New girl here, and I am not sure this is the place for me

Middlegirl

New member
Hello everyone, I wanted to introduce myself to everyone. I also wanted to find out if I am in the right place. (A friend recommended this site)

I am a lesbian in the middle of a poly relationship. I am not poly and when the woman I am now living with suggested such an arrangement I told her she was crazy. The was 6 or 7 months ago (I thought she as crazy but I was already sort of falling in love with her) so she started inviting me to like family events, and sometimes just dinners. After a lot of long talks (I should have asked more questions.. Always ask more questions) I agreed to give it a try.

That was 4 months ago. What has happened in between then and now has been the most amazing relationships, not just with her but her and her family. It's also been quite the learning experience. At times it has been so hard I almost could not stand it. However I am more and more in love with her everyday..

Well I Guess now I find out it I belong on this site..
 
Greetings Middlegirl,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Well gee, from what I can tell you should fit right in here. Sounds to me like your poly arrangement is going great so far. Not perfect, but great. Things are usually a rollercoaster in the beginning, you have to give it awhile (like, a few years?) to iron out all the wrinkles.

Hope you enjoy your stay here, and don't hesitate to ask us any questions.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
thank you for the kind hello

like I said, so far this has been the most amazing, hardest, most fulfilling, silliest, greatest, relationship I have been in...

but lets be honest here, I'm 23 nothing in my life has been like this... :)
 
You'll get there, just take it one day at a time.
 
all good advice

I will keep that in mind
 
Welcome!

I am glad you two are deeply in love. Don't worry too much about everything else, the lifestyle can be very rewarding.
 
Thank you for the kind words

(I'm inbetween soccer games) I wanted to say sometimes like right now I am so sure in this relationship... Other times I worry, mostly I worry about what other people think, I know it's silly but I do..
 
Coming out to the world about your poly life can have consequences, so some polys don't come out. For instance, what if you might lose your job, or kids, if your poly-ness becomes public knowledge? on top of the grief tradition-loyal friends and family might give you.

I'm "in the closet" myself, though that might not forever be true. Luckily we have places to go like Polyamory.com where we can find acceptance!
 
thats whats going to make tonight interesting

we won our second game in much better fashion.

R told me that a few of their "closer friends" (that means they know about our relationship) are going to be here tonight, I know when they know by like "the look" (its sort of like I know, now you know I know kind of look.. not sure if that makes sense..) It used to be that their "closer friends" called me Jilly, but then regular friends and acquaintances started doing that. I don't mind I have been called worse things (and enjoyed it)

The interesting part is, over labor day weekend at their lake house (this is not going to be like a g story just a heads up) One of R's lady friends asked if she could kiss me. R asked me if I would like to make out with one of her friends. I was like oaky, who? Then she made a game out if it. She took me into a bedroom and blindfolded me. We made out for a long time with R in the room but she never took it past that. She left the bedroom and R and I were together. The thing is she wont tell who it was, and none of her friends is talking. The mystery is sort of a turn on. The last time we were all together I was trying to figure it out by perfume but I cant. I wonder if I will get to find out tonight.

I share that while saying R asked me and I said it was oaky. The blindfold added an anonymity to it that even while she was blindfolding me made it such a turn on for me that I really enjoyed it. I told her after that it was such a major turn on I really didn't want her to tell me. It arouses me on a few levels. First the fact that she asked me if it was oaky if her friend kissed me (made out with me) Second the fact that her and this friend are close enough to feel comfortable to do that. Third we did it in a bedroom, not like in front of everyone, now I think I would have been oaky with doing it right in front of everyone. Well maybe not then but I think I could handle it now. Forth its a turn on knowing someone was like interested enough in me to want to do that. Fifth I would think she told her husband all about it so when they see me they are like whispering about it, embarrassment is a pretty big turn on for me, when its done right.

Later that night I asked R about it, like how watching this made her feel. She said at first she was really excited that her friend had taken an interest in me, she thought it would open up other possibilities. Possibilities I think I would want to try. I have been in a few 3 somes but I feel like I am better one on one. Maybe with like some direction, I really don't know. She also said that watching it happen she felt more than a twinge of jealousy (funny that's how I feel on nights when I know she is "sleeping" with her husband. I mean like part of me is happy for her that they are connecting, but another part is like really jealous, then another part just like wants to please her more the next time I see her.. so it sort of like drives me.. (does anyone else feel that? you must, I cant be the only one..) But hearing her say she felt jealousy told me that she was just as in love with me as I am with her, and that really turns me on...

Well I have to get my witch costume on and get ready for subdivision Halloween party, its going to be a fun and interesting evening, and R already told me to change the sheets on my bed because when its over she will spend the night with me. Tomorrow is date night so its going to be 2 nights in a row.

bye for now.. sorry if this post is in the wrong place, I was commenting on a comment and it sort of got away from me...
 
Glad you guys are having a good time together.
 
I like that you said that

Everything sometimes seems so serious.. Sometimes serious is important. Most of the time serious is just stressful..
 
I'd get serious less often, but then I might get myself into serious trouble. ;)
 
But hearing her say she felt jealousy told me that she was just as in love with me as I am with her, and that really turns me on...
Jealousy isn't a reliable indicator for love. It can be triggered by fear or other negative emotions.
 
nice thanks...

I am glad you brought that to my attention..
 
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