CosmoKitty
New member
But what poly relationship scenario isn't unique? lol. Hello everyone! I find myself in need of some fellow poly support as I'm in a whole new situation and with no one to really talk to. I have been off and on again with a man who until now has been more monogamous. We were more recently in a state of limbo, choosing to be just intimate friends (without the relationship label). But when he found another woman he was interested in I suddenly didn't feel as...secure. My last poly relationship I was in was with my husband years ago in which I also had an LDR so things were different. In that case I had a primary and got to set up boundaries but with this current situation I felt like I was completely exposed - too vulnerable to being hurt.
For a while I thought I really could go without the label. He said he wouldn't get involved with anyone who would pull him away from me but I felt like I found my first boundary - I at Least needed the label of being in an open-relationship. I didn't feel right opening myself up to him on so many levels and to not have any say at All in who he see's as well (mostly for safety reasons). Before we took on that label I felt very threatened by this other woman. After, I actually feel better and have been more willing to talk about her with him. He's wondering how to bring up our situation to her and I've been telling him the best thing to do is to be honest. I can tell that he's afraid she'll run away, even though she seems to be just as open as I am, if not more.
Anyone have any advice on how to overcome jealousy (as it is quite new to me - I didn't have this issue so much with my past partners) and how to bring up your poly-ness to people in a subtle way that wouldn't scare them off? Personally I feel like if they won't wait around to ask more about what it means, then they're probably not worth the effort. This is all super new to me, any help is appreciated! Thanks!
For a while I thought I really could go without the label. He said he wouldn't get involved with anyone who would pull him away from me but I felt like I found my first boundary - I at Least needed the label of being in an open-relationship. I didn't feel right opening myself up to him on so many levels and to not have any say at All in who he see's as well (mostly for safety reasons). Before we took on that label I felt very threatened by this other woman. After, I actually feel better and have been more willing to talk about her with him. He's wondering how to bring up our situation to her and I've been telling him the best thing to do is to be honest. I can tell that he's afraid she'll run away, even though she seems to be just as open as I am, if not more.
Anyone have any advice on how to overcome jealousy (as it is quite new to me - I didn't have this issue so much with my past partners) and how to bring up your poly-ness to people in a subtle way that wouldn't scare them off? Personally I feel like if they won't wait around to ask more about what it means, then they're probably not worth the effort. This is all super new to me, any help is appreciated! Thanks!