centaur
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