A bit about me first. I am 33, female, single (meaning in this case not married) and exploring poly. I am in my 2nd poly relationship and in both instances have dated men who are married. I fully realize that my experience is extremely limited and so I have a question for those who are more experienced.
If your married or long term partner starts dating someone who is unmarried and not in a significant long term relationship, do you feel more threatened or uncomfortable about your partners involvement with that person?
I ask that because in each of my relationships (again, I understand I have limited experience) the wives were fully open to poly and in fact these couple both had been poly (together or with other people) for 4-6 years, but after about a month of me dating their husbands they were "not comfortable with us dating." Now admittedly in relationship 1 the couple had been together for less than a year and in relationship 2 this is really his first relationship outside of their marriage.
In relationship 1 the wife told me flat out she was afraid that I would get to marry him and have a legal tie to him before she could (she was already legally married, but considered my boyfriend her husband). In relationship 2 my boyfriends wife said that she was afraid he was trying to replace her with me (they have been married 13 years). I fully realize this could just be a case of insecurities on their parts, but I just wondered that since I am not legally married and in fact not seeing anyone else (not for lack of trying, just haven't found anyone else I'm interested in at this time) somehow makes me more threatening.
Sorry, for the long explanation, just trying to answer certain questions before they're asked! Appreciate any insight.
If your married or long term partner starts dating someone who is unmarried and not in a significant long term relationship, do you feel more threatened or uncomfortable about your partners involvement with that person?
I ask that because in each of my relationships (again, I understand I have limited experience) the wives were fully open to poly and in fact these couple both had been poly (together or with other people) for 4-6 years, but after about a month of me dating their husbands they were "not comfortable with us dating." Now admittedly in relationship 1 the couple had been together for less than a year and in relationship 2 this is really his first relationship outside of their marriage.
In relationship 1 the wife told me flat out she was afraid that I would get to marry him and have a legal tie to him before she could (she was already legally married, but considered my boyfriend her husband). In relationship 2 my boyfriends wife said that she was afraid he was trying to replace her with me (they have been married 13 years). I fully realize this could just be a case of insecurities on their parts, but I just wondered that since I am not legally married and in fact not seeing anyone else (not for lack of trying, just haven't found anyone else I'm interested in at this time) somehow makes me more threatening.
Sorry, for the long explanation, just trying to answer certain questions before they're asked! Appreciate any insight.