Hi , I'm Luke, from Bristol!

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Hi Everyone, I'm Luke, from Bristol (UK)- Looking forward to using this forum and maybe making some friends :) I am a 23 year old gay male, I'm currently studying on my last year of an illustration degree.

I would like to give some information about my current situation, partially to vent, partially see if anybody has anything they'd like to comment on.

I have been in a relationship for 3 years with my partner- somebody I love deeply and who I hope I will stay with for the forseeable future. We have been in a sexually open relationship ( having sexual encounters with other people, without a romantic element) for about a year and a half. It has so far worked very well for us- He is a sound engineer and works abroad a lot with bands, sometimes for long periods, and I recently studied for 4 months in Austria.

Recently though I've had some problems- we went a away on holiday for a few days recently and found we didn't have a much to talk about a lot of the time... partially I think this is because despite caring immensly about each other there are significant aspects of our lives we struggle to engage each other on- I can't be a conversational equal on his topics of interest (music, tech..) and he can't on mine ( politics,art ) etc. Sometimes I also feel awkward sexually, as if everything is a bit too familiar ( like being intimate with a family member?!... Unsure if anybody else has had that feeling in an LTR before!)

The second big issue is- I've met up with someone on a couple dates and am beggining to feel very attracted to them, having quite intense feelings, and like I could potentially want a relationship with them at some point. I guess partially this is because we have the things in common that me and my partner don't.

The last thing I want Is the end the largely successful relationship me and my partner have built together. That has led me to consider Polyamoury as an option. I have yet to discuss this with my partner ( I want to be sure of my feelings about everything before I propose such a big thing). The thing I'm most anxious of is him agreeing to something just out of fear of loosing me. But we're both very respectfull of each other, and being in a sexually open relationship has made us very good about talking about our feelings, and on the whole this has made us stronger. So I'm optimistic about trying something.


Really sorry for blabbing this all out on my first post!!! This is a bit of a awkward and worrying period at the moment and it feels good just to be able to blut it all out and read it back.... Anyway! Thanks for having me and I look forward to reading more posts from others on the forum about their experiences! = )

Luke
 
Greetings Luke,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I'm sure you will meet many good friends here and get some feedback for your thoughts, questions, and concerns. It seems to me that you have handled your relationship carefully and responsibly, and I think you could make a good candidate for a polyamorous life. Talk it over with your partner as soon as you feel you can. Communication is such a staple in any relationship, it is like the lifeblood that keeps everything supplied with nutrients and oxygen. Even if you're not ready to talk about poly per se yet, you might want to confess that you're having some feelings for this other person, and you're trying to figure out what to do, but you want your partner to know that you are devoted to him and are not going anywhere.

It's okay for a relationship to settle into a groove, it's not going to be as exciting as it was in the beginning, when you were first getting to know each other. Perhaps you just know now that you don't have to be around each other all the time, even when on vacation. Don't try to force anything, just be faithful friends to each other.

I think you can just figure things out a little at a time as you go along, and you will be alright. Explore the site and see what we have to offer.

Good to have you with us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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Welcome aboard!
 
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