Unplanned Pregnancy!?!?

Has anyone been through an unplanned pregnancy while poly? Particularly one where the paternity is unknown?

I won’t go into all the details, but I have been feeling awful for the last week and at the doctors today they did a serum pregnancy test that came back “indeterminate.” Which basically means I have low levels of HCG in my system, but not enough for them to get an accurate count? I think it means I am having an early miscarriage? Or maybe that it is too early to know for sure? (My period isn’t even due until Friday) Anyway, I am going to take a urine test in the morning and I have to go back for another blood test in 72 hours.

I talked to both my partners and they are handling it in stride, but I am totally freaking out. I don’t know how this happened. I track when I ovulate and all the sex I had during that time was protected with condoms and there were no breaks or slippages or anything.

I am just babbling now. I am in total shock. Anyone else been through an unplanned pregnancy or pregnancy scare while poly?
 
I cannot relate compketely but I've seen your prev posts regarding your partners & one not wanting more children while the other does, odd requests about your practices with the other, etc. I would not call tracking ovulation & condom use less than 100% of the time an effective birth cohtrol method. Do you realize that sperm can live up to a week inside your body? Not to mention now that I'm in my 40's while I can still get pregnant, my cycles are nuts. With my current boyfriend or anyone outside of my husband it's condoms 100% of the time because we have a no unprotected vaginal/anal sex agreement. Hubby has had a vasectomy & boyfriend has one scheduled for the summer but bf & I will still use condoms even after. Basically what it will eliminate for us is a previous pregnancy scare due to my crazy hormones & a condom that slipped. So, until the vasectomy should we happen to have another condom malfunction of any kind it will be off to the store for Plan B. None of the three of us wants to start/start over with kids at this point in our lives. Not to mention hubby's & my families are aware of his vasectomy. It would get interesting to explain to my father & my brother-in-law what happened since they aren't aware of the poly thing.

I hope this works out however you want it to & if everyone is not on board with children (all 3 of you) you will take steps to procure a more dependable method of birth control.
 
Yes, I am aware of the lifespan of sperm within the human reproductive tract. The instance of unprotected sex with Glasses this month was well over a week before I ovulated.

Any condom breaks or slips would have meant a trip to get Plan B. There have been no instances of less than perfect use and so I never had a reason to take plan b.

Perhaps this is TMI but part of my shock is because neither partner usually ejaculates during intercourse. It has only happened once — ever — with Ponytail (and that was months ago) and Glasses didn’t ejaculate during intercourse (both protected and the one time unprotected) this month either.
 
Perhaps this is TMI but part of my shock is because neither partner usually ejaculates during intercourse. It has only happened once — ever — with Ponytail (and that was months ago) and Glasses didn’t ejaculate during intercourse (both protected and the one time unprotected) this month either.
If that's true, just wait for the repeated test results. There's a good chance the test was corrupted in some way. It can give false positives i.e. if you take sleep medication, and it's not even positive. You have no idea if you're actually pregnant. I know the possibility is scary, but as you say, chances are slim.
 
Even without ejaculation there is still sperm coming out. That is why pulling out is so notoriously unreliable. The rhythm method is unreliable as well.
 
Even without ejaculation there is still sperm coming out. That is why pulling out is so notoriously unreliable. The rhythm method is unreliable as well.

Natural family planning is actually quite effective. If you are using the calendar, taking your temperature, and checking cervical mucus, and abstain or use condoms or diaphragm during fertile time of the month, it works as well as using condoms 100% of the time, or using hormonal bc.

MsEmotional, I am sorry you are going through this! It must be quite a shock. I never had an unplanned pregnancy, but I always lived in fear of one, as most of us do. I hope it resolves quickly and in the way you want.
 
Natural family planning is actually quite effective. If you are using the calendar, taking your temperature, and checking cervical mucus, and abstain or use condoms or diaphragm during fertile time of the month, it works as well as using condoms 100% of the time, or using hormonal bc.

MsEmotional, I am sorry you are going through this! It must be quite a shock. I never had an unplanned pregnancy, but I always lived in fear of one, as most of us do. I hope it resolves quickly and in the way you want.

Thank you, Magdlyn. .
 
If that's true, just wait for the repeated test results. There's a good chance the test was corrupted in some way. It can give false positives i.e. if you take sleep medication, and it's not even positive. You have no idea if you're actually pregnant. I know the possibility is scary, but as you say, chances are slim.

Thank you. I peed on some tests this morning and while the less sensitive ones were all negative, the two different brands were faintly positive. Extremely faint, but since I am still 3 days away from my expected period, it’s hard to tell whether it is “non-viable chemical pregnancy faint” or “just early faint.” I suppose we won’t know until the second quantitative blood test shows increasing or decreasing levels. I do know that when I was trying to conceive my second daughter, I tested early and I had much clearer positive results — even this far in advance of my period. So I guess I am assuming that is a chemical pregnancy until the blood results confirm or deny that....
 
If I remember right, Ponytail wanted to father a child, but Glasses did not. I am also thinking that you did not want to get pregnant, but maybe it was something you might be willing to do for Ponytail? In any case, I'm sure you didn't want it to be an oops/surprise. I hope you'll test negative in the near future.
 
The cheap over-the-counter tests can be inaccurate. Blood tests work better. For me, the result was so strong on both there was no denying it. Since my cycle is usually non-existent and when it does exist is intermittent at best, I had no way of knowing until my sister-wife handed me a test and told me to use it. She identified my symptoms when I still thought I was getting the flu.

I can totally identify with the shock and mixed feelings you are going through. I thought for years that I was completely unable to conceive. I'd mostly made my peace with it, my husband married me knowing that we'd never have kids together. I figured my role in life was to help his other wives with their kids. As it turns out, I got pregnant almost immediately. I've had mixed feelings ever since, mostly due to my upbringing and panic about if I'm going to be a decent mom.

If you don't want another child or aren't ready, you aren't stuck being pregnant. There are ways out. Or, like me, your feelings might change over time. Nothing like hormones to make a mess of your head...
 
My tubal ligation failed 5 years ago. Ended up with a tubal pregnancy. Nothing is 100%.
 
If you don't want another child or aren't ready, you aren't stuck being pregnant. There are ways out.

Why is everyone always so afraid to say the word... ABORTION. If you don't want to be pregnant, or if you don't want a(nother) kid, you can get an abortion (unless you live in Ireland or Afghanistan or some place like that).
 
I (probably) had a miscarriage shortly after I gained a second partner; one of the partners was struggling with infertility with his wife, so fun times.
 
Second blood test is tomorrow (finally). Longest 72 hours of my life. Hoping to have some answers soon.

In the meantime, I have had two Digital positive tests, but most of the regular line tests are still showing negatives or only really faint lines.

I am finally getting past my shock that this is really happening — that despite the odds, a sperm cell actually met an egg cell and implanted somewhere in my body — and starting to think about what the next steps are if this issue doesn’t resolve itself on its own.
 
I (probably) had a miscarriage shortly after I gained a second partner; one of the partners was struggling with infertility with his wife, so fun times.

Had you known you were pregnant? Had you told your partners? How did they react?
 
Had you known you were pregnant? Had you told your partners? How did they react?


No, I got the period from hell, and the next day realized this was just how my friend who miscarried described. For reasons I never got it medically confirmed but I'm sure that's what happened. I think it happened from lazy of hand stuff, and I'm pretty sure of whose it was.

Don't remember who I told first. One shrugged it off and after a beat asked if I was okay. The other took about a week before I saw him face to face. He refused to believe it unless I went to the doctor, and it was pretty much too late at that point. His wife (my meta) was super caring. We talked because she realized it was a possibility, and found out we were on the same page of if it took. (Carrying a kid to term would gravely injure me and the kid.)
 
I wasn't poly at the time, but after going off the pill and trying to get pregnant for about eighteen months, I thought I might be pregnant finally when I had a hard time fitting into my jeans. (My periods had always been irregular so I couldn't rely on being a few days "late" as an indicator.)

Several home pregnancy tests were inconclusive and the first test my doctor performed also came back indeterminate, so she sent me for a blood test. It was positive, but shortly afterwards I began to bleed and thought I must be miscarrying.

Two early ultrasounds (at around seven and nine weeks) showed a live fetus but also an odd "blank" spot within the womb that one gyno said may have been a twin/sac that had spontaneously aborted - hence the confusing test readings.
 
Update 4/14

Second blood test came back. HCG is low, but increasing. They want me to come back in for another draw on Monday.

This situation is so complex. Both Glasses and Ponytail don’t even know how to think about their role in this — Glasses is assuming Ponytail is the father and Ponytail is assuming Glasses is the father. And without either of them knowing how to feel or act or think about this, they both seem uncertain as to whether they should give any opinions about the situation.

So I don’t personally feel comfortable making a decision about termination until I have done the paternity testing — and it looks like I can get that done at 8 or 9 weeks. It will be expensive, and a long 4-5 weeks to wait, but I need confirmation of paternity before making further decisions.....
 
Why do you feel you need to know who is the bio dad? You don't want a child, right? And (sorry I forget one, one or the other of the men want a kid), it's still your body to do with as you wish. If one guy wants a baby, you still have every right to refuse being the incubator. If he has bad feels about that, it's too bad. This is an unplanned pregnancy, fraught with difficulties. He has to deal with his emotions around you not being the right woman to have a baby with.
 
Why do you feel you need to know who is the bio dad? You don't want a child, right? And (sorry I forget one, one or the other of the men want a kid), it's still your body to do with as you wish. If one guy wants a baby, you still have every right to refuse being the incubator. If he has bad feels about that, it's too bad. This is an unplanned pregnancy, fraught with difficulties. He has to deal with his emotions around you not being the right woman to have a baby with.

Actually, I've always wanted another baby. It was Glasses who wanted to stop at two, and I was okay with that because I was happy with the two we have and didn't want to bring a child into the world who wasn't wanted by both of its parents.
 
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