soulseeker
New member
My situation:
A married friend invited sex a year ago. He has been married for 16 years. We have been friends for as long, less 1-2 months. There has always been mental, emotional, and spiritual (philosophical) intimacy between us. We share many passions and interests and have shared many joint activities and enterprises over the years. We explored some sexual intimacy last year, but sex itself was tabled at that time. Emotional intimacy deepened over the coming months. At same time, I began to develop emotional intimacy with his wife and a fondness for their two children. She (to my knowledge) is not aware of the closeness between her husband and me. I realized at some point, I was emotionally attracted to her as well as to my friend, her husband.
Past conversations with my friend have revealed that we share an openness to polygamy and polyamory. He claims he and his wife considered such a relationship with a third partner many years ago, but now that they have children, have concerns that such an arrangement would be confusing to the children.
The three of us have shared meals occasionally together over the years, confided secrets, and supported one another during challenging times. There has also been a vacancy in the marriage since the children arrived. The couple sleeps in separate rooms. My understanding is that emotional and sexual intimacy has been absent for years, and the arrangement has become more one of friendship and economics. They have tried marriage counseling without restoration of intimacy. My friend has told me that I am thought of by them “as family”. I provide both with the emotional intimacy they no longer have together and am willing to extend physical intimacy also, if invited, as well as support, shared resources, services, etc.
I feel a sincere love for my friend and his wife and would like to approach them about a polyamorous relationship. Ultimately, I would like to be in a marriage with them, I think. My friend seems to defer to his wife’s decision making, so it is she I feel I must approach. At this time, however, I am not as close to her as I am to my friend. I would like to get closer to her.
Any suggestions as to how to approach the idea of a triad with her?
Thanks kindly.
A married friend invited sex a year ago. He has been married for 16 years. We have been friends for as long, less 1-2 months. There has always been mental, emotional, and spiritual (philosophical) intimacy between us. We share many passions and interests and have shared many joint activities and enterprises over the years. We explored some sexual intimacy last year, but sex itself was tabled at that time. Emotional intimacy deepened over the coming months. At same time, I began to develop emotional intimacy with his wife and a fondness for their two children. She (to my knowledge) is not aware of the closeness between her husband and me. I realized at some point, I was emotionally attracted to her as well as to my friend, her husband.
Past conversations with my friend have revealed that we share an openness to polygamy and polyamory. He claims he and his wife considered such a relationship with a third partner many years ago, but now that they have children, have concerns that such an arrangement would be confusing to the children.
The three of us have shared meals occasionally together over the years, confided secrets, and supported one another during challenging times. There has also been a vacancy in the marriage since the children arrived. The couple sleeps in separate rooms. My understanding is that emotional and sexual intimacy has been absent for years, and the arrangement has become more one of friendship and economics. They have tried marriage counseling without restoration of intimacy. My friend has told me that I am thought of by them “as family”. I provide both with the emotional intimacy they no longer have together and am willing to extend physical intimacy also, if invited, as well as support, shared resources, services, etc.
I feel a sincere love for my friend and his wife and would like to approach them about a polyamorous relationship. Ultimately, I would like to be in a marriage with them, I think. My friend seems to defer to his wife’s decision making, so it is she I feel I must approach. At this time, however, I am not as close to her as I am to my friend. I would like to get closer to her.
Any suggestions as to how to approach the idea of a triad with her?
Thanks kindly.