2 male 1 woman triad questions

But if you are just seeking play partners why condemn the whole scene for lack of intimacy? That would be like me looking for one night stands and then complaining they don't lead to marriage.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for experimenting and getting to know one's self. My question wasn't meant to be judgmental. I was just seeking clarification because it seemed like "okay I tried this, now I'm going to try something else".

Exactly. Maybe she tried "only play partners" with honest intent... and only after giving that a go for a while finally realized that that wasn't what she wanted. She might not have known what she wanted to start with... just knew that not having whatever it was was "leaving a hole in her soul" (for lack of a better way to phrase it).

The way you are saying it comes off as if you are saying "if you wanted poly, you should have just gone poly"... maybe she didn't know that that's what she wanted. That's all I'm saying.
 
Exactly. Maybe she tried "only play partners" with honest intent... and only after giving that a go for a while finally realized that that wasn't what she wanted. She might not have known what she wanted to start with... just knew that not having whatever it was was "leaving a hole in her soul" (for lack of a better way to phrase it).

The way you are saying it comes off as if you are saying "if you wanted poly, you should have just gone poly"... maybe she didn't know that that's what she wanted. That's all I'm saying.

I have no idea how it came off like that to you.
 
Are you poly or just seeking thrills?
The way you are saying it comes off as if you are saying "if you wanted poly, you should have just gone poly"
I have no idea how it came off like that to you.
You offered up a false dichotomy, & painted one of the two choices as of questionable morality (being less than polyamory).

It's a commonly employed example of failed logic being used as a manipulative tactic. It neatly ignores the whole range of choices between two viewpoints, & as well the possibility that both may be simultaneously true, or false. In propoganda & politics, it's often used to besmirch someone's character without the need for actual facts or even simple logic.
 
You offered up a false dichotomy, & painted one of the two choices as of questionable morality (being less than polyamory).

It's a commonly employed example of failed logic being used as a manipulative tactic. It neatly ignores the whole range of choices between two viewpoints, & as well the possibility that both may be simultaneously true, or false. In propoganda & politics, it's often used to besmirch someone's character without the need for actual facts or even simple logic.

Brilliant, you made my poly quote wall with this - although I do have to point out that you misspelled "propaganda"...
 
You offered up a false dichotomy, & painted one of the two choices as of questionable morality (being less than polyamory).

It's a commonly employed example of failed logic being used as a manipulative tactic. It neatly ignores the whole range of choices between two viewpoints, & as well the possibility that both may be simultaneously true, or false. In propoganda & politics, it's often used to besmirch someone's character without the need for actual facts or even simple logic.

Where the hell is the 'Like!' button when you need one?
 
As mentioned, I have two primary partners, and we all live together. I feel as if we are a very stable V, and I love my life! I didn't go out seeking this arrangement, I met my husband DarkKnight first and then dated a lot of "frogs" before I met PunkRockAwesomesauce. I've been with DarkKnight for 12 years and with PunkRock for almost 4 years. We bought our house together this past January but we've lived together for about 3 years.

Right now I am dating another poly guy as well, and I am hoping that relationship will be long term, relatively drama free and healthy. I am not interested in having him cohabitate with my V, and he already owns his own house so that wouldn't be practical anyway. We're exploring kinky sex with a DD/lg dynamic.

I've used OKCupid and I would recommend it. I don't enjoy sifting through all of the responses, but there are decent dudes to be found. I am not sure you'll find a set of guys together looking for one woman though. I would definitely say it would be easier to find a poly guy and just let him know you are wanting a kitchen-table style with cohabitation being a possibility in the future.
 
You offered up a false dichotomy, & painted one of the two choices as of questionable morality (being less than polyamory).

It's a commonly employed example of failed logic being used as a manipulative tactic. It neatly ignores the whole range of choices between two viewpoints, & as well the possibility that both may be simultaneously true, or false. In propoganda & politics, it's often used to besmirch someone's character without the need for actual facts or even simple logic.

Not sure how I missed this drivel. I didn't "offer up" anything. I asked a question based on a perceived (on my part) pattern. There certainly was no morality judgement in play, especially as I wouldn't call experimenting immoral.
 
Fwiw

I am very new to the 'polyamory' lifestyle I have NO idea what's right or wrong.

However I KNOW that the time you spend worrying about and trying to control, will not matter in the end.
I find myself swimmers in Da-Nile river! How and what did I do to deserve so much love?
It takes a special person to realize people change-relationships change-nothing is for sure and nothing lasts forever! THIS IS DIFFICULT to digest.
EAT it slowly, feel the nourishment your mind, body & soul gets from each relationship and let it flow through your 'being'. It is a lesson, an adaptation. It is change which is difficult. Just try to live in the NOW! Enjoy NOW, NOW, NOW & NOW!
The universe will give you what you want when you need it. Just be patient and enjoy the now!
I don't mean to sound like a southern baptist preacher, but the same words I have typed I am still learning myself.
 
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