serenityruler
New member
God, I don't even know where to start.
Basic layout I guess. I'm female (bi) and I have a boyfriend (also bi) and he has a wife. The two of them have been together for 5-6 years, he and I have been together a year now. Until recently, his wife also had a boyfriend for roughly a year and a half? I don't know when it started.
Anyway, this is mostly about my boyfriend's wife and her now-ex-boyfriend. Their relationship started roughly around the time that she and my bf were hurriedly planning their wedding so that they could have it while his dad was still live, which they did. But! I think all the NRE with her boyfriend combined with the stress of planning the wedding kinda pushed her and her husband (my bf) apart. I got most of the details after the wedding that they had called it off a couple times and he had said he's monogamous and wants to get married and have kids some day. When I joined in, they were more established as an actual couple.
But even so, there always seemed to be some drama, and there was the drama that she kept pulling further away her husband. She would stay the night at the boyfriend's place all the time and there was less and less intimacy between her and her husband. That's partly why I came into the picture. I was supposed to just be fun, but those feelings things got in the way. Regardless, she always seemed to have more feelings for her bf than her bf had for her. She mentioned more than once that they were trying to spend less time together, and my boyfriend intimated that meant that her bf needed space and felt smothered.
This would be so much easier with names. Should I just make names? Rawr. We'll come my bf John, his wife Lacey, and her boyfriend Mark. Moving on, Mark broke things off with Lacey the day after Valentine's day. We'd spent Vday together the four of us for a fabulous meal cooked by John. 4 course, gorgeous. Since they broke up though, Lacey kept finding time to be around Mark. They always had some excuse, like oh other friend's were coming over, including Mark's cousin, so yeah he came. Oh they had signed up for this gun safety course together before they broke up so they were still going to go... Note: I'm antiguns and don't like that to start with.
Coincidentally, the gun class was the weekend I complained of in my introduction post, when my bf John didn't have any time for me in part because he wanted to spend Saturday night "doing Philly" with Lacey, some sort of thing I guess they always used to do, just bar hopping. John mentioned earlier in the week that Mark might come along after the class, hoping he wouldn't but ultimately not caring so long as he got to "do Philly" with Lacey. I pointed out there's no reason Mark should come. They're BROKEN UP. But also, if Mark was going to come, why couldn't I come? It's not just the two of them, so what harm is it for me to come?
What happens? Mark gets to come and I don't find out until after. Apparently on the train ride home, John and Mark had a serious chat and John felt like Mark was sincere in not wanting to go on with Lacey anymore. They just have different life goals and he can't keep dragging her around like a dead weight so to speak (I might be embellishing). The next weekend, Mark comes over again with his cousin and John is working all night. Mark gets hammered and can't drive home, so Lacey lets him stay the night. John objects on his break when Lacey tells him. He's not okay with Mark staying the night, but Lacey sees no other option and that's that.
NOW somehow they spent St. Patrick's together, one or both were drunk (maybe? John isn't even sure) and they had sex. John's not upset. I think he's defeated. I'm upset on his behalf. Lacey is hurting John with all this bullshit. Her ex boyfriend is now getting laid more than her husband. It's fucked up. He can't go to work without worrying that she's going to sleep with her ex and then be emotionally disturbed about it. She gets anxious and depressed, crying, and John is always there to comfort her. He's so fucking supportive. He's a saint, to me at least. And what does he get for it? She doesn't even really want to kiss him anymore. I understand relationships can be platonic, but that's not what he wants. It's not what he signed up for.
I'm tired of Lacey hurting John for Mark, who doesn't even want Lacey. Mark isn't honorable. He's hurting Lacey and thus hurting John... and along the way I'm feeling some pain, too. I'm worried about John. I know we're supposed to be poly and one big happy family, but I think their marriage is failing and I don't know what the right thing to do is. Sometimes I want to shake Lacey. Some of their friends have intimated that it's already over, it's just a matter of time. Another friend said Lacey will never leave John because John lets her live in his house for free and lets her throw huge drunken parties there. Lacey wants to move into the other bedroom (currently occupied by a friend who may move out soon), and I think it would be a terrible sign for their relationship, but then I could stay over whenever I wanted, and I'd like that.
I don't know. I'm tired of Lacey's bullshit at this very moment and I just needed to vent about it some. If you have advice, I'd love to hear it. I know we want poly relationships to work, but sometimes they don't and maybe I need advice on how to handle that? Thanks for reading this at least.
Basic layout I guess. I'm female (bi) and I have a boyfriend (also bi) and he has a wife. The two of them have been together for 5-6 years, he and I have been together a year now. Until recently, his wife also had a boyfriend for roughly a year and a half? I don't know when it started.
Anyway, this is mostly about my boyfriend's wife and her now-ex-boyfriend. Their relationship started roughly around the time that she and my bf were hurriedly planning their wedding so that they could have it while his dad was still live, which they did. But! I think all the NRE with her boyfriend combined with the stress of planning the wedding kinda pushed her and her husband (my bf) apart. I got most of the details after the wedding that they had called it off a couple times and he had said he's monogamous and wants to get married and have kids some day. When I joined in, they were more established as an actual couple.
But even so, there always seemed to be some drama, and there was the drama that she kept pulling further away her husband. She would stay the night at the boyfriend's place all the time and there was less and less intimacy between her and her husband. That's partly why I came into the picture. I was supposed to just be fun, but those feelings things got in the way. Regardless, she always seemed to have more feelings for her bf than her bf had for her. She mentioned more than once that they were trying to spend less time together, and my boyfriend intimated that meant that her bf needed space and felt smothered.
This would be so much easier with names. Should I just make names? Rawr. We'll come my bf John, his wife Lacey, and her boyfriend Mark. Moving on, Mark broke things off with Lacey the day after Valentine's day. We'd spent Vday together the four of us for a fabulous meal cooked by John. 4 course, gorgeous. Since they broke up though, Lacey kept finding time to be around Mark. They always had some excuse, like oh other friend's were coming over, including Mark's cousin, so yeah he came. Oh they had signed up for this gun safety course together before they broke up so they were still going to go... Note: I'm antiguns and don't like that to start with.
Coincidentally, the gun class was the weekend I complained of in my introduction post, when my bf John didn't have any time for me in part because he wanted to spend Saturday night "doing Philly" with Lacey, some sort of thing I guess they always used to do, just bar hopping. John mentioned earlier in the week that Mark might come along after the class, hoping he wouldn't but ultimately not caring so long as he got to "do Philly" with Lacey. I pointed out there's no reason Mark should come. They're BROKEN UP. But also, if Mark was going to come, why couldn't I come? It's not just the two of them, so what harm is it for me to come?
What happens? Mark gets to come and I don't find out until after. Apparently on the train ride home, John and Mark had a serious chat and John felt like Mark was sincere in not wanting to go on with Lacey anymore. They just have different life goals and he can't keep dragging her around like a dead weight so to speak (I might be embellishing). The next weekend, Mark comes over again with his cousin and John is working all night. Mark gets hammered and can't drive home, so Lacey lets him stay the night. John objects on his break when Lacey tells him. He's not okay with Mark staying the night, but Lacey sees no other option and that's that.
NOW somehow they spent St. Patrick's together, one or both were drunk (maybe? John isn't even sure) and they had sex. John's not upset. I think he's defeated. I'm upset on his behalf. Lacey is hurting John with all this bullshit. Her ex boyfriend is now getting laid more than her husband. It's fucked up. He can't go to work without worrying that she's going to sleep with her ex and then be emotionally disturbed about it. She gets anxious and depressed, crying, and John is always there to comfort her. He's so fucking supportive. He's a saint, to me at least. And what does he get for it? She doesn't even really want to kiss him anymore. I understand relationships can be platonic, but that's not what he wants. It's not what he signed up for.
I'm tired of Lacey hurting John for Mark, who doesn't even want Lacey. Mark isn't honorable. He's hurting Lacey and thus hurting John... and along the way I'm feeling some pain, too. I'm worried about John. I know we're supposed to be poly and one big happy family, but I think their marriage is failing and I don't know what the right thing to do is. Sometimes I want to shake Lacey. Some of their friends have intimated that it's already over, it's just a matter of time. Another friend said Lacey will never leave John because John lets her live in his house for free and lets her throw huge drunken parties there. Lacey wants to move into the other bedroom (currently occupied by a friend who may move out soon), and I think it would be a terrible sign for their relationship, but then I could stay over whenever I wanted, and I'd like that.
I don't know. I'm tired of Lacey's bullshit at this very moment and I just needed to vent about it some. If you have advice, I'd love to hear it. I know we want poly relationships to work, but sometimes they don't and maybe I need advice on how to handle that? Thanks for reading this at least.