Hi everyone,
This is my first ever post. I'm a bit scared to post because of all the "Read the FAQ and Master Threads first!" Gonna do it anyway, partly because I need to vent and partly because a response to your own post will never be exactly as the Master one.
I'm also completely new to polyamory. I've never had a poly relationship, but I've been reading a book about it, stuff online and talking to friends. As I've never actually had this kind of experience, I feel I can't be 100% sure I'm into it, but everything else says so.
I absolutely subscribe to the idea of love not having limits and that multiple, simultaneous relationships can be healthy and beautiful. I want to feel unlimited in my experience of love. I want the other (or others) to also feel that way. I'm interested in it and excited about it.
Now, for my first issue (for lack of a less dramatic word!), it'll be about how to talk about it with someone you're only just starting to date, being in my position.
My last three relationships ended the same way. I didn't seriously want to end them and had real feelings for the other person. But I felt a great unbalance in that the other person wanted to "get serious". It was becoming a monogamous, long-term relationship. In that situation I felt bad. In the last two of the three, I honestly told them that I didn't want to end what I had with them, but I also felt it couldn't go on in that way. I mentioned the option of an open relationship and told them how I felt about it. Needless to say, they didn't reciprocate.
Now I'm in the very very very first steps of something new. It's a person I've met a couple of times through a common friend. This common friend told me she liked me and he may have told her I liked her too. So we've been out once for a coffee and a walk. That's it.
Not much has happened. But because of how my last relationships have ended (sometimes with hurt and misunderstanding) I'm extremely conscious of not making that mistake again.
So when and how do I talk about it?
Is it too soon when we're barely even dating yet?
I'm not even sure I'm into open or polyamorous relationships - what do I tell her?
I look forward to reading your input!
Love,
M.
This is my first ever post. I'm a bit scared to post because of all the "Read the FAQ and Master Threads first!" Gonna do it anyway, partly because I need to vent and partly because a response to your own post will never be exactly as the Master one.
I'm also completely new to polyamory. I've never had a poly relationship, but I've been reading a book about it, stuff online and talking to friends. As I've never actually had this kind of experience, I feel I can't be 100% sure I'm into it, but everything else says so.
I absolutely subscribe to the idea of love not having limits and that multiple, simultaneous relationships can be healthy and beautiful. I want to feel unlimited in my experience of love. I want the other (or others) to also feel that way. I'm interested in it and excited about it.
Now, for my first issue (for lack of a less dramatic word!), it'll be about how to talk about it with someone you're only just starting to date, being in my position.
My last three relationships ended the same way. I didn't seriously want to end them and had real feelings for the other person. But I felt a great unbalance in that the other person wanted to "get serious". It was becoming a monogamous, long-term relationship. In that situation I felt bad. In the last two of the three, I honestly told them that I didn't want to end what I had with them, but I also felt it couldn't go on in that way. I mentioned the option of an open relationship and told them how I felt about it. Needless to say, they didn't reciprocate.
Now I'm in the very very very first steps of something new. It's a person I've met a couple of times through a common friend. This common friend told me she liked me and he may have told her I liked her too. So we've been out once for a coffee and a walk. That's it.
Not much has happened. But because of how my last relationships have ended (sometimes with hurt and misunderstanding) I'm extremely conscious of not making that mistake again.
So when and how do I talk about it?
Is it too soon when we're barely even dating yet?
I'm not even sure I'm into open or polyamorous relationships - what do I tell her?
I look forward to reading your input!
Love,
M.