No, they're all nicknames.
Guitarist's stuff with Magical has resolved in a satisfactory way for him. They're going to remain friends, though her whole situation is fraught with drama. Guitarist is planning on going over there tonight for his usual games night stuff. I'm worried that because Magical decided to open a can of worms with NewCowgirlfriend there that she's the kind of person who only feels safe starting difficult conversationswith witnesses around, so she might decide to break up with Bee on a game night, leading to intense awkwardness for Guitarist. I hope that's just me over-extrapolating the data, though.
He's also resolved to be more socially active with his friends, from realizing how isolated Magical is right now, which I think will be good for him. As long as he doesn't let his music and house stuff slide. I feel really good about supporting him creatively and having him take care of the house work stuff. I feel much less great when I think about him abandoning all progress on his album or the yard work and anything but keeping up with the dishes because he can reliably only do one thing a day, and if that thing is socialize with someone somewhere else, where does it leave our agreements about the house work? I don't feel that it's fair to me to be both the person who works full time and the person who does the housework.
I get all kinds of jealous feelings (I wish someone else would pay the bills so I could write full time!) and used feelings (am I just a meal ticket, here?) around our arrangement. The last one is a bunch of patriarchy bullshit, but it still takes energy to struggle with that kind of stuff, even when you know it's wrong.
Ultimately, I think pre-judging the situation is not be fair to him and I should just see how it pans out.
In other poly news, Thrash finally came out on Saturday. He was over an hour late, as usual, but it was good to see him!
Though our conversation did wander into territories that I wish it hadn't. We were talking about my breakup with Raven, and what happened there, and he asked if I could date him. Like, if Guitarist would be okay with that (looooool monogamous people and their relationship ownership stuff is so foreign to me these days). So I told him that I could, I have an LDR with a guy, I mostly date women because I mostly like female relationship energy.
Thinking about it, both Guitarist and Flame are sweet, sensitive guys. I'd say they both have some strong feminine traits that I find very appealing. Anyway.
He asked if I'd consider dating him. So I told him that I don't do casual flings or relationships with monogamous people, because I don't want to get very attached and then get thrown over when something "better" comes along.
I think the reason I don't do friends with benefits, even though I end up attracted to most of my friends, is that I get way too emotionally attached and REALLY enjoy those benefits. And then they would have to end when my (mono) friends find their next escalator partner.
That might happen with Flame. But I know that with him, our emotional intimacy has survived quite a few relationships on his end. I know I'd be hurt, but I also know we wouldn't be awkward and keeping our friendship would be worth getting over myself. Anyway, I'm digressing again.
Thrash asked me if he could kiss me, to which I responded "no but thank you so much for asking." Despite my saying no, I got the stomach flutter attraction feelings and I did really want to kiss him. It just would not have been a good idea without talking about things way more, first. And without me making a couple of decisions. Even if he decided poly might be for him... he's so not punctual. Which results in me actually seeing him when scheduled feeling more like a pleasant surprise. Which isn't what I like in relationships.
I sent Thrash links to a couple polyamory sites and haven't heard back. So maybe that will resolve without me having to decide if I want a second long-distance thing. I think I would be fine with it, with the right kind of attentive, responsible person. I don't think Thrash is that person though.
Score one for the logic brain, I suppose. Poly is hard in this way, where there is no reason I COULDN'T have a fling with someone like Thrash, a long-term friend who hits all my demisexual buttons. Except emotionally, it wouldn't be the right choice for me, without some very clear negotiations of expectations and so on in advance. So it wouldn't be a fling after all.