Journeyofawakening
Member
Hi, I'm new here. I really didn't know whether to put this in this part of the forum or in introductions so please excuse my ignorance!
As a brief introduction...I'm a mostly-straight female (bi-curious) in the UK and I've always been in mono relationships (well only 2 relationships!!) I'm 30 and have been married to my husband for 7 years. We are also Christians and have two young children.
I met a guy on the Internet via a mutual interest and started a friendship, we get on so well as we are so similar. We were just friends, I didn't intend on anything else because I am married. But eventually we realised we care about each other on more than a friendship basis. Well, we absolutely adore and love each other basically. We met for the first time recently (he lives abroad) and just before he came to visit I was on Facebook and stumbled across an article on Polyamory. I thought it looked interesting so I read it (without intent, just pure interest). When I met my friend it was like finding a soulmate.
However, my feelings for my husband haven't changed. I love and adore my husband also. This brought my mind back to the article I read so I've been researching all of this. Now my 'friend' knows I am married and that I have no intention of breaking up my family for him. It makes him very sad because he loves me too. I explained about poly to him and I was shocked with how ok he was with it...
I also looked back to my past long term relationship...I cheated on him twice. I'm not proud of that. But they were guys I had very strong feelings for. Knowing about poly know has just made me feel like I'm not a terrible person for loving more than one person at a time. Just wish I knew back then.
My question is...how on earth do I even bring up this subject with my husband?? I don't want to do anything crazy like say "oh by the way, I'm in love with someone else but still love you, you're ok with sharing me right??". We're both already rethinking our belief systems (me more so than him) so it's a lot right now. Any thoughts on how to bring my views and heart to light without freaking him out?? I'm already finding it hard to get my head around because of how society has made mono the absolute norm.
Thanks in advance for any replies
As a brief introduction...I'm a mostly-straight female (bi-curious) in the UK and I've always been in mono relationships (well only 2 relationships!!) I'm 30 and have been married to my husband for 7 years. We are also Christians and have two young children.
I met a guy on the Internet via a mutual interest and started a friendship, we get on so well as we are so similar. We were just friends, I didn't intend on anything else because I am married. But eventually we realised we care about each other on more than a friendship basis. Well, we absolutely adore and love each other basically. We met for the first time recently (he lives abroad) and just before he came to visit I was on Facebook and stumbled across an article on Polyamory. I thought it looked interesting so I read it (without intent, just pure interest). When I met my friend it was like finding a soulmate.
However, my feelings for my husband haven't changed. I love and adore my husband also. This brought my mind back to the article I read so I've been researching all of this. Now my 'friend' knows I am married and that I have no intention of breaking up my family for him. It makes him very sad because he loves me too. I explained about poly to him and I was shocked with how ok he was with it...
I also looked back to my past long term relationship...I cheated on him twice. I'm not proud of that. But they were guys I had very strong feelings for. Knowing about poly know has just made me feel like I'm not a terrible person for loving more than one person at a time. Just wish I knew back then.
My question is...how on earth do I even bring up this subject with my husband?? I don't want to do anything crazy like say "oh by the way, I'm in love with someone else but still love you, you're ok with sharing me right??". We're both already rethinking our belief systems (me more so than him) so it's a lot right now. Any thoughts on how to bring my views and heart to light without freaking him out?? I'm already finding it hard to get my head around because of how society has made mono the absolute norm.
Thanks in advance for any replies