River
Active member
As one who has lived his whole life in the USA, I've been surrounded all my life by certain pervasive and popular attitudes about relationships, love, intimacy, friendship.... In lots of respects, I seem to be actively -- and often consciously and deliberately -- deconstructing or dismantling my social conditioning about all of it. The whole shebang.
Americans, for example, are weird about touch. I recently learned that there are sociological studies showing that young British men who identify as hetorexual quite commonly cuddle, kiss, and (literally) sleep together. The expression of tender feelings and warm touch between this class of people in Britain is nearly inconceivable to the same age group in the United States. I wonder if some "straight" (hetero) guys who learn fo this feel any of the envy and regret I felt upon making this discovery? Or is it just (or mainly) the gay and bi guys (I'm bi) who have such feelings?
Anyway, all if this is digression. There may be nothing but digression in this thread from me -- as the topic is as wide as the world.
In very recent years in my life, I've been incorporating cuddling into some of my non-"romantic," non-sexual friendships. I don't have near as many cuddle-friendly (though non-sexual) friends as I'd like -- just a tiny few, and none of them are women (at present, unfortunately)....
But my inquiry isn't just about touch. It's also about eye-gazing -- holding the other in one's gaze a long while without looking away. And it's about sharing everything (stories, the truth about ourselves...), or most everything, as we tend to do with our closest loved ones. And forming deep bonds of love, however explored and expressed -- except for sexual touch, per se.
The inquiry is about what distinguishes very close friends from lovers, husbands, wives..., beyond sexual expression (apart from obvious issues like child rearing...)....
Inquiring minds want to know.
Tell me your thoughts and feelings on this!
____________________
Cuddling, etc., among young British men.:
http://www.vox.com/2014/5/3/5675092/study-straight-men-cuddle-with-other-men-a-lot
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/01/straight-men-cuddle-guys-study_n_5241953.html
http://www.queerty.com/93-percent-o...ay-they-love-cuddling-with-other-men-20150204
Americans, for example, are weird about touch. I recently learned that there are sociological studies showing that young British men who identify as hetorexual quite commonly cuddle, kiss, and (literally) sleep together. The expression of tender feelings and warm touch between this class of people in Britain is nearly inconceivable to the same age group in the United States. I wonder if some "straight" (hetero) guys who learn fo this feel any of the envy and regret I felt upon making this discovery? Or is it just (or mainly) the gay and bi guys (I'm bi) who have such feelings?
Anyway, all if this is digression. There may be nothing but digression in this thread from me -- as the topic is as wide as the world.
In very recent years in my life, I've been incorporating cuddling into some of my non-"romantic," non-sexual friendships. I don't have near as many cuddle-friendly (though non-sexual) friends as I'd like -- just a tiny few, and none of them are women (at present, unfortunately)....
But my inquiry isn't just about touch. It's also about eye-gazing -- holding the other in one's gaze a long while without looking away. And it's about sharing everything (stories, the truth about ourselves...), or most everything, as we tend to do with our closest loved ones. And forming deep bonds of love, however explored and expressed -- except for sexual touch, per se.
The inquiry is about what distinguishes very close friends from lovers, husbands, wives..., beyond sexual expression (apart from obvious issues like child rearing...)....
Inquiring minds want to know.
Tell me your thoughts and feelings on this!
____________________
Cuddling, etc., among young British men.:
http://www.vox.com/2014/5/3/5675092/study-straight-men-cuddle-with-other-men-a-lot
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/01/straight-men-cuddle-guys-study_n_5241953.html
http://www.queerty.com/93-percent-o...ay-they-love-cuddling-with-other-men-20150204
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