Birthdays/other occasions and Gifts!

AlwaysGrowing

Well-known member
So... Boy's birthday is coming up, and I now get to give him a gift! :D Woohoo! I don't give gifts often, but I really try to make them special when I do. I'm curious what y'all do for birthdays for your partners, friends, and people in between.

Boy would best be described as my boyfriend, I suppose, since that's what everyone else calls him, but he and I don't label things. He didn't give me a gift this year since he was in a bit of a financial crisis, but we did take a weekend trip later in the month that we shared the cost of (he probably spent around $100-150 total for the weekend - which includes meals for both of us, not just me, and gas. I paid for the room). Last year, he gave me a sex accessory that was around $100, too. I was in between jobs last year for his birthday, so this will be the first time I'm in a position to actually do something semi-nice for him.

We've talked about doing the whole "Love is Art" thing before, so I was thinking about making my own kit to give to him (cheaper and more customizable). It was my idea, though, so I don't want to give him a gift that's really for me. :/ He was excited, though, and said he'd want to do it a few times to play around with the results (and so that we each at least have one to put up in our homes).

I also thought about planning another weekend away. I know he liked it last time, but it was definitely MY trip - doing things I wanted to do first and filling in with his requests.

Or I know an artist who does sketches he'd love. I'm iffy about buying him art, though... At least if we made art together, he'd be a part of it. If I picked it out entirely, I'd just be decorating his house for him. ha

So, yeah! What do you all think? What would you do in this situation or what have you done in the past?

Have I mentioned that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE birthdays?! :p
 
I think buying him art is OK. That kind of thing would be exactly something I'd appreciate, and not think of it about someone else wanting to decorate the house for me. I actually have several pieces of art that were given to me as gifts and those are the most precious ones.

Your other ideas are not bad, either :)
 
I don't really do anything for birthdays or other holidays. I don't want to feel obligated to buy something because the calender says I should. We don't really have any extra money for things like that anyway so if Nate was dating someone they most likely will never get one from him.
 
Heh, I'm in Inyourendo's camp on this one. I'm a grinch about every holiday including birthdays. Still if I was going to buy someone a gift, I'd try to think of something they would like. If they're a sports nut I could get them a jersey or something.

My V usually goes out to eat somewhere special for each person's birthday. Brother-Husband loves celebrating birthdays and holidays, and loves to give people Hallmark cards. He often gives Snowbunny flowers for her birthday, Valentine's Day, etc.

Just be creative and think of something really special, something from the heart. If you can't think of anything big, get (and/or make) several smaller gifts! Have fun with it.
 
The ONLY time I buy gifts are birthdays (and Hubby and I do Christmas gifts that are more for the home). And usually I don't buy gifts, I plan a super nice evening (usually with a home-cooked meal) so that it's special. I just like the excuse to make a day about someone.

Boy's ex-wife, though, already has dinner covered, and we're going to be with her and her partner. So, unless I waited until the following week, I can't do my usual thing. He's also given me some nice things in the past, so I like the idea of giving him something, too.

I got the stuff for the sex painting. I also got a sketch that made me think of him. Not very expensive, but fun. :) I'm also going to take him some of his favorite cookies that I make and these scone-ish things that I make for him to take to work the next day.
 
That sounds like a good plan to me. :)
 
The sketch was small, 10x14. It's already hanging in his room. He's also already trying to figure out the best location to do the love is art thing, so I'm counting it as a win. :)
 
With Christmas just over, I thought about this thread. Hubby, Boy, and I all exchanged gifts, which was awesome.

Hubby to Boy: Summer survival kit. A park pass, sunscreen, and aloe as well as a nice tote to take with.

Boy to Hubby: A game that he's been wanting and some candy

Me to Boy: pajamas, a stocking full of little things, and a few (cheap) groupons for things we've talked about doing together and one for a treat for himself.

Boy to me: pajamas, a couple of pairs of warm socks, some kitchen stuff we'd briefly talked about, and a sentimental knick knack.

Everyone left happy, and it was adorable seeing the guys get so excited about gifts received and given.
 
My favorite gift is my new Breaking Bad T-shirt. ;)
 
I agree with Inyourendo, I don't like traditions and being expected to do stuff just because other people say so. I don't celebrate holidays or birthdays (my parents still insist on buying me chistmas presents though) because I don't see any inherent value in them. I do however love gifts and how they can form relationships, gift economies are rather intresting. I give gifts when I feel like it or if I have spare money and see something that I think someone will like (I don't like money).
 
I guess this is the most appropriate thread for the time and opportunity to ask the question. Being fairly newer to being "actively" poly in a what's becoming an awesome V relationship..., with holidays, I'm curious how others handle Valentine's Day? Who gets what day or gifts etc. This year I was really wanting to give my 2nd partner Valentine's Day since he really suffers the lonelies and we don't get constant time together but we both are wanting to be sensitive to my husband who is new to fully accepting open marriage so Sam and I are doing the before night. Im jus interested in others ideas of juggling love on loves special day.
 
Mal is here this year. But only because that's the only weekend in February that works with my work schedule. Valentine's day isn't a huge thing that Djinn and Mal celebrate, so she said she doesn't mind. He's actually here for the whole weekend, and we are planning to see a show and go for dinner. No gifts. No flowers. Though I might send her some or a card or something. :)
 
every Thanksgiving with Nate family in the past but that's changing I think I'm not going to bother celebrating any holidays anymore so whoever night it is that the Holy Lands on will be spending with me but doesn't really matter we're not going to be celebrating anyhow
 
If Valentines Day is craved by both of one's partners, then it makes sense to trade off from year to year. One partner gets Valentines one year, the other partner gets Valentines the next year. Meanwhile, whoever doesn't get Valentines on a particular year, gets the day after.

Does that make sense?

And of course you can always give Valentines Day gifts to both partners.
 
This is the first year Valentine's Day has been a "thing" since I came out as poly; last year, I was seeing Guy, who lived too far away for any holidays to be an issue, and given that his income was pretty much eaten up by child support, we never exchanged gifts.

I wasn't sure about Valentine's Day this year. Hubby isn't a gift type of person; he'll get me a card or something because Alt will remind him to or because he'll remember that it's meaningful to me to receive something, but he doesn't care whether I give him anything or not. But S2 mentioned that he wants to give me something, and that means I want to give him something even though he specifically said I don't have to.

As far as which one I'm spending Valentine's Day with... neither. S2 has Spikes and Beads that weekend (and I have Country), and Hubby will be working. I'll probably ask Hubby to take me out to dinner the night before, though, since he has Fridays off from both of his jobs.
 
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