metandwessy
New member
So my partner and I have been together for over two years now and the chemistry and sexual excitement has been fading for a bit. Sometimes it's nice that we are in an open relationship because we can both be excited about sex with other people and sometimes it makes us more excited to be with each other too. Not all the time, but sometimes.
About a month ago, we had an STI scare which we think was due to my partner having unprotected oral with a risky sex partner. His tests came up positive but mine did not but we both took the medications and abstained from sex with each other and others. Even though I knew about it beforehand and consented to have unprotected sex with him a few days later, I have to admit, I was pretty turned off by the whole thing and haven't really wanted to be with him ever since.
I think part of the reason is the whole STI thing and the fact that his lingered for a couple weeks after he was treated and I had a feeling it was still around but he insisted it wasn't. Finally, he agreed to go get re-checked just to make sure and turns out he still had something. Then I was super glad I had decided not to have sex with him despite his trying to persuade me!
Now it's been a couple weeks since then and I'm pretty turned off. He insists that he has absolutely no more symptoms and wants to be sexual. I'm still scared and frankly, my vagina is like the most balanced and healthy it's ever been since I haven't had unprotected sex with him in over a month. I don't really want to lose that and plus I've just really been turned off by this whole ordeal.
In addition to that, we've been having a few other relationship strains and miscommunication and so having sex with him just seems like the furthest thing from my mind. He has other partners and as long as it's planned so I can go be with my other partners, I'm totally cool with him going to fuck them.
But the last couple days he has started saying something that just absolutely enrages me. He'll initiate sex and though I don't flat out reject him, he can tell I'm just not that excited. Then he'll say "well then I'm just going to go find someone else to have sex with tonight then". And then I'm REALLY turned off and disgusted. I try to express this to him and he says "well I need to get my needs met somehow so you really should try to be understanding of that".
Where do I even start?! Is this my problem? Is this a totally fair thing for him to say and do and I need to be more understanding of it? What do you guys think?
About a month ago, we had an STI scare which we think was due to my partner having unprotected oral with a risky sex partner. His tests came up positive but mine did not but we both took the medications and abstained from sex with each other and others. Even though I knew about it beforehand and consented to have unprotected sex with him a few days later, I have to admit, I was pretty turned off by the whole thing and haven't really wanted to be with him ever since.
I think part of the reason is the whole STI thing and the fact that his lingered for a couple weeks after he was treated and I had a feeling it was still around but he insisted it wasn't. Finally, he agreed to go get re-checked just to make sure and turns out he still had something. Then I was super glad I had decided not to have sex with him despite his trying to persuade me!
Now it's been a couple weeks since then and I'm pretty turned off. He insists that he has absolutely no more symptoms and wants to be sexual. I'm still scared and frankly, my vagina is like the most balanced and healthy it's ever been since I haven't had unprotected sex with him in over a month. I don't really want to lose that and plus I've just really been turned off by this whole ordeal.
In addition to that, we've been having a few other relationship strains and miscommunication and so having sex with him just seems like the furthest thing from my mind. He has other partners and as long as it's planned so I can go be with my other partners, I'm totally cool with him going to fuck them.
But the last couple days he has started saying something that just absolutely enrages me. He'll initiate sex and though I don't flat out reject him, he can tell I'm just not that excited. Then he'll say "well then I'm just going to go find someone else to have sex with tonight then". And then I'm REALLY turned off and disgusted. I try to express this to him and he says "well I need to get my needs met somehow so you really should try to be understanding of that".
Where do I even start?! Is this my problem? Is this a totally fair thing for him to say and do and I need to be more understanding of it? What do you guys think?