OK, so what is your thinking around establishing paternity? If you and Ponytail are the bio parents, you'll keep the baby despite Glasses' objections? If it's Glasses' baby, you'll terminate?
If you keep the baby, then what? What is the plan?
Isn't that monogamistic?
Doesn't a child "belong" to the mother?
I'm assuming there is no chance the baby could be Laptop's (?) I ask because of what you said earlier about neither Glasses nor Ponytail ejaculating during Intercourse.
I know you have to start considering options, but can't help thinking this is a lot of angst to put yourself and the men concerned through until you know for certain whether or not you're actually pregnant.
If you DO happen to be, and since you've always wanted another child, I'm thinking you may resent Glasses if he makes it clear he expects you to terminate the pregnancy - regardless of whose child it happens to be. Remember, it's your body and your child. Neither guy should pressure you to either keep the baby or terminate the pregnancy. You need to decide based on what's in yours and that child's best interest.
Regardless of whether I want the baby or not, someone is on the hook for a lifetime of parental obligations and support and I would like to know who that person is and have a conversation with that person before making a decision about whether to continue the pregnancy.
Regardless of whether I want the baby or not, someone is on the hook for a lifetime of parental obligations and support and I would like to know who that person is and have a conversation with that person before making a decision about whether to continue the pregnancy.
It’s always so hard to know what is in the best interest of the child (and my two children that I already have). I don’t want to bring a child into the family if that child is resented or there is a lot of discord and stress in the family. I want to do the right thing for the family, even if it’s not the right thing for me. I just don’t know if there’s a way to make the right thing for me also be the right thing for the family.
Sperm can remain active until semen is fully dry. If the semen remains damp, sperm exposed to air can still live for an hour or so.what you said earlier about neither Glasses nor Ponytail ejaculating during Intercourse.
Perhaps what is causing the confusion is the idea that I would like to keep the baby but I would terminate if I didn’t have the support of the father.
Well this does sound confusing (and I realize fully that one moment you could be convinced one way, and an hour later feel the opposite, that's ok, I just want to highlight for you).(I told him after I had to have a D&C after a loss three years ago that I didn’t think I could ever have an abortion.)
I told Ponytail that if I got an abortion he couldn’t ever talk about wanting a kid — EVER. That if he didn’t feel strongly enough to keep this baby now, he couldn’t complain later about being baby crazy and thinking about hiring a surrogate.
I'm sorry you're struggling. This is really a tough situation.
While I think the weight of it all falls disproportionately on you, and you should have all the support you need, I think that the following is a little unfair on Ponytail.
From what I can tell, he is not ready to have a child NOW. To bind him into never expressing such a need even when he becomes objectively and emotionally ready is perhaps rather harsh. I think he understands and is complacent because he is genuinely torn and you're under so much stress, but it's best to be careful with such declarations and not seek to control someone else's future choices. It seems to me this veers into emotional blackmail.
This is likely all emotional talk and it's good to air these feelings, just bear in mind not to let things get entirely out of proportion. This might not be what you need to hear now. If not, file it away.
I really hope you can work this out.