Hi, I’ve been lurking for a few days and I think there are honest, thought provoking people on this forum. As my title states I want to come out to my husband, lets call him Ollie, about opening our marriage. I’ve been reading and digesting what polyamory is for about 8 months now and I want to work towards living this way. He has recently revealed a sexual detail about himself to me and it was difficult for him to do (really not a big deal to me). I have feared that revealing my poly interests to him would mean certain implosion of our marriage but his honesty with me makes me feel like it may not be so bad. At times he knows me better than I give him credit for and my poly wishes shouldn’t be a total shock. I more so think he may feel hurt and inadequate. There is no one else waiting for me and I have no intentions on pursuing anyone right now. I just need to get this off my chest with him. He is my bestfriend and knows all of my secrets but this. He is currently gone for business for a few days and I’d like to talk with him once he gets home if I don’t completely wimp out.
As far as the health of our relationship is, we are mostly doing very well. We do have a reoccurring set of feelings and conversations about how he feels he is disappointing me by not living up to some of my expectations. This generally happens once he leaves for a trip and I experience a kind of emotional let down (think lactation). These expectations deal with ambition and proactively handling things in our lives. I on the other hand feel overworked and perpetually exhausted as if I can never drop the ball on anything. We’ve recently gone through another cycle of this.
I guess I’m hoping for words of encouragement, maybe some perspective or advice from someone who started out with a closed marriage.
Should I wait for a better time? (Like once we resolve this reoccurring cycle, if ever) I think every relationship has it’s own ebb and flow of issues so will there ever really be an ideal time?
Any input is helpful
As far as the health of our relationship is, we are mostly doing very well. We do have a reoccurring set of feelings and conversations about how he feels he is disappointing me by not living up to some of my expectations. This generally happens once he leaves for a trip and I experience a kind of emotional let down (think lactation). These expectations deal with ambition and proactively handling things in our lives. I on the other hand feel overworked and perpetually exhausted as if I can never drop the ball on anything. We’ve recently gone through another cycle of this.
I guess I’m hoping for words of encouragement, maybe some perspective or advice from someone who started out with a closed marriage.
Should I wait for a better time? (Like once we resolve this reoccurring cycle, if ever) I think every relationship has it’s own ebb and flow of issues so will there ever really be an ideal time?
Any input is helpful