Relatively new poster, but long time lurker in these parts. I did a search for a discussion of Tinder and didn't get many hits - just some blog type posts about how people have met other people on Tinder.
My questions really revolve around using Tinder and other dating apps in an ethical manner. For example, on OKC I can straight away let people know I'm in a committed open relationship. So, if I contact them and they respond, the assumption I make is that they are OK with that.
On Tinder, it's different. Yes, I can put something in my description about being polyamorous, but I have found that my matches increase dramatically when I have no description AT ALL. In other words, the mystery combined with the way I look apparently hooks more people than if I type something.
So, given that Tinder is generally considered a "hook up" app (not at all my experience, by the way - seems most women on there say "not looking for hook-ups"), do I need to disclose I'm in a committed polyamorous relationship? Maybe if it goes on much further than a date or two? Or do I need to disclose this information BEFORE any sexy times happen?
I want to be ethical, but it's hard to know if the woman I'm out with is really just looking for a hook up and doesn't care what my situation is or not (for the record, even if they are just looking to hook up - they always claim they are not!). It's sort of like meeting someone at a bar and having a one night stand. In those situations, I don't feel like I need to say anything about my situation because it's completely irrelevant.
What are your thoughts? Is the presumption on Tinder that all people are just there to hook up (unless otherwise specified), or is there an assumption that even if willing to hook up, you should at least be available for a more conventional relationship if things go that route?
My questions really revolve around using Tinder and other dating apps in an ethical manner. For example, on OKC I can straight away let people know I'm in a committed open relationship. So, if I contact them and they respond, the assumption I make is that they are OK with that.
On Tinder, it's different. Yes, I can put something in my description about being polyamorous, but I have found that my matches increase dramatically when I have no description AT ALL. In other words, the mystery combined with the way I look apparently hooks more people than if I type something.
So, given that Tinder is generally considered a "hook up" app (not at all my experience, by the way - seems most women on there say "not looking for hook-ups"), do I need to disclose I'm in a committed polyamorous relationship? Maybe if it goes on much further than a date or two? Or do I need to disclose this information BEFORE any sexy times happen?
I want to be ethical, but it's hard to know if the woman I'm out with is really just looking for a hook up and doesn't care what my situation is or not (for the record, even if they are just looking to hook up - they always claim they are not!). It's sort of like meeting someone at a bar and having a one night stand. In those situations, I don't feel like I need to say anything about my situation because it's completely irrelevant.
What are your thoughts? Is the presumption on Tinder that all people are just there to hook up (unless otherwise specified), or is there an assumption that even if willing to hook up, you should at least be available for a more conventional relationship if things go that route?
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