Inyourendo
New member
They reminded me of House and I miss their snarky sense of humor. I see they were banned although honestly I can't for the life of me see why.
"It is entirely possible to be clear and direct without being blunt or cruel."
"If the way in which you phrase things makes it much less likely for the person to get your meaning, then sadly you've wasted your time."
Opal you know bg .....she was neon the first time around. I think during her second life as boring guy she toned it down a bit . As much as she and I argued she was funny and very smart
Yes dingedheart I agree. Especially the "funny and very smart" part.
And opalescent, I agree with you too.
Particularly:
And,
As for BoringGuy, a little birdie told me that "he" is doing fine, and was probably better off distancing herself from Polyamory.com anyway. There's even a new forum she's involved in, though it's stuck on the ground right now (in terms of participation).
Sometimes I find ruthless banter to be entertaining; I guess it just comes down to whether all the participants undertand that's all it is and are consenting to it. Now when I think someone's getting serious about really driving a blade through someone else's ribs, then I'm not so keen on it. I guess some stabbings are accidental but they're still messed up.
I do think it's important to hear dissenting opinions and consider them carefully even if they're delivered in a heavy-handed way. Sometimes an enemy can be right about something even if they are (or seem to be) my enemy. I try to consider changing my mind (once I've pulled myself together at least) when I've been presented with good and valid reason to do so.
I'm aware of the pros and cons of my communication style, but communicating any other way makes me unhappy because I often feel that I'm not able to say what I really feel.
This is going to sound evil, but I actually prefer when people realise that I was more than a little bit right when it's too late for them to do anything about it.
On the other hand, I often come across people who do respond positively to my communication style and they see the benefit of my approach to whatever it is. I actually enjoy helping people and I do seem to help those people at a time when they can improve their situation. Those few people are worth any negative situations I have with those who have decided to get defensive.
However-it is unlikely other posters would be able to "see" why" unless they were involved in the situation causing it, because anytime we have posts that break the guidelines for the board, we delete them. Therefore; the posts you are able to "see" after we've banned someone, are the posts that did NOT break the guidelines.
Hey dh! How are you? Yeah? I'm learning all kinds of things from this thread. You know, I also thought neon lost her shit near the end of her time as neon. Again edging toward the cruel and dismissive.
Sometimes I find ruthless banter to be entertaining; I guess it just comes down to whether all the participants undertand that's all it is and are consenting to it.
"Having a tendency for being 'blunt' is no excuse for being cruel."
Oh that makes sense. I didn't realize that mods deleted posts of contributing members, thought that was something reserved for spam