GirlFromTexlahoma
New member
" 'It's a Texlahoma story,' she says, much to our pleasure, for Texlahoma is a mythic world we created in which to set many of our stories."
- Douglas Coupland, Generation X
This blog is a place for me to ponder polyamory - both the day to day ups and downs and the meaning of the larger concepts. Comments, discussion, opinions, support, arguments, and/or criticisms are all welcome
To get the boring backstory out of the way...
My husband Andy and I met in college and have been together ever since. We officially opened our relationship a few years ago, mostly because we each had sexual interests in which the other had zero interest. Like a lot of couples we started with the "casual sex only, no feelings" rule. That lasted about two months We independently came to the same conclusion - we don't want to bother having sex with people we don't care about, it's not worthwhile or enjoyable for either of us.
We've had our issues - Andy experienced a lot of jealousy in the beginning, mostly because I did a shitty job of handling NRE feelings. I have struggled with anxiety as Andy asks to take person after person off our "messy person/do not date" list. But we talk it through. And we listen. I feel like our relationship is stronger now than it ever has been.
I've always thought of myself as being in an open relationship - polyamory is not something I've thought about until very recently. I'm still not sure if it's where I fit on the non monogamy spectrum
The funny thing is, by a lot of people's definition of polyamory, Andy and I have been in a poly relationship from the beginning. He and his best friend Stephanie have been each other's "person" for over 20 years, way longer than he's known me.
They don't have a sexual relationship. (Well, not that I know of, anyway I've told him I'm 100% ok with him having sex with her... though it took me a long time to get there... and that he doesn't need to check in with me or even tell me if it happens.) Stephanie has a history of sexual abuse and not-so-healthy sexual relationships, from what I understand they both feel sex would risk everything else they have. And they have a lot -a romantic friendship, a lifelong commitment to their partnership, and a deep love for each other. She functions in our life a co-primary. Andy is her standing plus-one for everything, she's his plus one half the time...they travel together, he sleeps at her house often... They take care of each other whenever someone is sick or going through a tough time.
As for me... I've had great FWBs. I'm currently seeing a guy who is amazing, and could be way more. But I'm struggling with the transition. And trying to figure out why it's so damn hard for me.
- Douglas Coupland, Generation X
This blog is a place for me to ponder polyamory - both the day to day ups and downs and the meaning of the larger concepts. Comments, discussion, opinions, support, arguments, and/or criticisms are all welcome
To get the boring backstory out of the way...
My husband Andy and I met in college and have been together ever since. We officially opened our relationship a few years ago, mostly because we each had sexual interests in which the other had zero interest. Like a lot of couples we started with the "casual sex only, no feelings" rule. That lasted about two months We independently came to the same conclusion - we don't want to bother having sex with people we don't care about, it's not worthwhile or enjoyable for either of us.
We've had our issues - Andy experienced a lot of jealousy in the beginning, mostly because I did a shitty job of handling NRE feelings. I have struggled with anxiety as Andy asks to take person after person off our "messy person/do not date" list. But we talk it through. And we listen. I feel like our relationship is stronger now than it ever has been.
I've always thought of myself as being in an open relationship - polyamory is not something I've thought about until very recently. I'm still not sure if it's where I fit on the non monogamy spectrum
The funny thing is, by a lot of people's definition of polyamory, Andy and I have been in a poly relationship from the beginning. He and his best friend Stephanie have been each other's "person" for over 20 years, way longer than he's known me.
They don't have a sexual relationship. (Well, not that I know of, anyway I've told him I'm 100% ok with him having sex with her... though it took me a long time to get there... and that he doesn't need to check in with me or even tell me if it happens.) Stephanie has a history of sexual abuse and not-so-healthy sexual relationships, from what I understand they both feel sex would risk everything else they have. And they have a lot -a romantic friendship, a lifelong commitment to their partnership, and a deep love for each other. She functions in our life a co-primary. Andy is her standing plus-one for everything, she's his plus one half the time...they travel together, he sleeps at her house often... They take care of each other whenever someone is sick or going through a tough time.
As for me... I've had great FWBs. I'm currently seeing a guy who is amazing, and could be way more. But I'm struggling with the transition. And trying to figure out why it's so damn hard for me.