Lonely Poly

PinkieB

New member
Hi All,

I'm a medium-time polyamorist living in Japan. My primary partner is back in the states and I am building a relationship with a new man here.

I think polyamory is the shizzit! but it gets lonely a lot with all the explaining you have to do to people who don't understand it, and all the askance looks from people who think I'm weaving a fancy story to justify being a slut or hiding my true feelings.

So I thought I'd go find myself a community of other poly peeps to chat with.

Yoroshiku!

Pink
 
Greetings Pink,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Re: the captchas ... will probably go away soon, but I don't know that for sure nor could I say exactly how soon. You might want to PM a moderator about it, as they'd have more knowledge than I. Sucks that we have to use captchas on newbs but we do get bombarded with a lot of spammers so safeguards are necessary.

It's tough (being poly and) living in a mono-centric world. I can't even come out of the closet with my polyamory; just my poly forum peeps know, along with the good folks in the Albuquerque poly group. You definitely need people you can talk to (about poly) without them making you feel funny or bad about it. We will support you here!

Keep on reading and posting. I'm glad you could join us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Hi Kevin,

Nice to e-meet you!

I actually just came out to my family last month about being poly and "sometimes gay." I had to do it through e-mail since I live on the other side of the world from almost everyone I know. It was kind of a let down, actually. I cared the most about my mom's reaction and she actually ignored me. When I confronted her about it she said, "yeah, I heard about your boyfriends", and that was it! The rest of the family said they kind of knew and were totally ok with it. So that was cool, but it was my mom that I cared the most about.

Anyway: Yay for lots of sex!
 
If you click the "keep me logged in" button it will solve the captcha issue. I don't know if there is another way.
 
Sounds like your mom doesn't want to commit to an opinion one way or another, or she's against the poly but doesn't want to rock the boat by admitting it.

What brings you to Tokyo, if I may ask?
 
My Mom most certainly doesn't want to commit. It tears me up. I want my family to be a part of my life, but they just ignore everything that they don't like or don't want to deal with. It makes me feel like less of a person, like I'm not ok the way I am and I hate it. If we could have a blow-out fight at least I could blow off the steam, but no...


As for Tokyo? I'm in love with Japan! I've been trying to come here for 10 years and I finally found a job. This country is the weirdest place on earth, I'm sure of it, but it makes me happy.
 
Any plans to climb Mt. Fuji? :) It's a cool mountain.

Sorry your mom is blocking you from getting any acceptance or closure on this issue. We all long for our parents to accept us for who we are, but sometimes for some reason our parents just can't do it. Maybe in a year or so your mom's attitude will improve? We can only hope.
 
haha. no chance it will improve in a year. this has been an ongoing problem with us. she's stuck. i have no mother, so to speak, just this woman who thinks i owe her some emotional something or other.

and as for Mt Fuji, been there, done that. I may climb it again this summer, but it's a real bore, actually. much better for photos than for climbing.
 
Just a big long slope I take it?

Re: your mom ... not to be rude, but it sounds like she has some kind of emotional hang-up? Is there something specific she wants from you or ...?
 
I recently moved to Tokyo as well and live in Minato-ku. I would love to meet up and maybe we can try to form a social group like what I was able to find in the US. If you are still using this forum please pm me and we can try to connect. It's a big world and its better to explore it with similar minded people.
 
Hey Pinkie

Welcome to the forums!
I sure do feel you regarding a mothers approval. I recently came out on Facebook and while my mother already knew (she was the first I officially told) she didn't comment publicly with her support. Any conversation I have where I mention potential partners and such is just met with a subject change or unacknowledgement. It sure can be frustrating.
 
Hi Pinkie, welcome!
The coming out part of this conversation is interesting to me. My career is very conservative and as a result I need to be secretive. No one in my real life aside from my lover and my husband know.
 
Back
Top