I wrote about this in my introduction but again hello everyone!
So my amazing wife and I of almost a decade hit somewhat of a problem a couple of months back. I know she loves me and she will hands down say she loves me but does not know if she can be monogamous in our relationship forever. We met at 14 and boom been together ever since. After addressing her fear and her "mistakes" as she calls them (her attempt to fill that void) she came to me saying that she felt she needed to release me from this doomed life with her. Her fears as far as I can tell are she doesn't want me to feel strung along while she can do whatever or that her "problems" in her mind will hurt me too much and I will change.
So the initial discussion went not so great I was an ass. Not that I was downing her for feeling the way she was, but I was quick to say that maybe she should just seperate and do her own thing. This did not go well because she became more distant. So one night I started thumbing through the internet (nothing bad ever happens doing that) and came upon a post about polyamory and how we can make it what we want.
So now she is still apprehensive and unsure but knows I'm here because I love her. She initially was defensive thinking I was doing this just to rationalize me finding a women but that quickly changed. She just has so many fears and can't get by them. She has a man she has been talking to and went to see. I know she has feelings for him but he's not even ready for more so it's a good slow start. I just don't know where else to go to help get rid of her fears. I got some good books to look at from the moderator but any other advice.
Even if this guy didn't work out this is the first time I think she can maybe see an option that doesn't make her different.
So my amazing wife and I of almost a decade hit somewhat of a problem a couple of months back. I know she loves me and she will hands down say she loves me but does not know if she can be monogamous in our relationship forever. We met at 14 and boom been together ever since. After addressing her fear and her "mistakes" as she calls them (her attempt to fill that void) she came to me saying that she felt she needed to release me from this doomed life with her. Her fears as far as I can tell are she doesn't want me to feel strung along while she can do whatever or that her "problems" in her mind will hurt me too much and I will change.
So the initial discussion went not so great I was an ass. Not that I was downing her for feeling the way she was, but I was quick to say that maybe she should just seperate and do her own thing. This did not go well because she became more distant. So one night I started thumbing through the internet (nothing bad ever happens doing that) and came upon a post about polyamory and how we can make it what we want.
So now she is still apprehensive and unsure but knows I'm here because I love her. She initially was defensive thinking I was doing this just to rationalize me finding a women but that quickly changed. She just has so many fears and can't get by them. She has a man she has been talking to and went to see. I know she has feelings for him but he's not even ready for more so it's a good slow start. I just don't know where else to go to help get rid of her fears. I got some good books to look at from the moderator but any other advice.
Even if this guy didn't work out this is the first time I think she can maybe see an option that doesn't make her different.