New partner and suddenly not into sex with husband

My husband and I have been together 6 years, have been poly nearly all of it. (I have been pretty much exclusively in poly relationships since I was 17). We'd both had a handful of casual relationships, and he has a girlfriend of nearly a year that he loves. We're not poly newbies.

That said, this is completely new to me. I started dating a new guy about a month ago who I like a lot. We have great chemistry, I'm pretty into him. And suddenly, I am just not into having sex with my husband. I've even kind of turn off kissing him right now. This has never happened before when I've seen new partners in the past - usually I want to be with him even more! I haven't told him anything about this because I think it would make him super sad and upset, and have been having sex with him the regular amount hoping my desire for him would just come back.

Please tell me that this is a fairly common thing and will pass soon?
 
I was like that. It did pass once the newness wore off. Just keep making an effort to maintain intimacy with your husbabf or that could cause jealousy issues on his end.
 
There's a risk that this means you're mono and can only love one person at a time. If this is true, be honest with your husband. If it passes, than it's just a phase and you're poly.
 
I was under the impression the others had all been casual. In that case, I dunno. Wait it out?

She didn't say this new guy isn't also casual, didn't mention love - just that she's really "into him." They've only been seeing each other a month. So, I would hardly think this recent development could mean she's not poly (if she is indeed one of those types of people who see poly as an identity/personality trait/orientation - she may not be).

OP, I wouldn't worry too much about it. There have been a gazillion threads posted here just like yours. I think you've just found someone who hits all (or a lot) of the high notes for you, and is much more compatible than other casual partners you've had. Eventually, the headiness of infatuation will die down - it always does.

Meantime, I think you need to focus on being as present for your husband as you can - try to find something new about him when you're together sexually. In general, we usually lose enthusiasm for our "same old" partners because familiarity leads us to believe we know all there is to know about them. We see them as predictable. So, of course it can be much more exciting to discover yourself with a new person. However, just as we ourselves change, evolve, and grow as human beings every day, so do our partners. Try to see him with new eyes, try different things, and also ask yourself what you appreciate about the familiar and really get "into that." If all else fails, fake it til ya make it. It will pass.
 
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