2 male 1 woman triad questions

Roxxanne9836

New member
Good Afternoon,

I have been in lots of different kinds of relationships and have found it hard to find the right type of man. Since I was young I knew that to be fully happy Id like to explore life with 2 men. Does anyone have experience with this type of relationship and where I might be able to start?
 
Good Afternoon,

I have been in lots of different kinds of relationships and have found it hard to find the right type of man. Since I was young I knew that to be fully happy Id like to explore life with 2 men. Does anyone have experience with this type of relationship and where I might be able to start?

I recommend strongly against setting a requirement for a relationship configuration for people to fit in to. Relationship configurations have a much better chance of flourishing if they form naturally based on the personalities and 'styles' of the people in them.
 
Welcome!

Welcome to our Forum!
There's an introductions thread..fyi
Have you tried being honest and open in some dating sites?
How about here in this thread, http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=13?
Kudos for knowing, kinda, what you're looking for.... But yeah... usually what life brings you is much better then what you're looking for... Usually, usually
 
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But yeah... usually what life brings you is much better then what your looking for... Usually, usually
I hear that!! Currently I am in a relationship with two men (one long distance) but that wasn't what I was looking for.... so not sure I have much help to offer, Roxxanne!
 
Hi Roxxanne9836,

If you haven't tried OKCupid yet, that might be a place to start. And I can provide other links, if you're interested let me know. I hope you'll have good luck in finding the men that you seek!

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
What we seek is most often found when we least expect it or have stopped looking for it.

I concur with the ideas of "look without expectation" and "take what you find, as you find it". Those usually work out better than being uber-specific and only looking for specific things... and... you might just end up with what you wanted, completely by accident.
 
Reading here you will find that the MFM-Vee seems to be one of the more stable poly-configurations (I am in one, as are several of our long-term posters). We have had a number of discussion on these forums as to why that might be - Are Males better "arms" or Females better "hinges"? Thread about this topic

That being said, I always assumed, as a bisexual poly female, that I would end up in a FFM-Vee/Triad. Didn't happen. I have had F-FWB that were involved or not with my boy(s) but my live-in partners are both male.
 
The best way to find two guys is to find one at a time. Go on OK Cupid or somewhere and write a profile saying you are polyamorous. You will get lots of messages from men. Take them one at a time; don't push the V idea, but let them know you are not monogamous.

It takes time to find even one person who is compatible and a long term runner. You may find you need to kiss a lot of frogs to find someone you really like or love and lust for and find entertaining and easy to talk to, share hobbies and interests and life goals, etc., etc.

Personally I have a long term live in gf. I am bi, so is she, we are both poly. She has had a bf for about 4 years. Their relationship is becoming very stable. He has no desire to live with her (or anyone), so he has his own place 5 miles away. My gf splits her time between him and me. Our house is her main residence, she only visits his place.

I have had several long term relationships in the 9 years I have been poly and dating. The relationships have lasted 7 months to 2 1/2 years. I have enjoyed them all but none have been as stable as the relationship with my gf.

There are a handful of women on this board in stable LTRs with 2 guys. But many poly relationships do not last forever and ever, til death do you part. I hope you find at least one guy who is cool with you being poly and seeking another relationship by dating, while still having a healthy relationship between the 2 of you.
 
Good Afternoon,

I have been in lots of different kinds of relationships and have found it hard to find the right type of man. Since I was young I knew that to be fully happy Id like to explore life with 2 men. Does anyone have experience with this type of relationship and where I might be able to start?

Vee's are easy enough, but triads are a different story. What are the odds of finding two bi poly guys who would end up being into you and each other?

Hopefully there are some poly meetup groups in your area. A social poly scene sounds like a good bet.
 
I recommend strongly against setting a requirement for a relationship configuration for people to fit in to. Relationship configurations have a much better chance of flourishing if they form naturally based on the personalities and 'styles' of the people in them.

Thank you for your response. I wasn't wanting to limit anyone. I just wondered if there were groups of 2 men and 1 women versus the 1 man with multiple females.
 
Yup!!

Thank you for your response. I wasn't wanting to limit anyone. I just wondered if there were groups of 2 men and 1 women versus the 1 man with multiple females.
As common as it gets!! Considering the poly subject only! Not all stiles of relating ;)
If you think that's different .. Do share
 
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Thank you

Reading here you will find that the MFM-Vee seems to be one of the more stable poly-configurations (I am in one, as are several of our long-term posters). We have had a number of discussion on these forums as to why that might be - Are Males better "arms" or Females better "hinges"? Thread about this topic

That being said, I always assumed, as a bisexual poly female, that I would end up in a FFM-Vee/Triad. Didn't happen. I have had F-FWB that were involved or not with my boy(s) but my live-in partners are both male.

I have been in a Dom/sub relationship and I enjoyed that very much, but I found it lacking the tenderness that sometimes does not come with that type of relationship. I just thinking outside the box as I know that I love more than one and explore alternative lifestyles.
 
Thank you

The best way to find two guys is to find one at a time. Go on OK Cupid or somewhere and write a profile saying you are polyamorous. You will get lots of messages from men. Take them one at a time; don't push the V idea, but let them know you are not monogamous.

It takes time to find even one person who is compatible and a long term runner. You may find you need to kiss a lot of frogs to find someone you really like or love and lust for and find entertaining and easy to talk to, share hobbies and interests and life goals, etc., etc.

Personally I have a long term live in gf. I am bi, so is she, we are both poly. She has had a bf for about 4 years. Their relationship is becoming very stable. He has no desire to live with her (or anyone), so he has his own place 5 miles away. My gf splits her time between him and me. Our house is her main residence, she only visits his place.

I have had several long term relationships in the 9 years I have been poly and dating. The relationships have lasted 7 months to 2 1/2 years. I have enjoyed them all but none have been as stable as the relationship with my gf.

There are a handful of women on this board in stable LTRs with 2 guys. But many poly relationships do not last forever and ever, til death do you part. I hope you find at least one guy who is cool with you being poly and seeking another relationship by dating, while still having a healthy relationship between the 2 of you.

Thank you very much for you response. I appreciate all the information. I will try OK Cupid. I was unaware they had a poly section. I want to take my time in finding a partner. I rushed into my last relationship, horrible ending. But everything is a learning experience.
 
As common as it gets!! Considering the poly subject only! Not all stiles of relating ;)
If you think that's different .. Do share

Im not sure what you are asking. Im exploring the idea of poly as I have enjoyed men and women while I was in a Dom/sub relationship. Sometimes that type of relationship is lacking and I was just thinking of the next avenue in my life.
 
Good Afternoon,

I have been in lots of different kinds of relationships and have found it hard to find the right type of man. Since I was young I knew that to be fully happy Id like to explore life with 2 men. Does anyone have experience with this type of relationship and where I might be able to start?

:):) Thank you all so very much for all your stories and information.
 
Thank you very much for you response. I appreciate all the information. I will try OK Cupid. I was unaware they had a poly section. I want to take my time in finding a partner. I rushed into my last relationship, horrible ending. But everything is a learning experience.

OK Cupid doesn't have a "poly section." They are open to all kinds of people who want different relationship configurations, whether it's a one night hookup, gay, pansexual, BDSM, vanilla hetero looking for spouse, cheaters, polyamorous, and so on. Just make sure you mention in your profile you are non-mono/poly, and answer the questions provided which also reflect that. It will help match you up with like-minded people.

The theory about MFM relationships is that women make better hinges in Vs because we are raised to be more in touch with our own as well as other's emotions, and better in the social skills. Men can be such poor hinges.

It stands to reason FFM Vs (not triads) can also be quite stable. Or MFFM, where the 2 women are partners and both have another partner of their own.

I have found BDSM relationships can be full of tenderness, once the Dom/me realises they don't need to act tough and totally in control every second of every day.
 
I have two husbands. I have been with one 16 and a half years the other 5 and a half years.

Yes it can work. But it is hard work. My life style is different from Bluebird and Jane. They live with their partners under one roof. Where as I travel between hones I share with both. I own two homes. Take two vacations. My relationships are seperate but equal.

There is many many ways to do polyamory. What works for me doesn't work for others.
 
Im not sure what you are asking. Im exploring the idea of poly as I have enjoyed men and women while I was in a Dom/sub relationship. Sometimes that type of relationship is lacking and I was just thinking of the next avenue in my life.

If that was lacking you just didn't find the right partner(s).

Your response is interesting. Are you poly or just seeking thrills?
 
If that was lacking you just didn't find the right partner(s).

Your response is interesting. Are you poly or just seeking thrills?

It could be that the partners were just for play at the time and she wasn't seeking poly then... but figured out that she wanted poly (even if she wasn't sure of the terminology or even what she actually wanted... just knew she didn't want "just play partners") and wasn't getting it, so now she's asking for help in how to seek what she's actually looking for.

This is all just a guess though.
 
It could be that the partners were just for play at the time and she wasn't seeking poly then... but figured out that she wanted poly (even if she wasn't sure of the terminology or even what she actually wanted... just knew she didn't want "just play partners") and wasn't getting it, so now she's asking for help in how to seek what she's actually looking for.

This is all just a guess though.

But if you are just seeking play partners why condemn the whole scene for lack of intimacy? That would be like me looking for one night stands and then complaining they don't lead to marriage.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for experimenting and getting to know one's self. My question wasn't meant to be judgmental. I was just seeking clarification because it seemed like "okay I tried this, now I'm going to try something else".
 
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