Loving life again!

NSAKS

New member
So I’ve been married for sixteen years last month. My wife and I decided to try the poly lifestyle a little over a month ago, maybe two, and right now it is great! I was my wife’s first everything so she had never really experienced those dating years. She also took care of me for several years after I was injured in Iraq. I know I took a lot from her through all that and over the years she lost some of her zest for life I think.

Anyway, we have never had anything in common other than we both love each other deeply. I am a very active person, I hike and fish, love photography and am an artist by trade and love astronomy. I’m curious about everything in the world, but we never did anything together as she is just content with living, but I’m not. I felt like an empty house for a long time over this and never could quite pinpoint what would make it better until I brought up poly to her.

When I did bring it up that first week or two was difficult talking about it. She was not very receptive to the idea at first but she committed to try it and now that she has been on a couple dates she is completely on board and having fun. That zest for life is back now and for both of us.

I love watching her getting excited talking to someone or getting ready to go out with the guy she is seeing. We talk more, laugh more, sex has gone from great to mind blowing and we still maintain 100% trust and honesty with each other. She sees me light up when I talk to or go to see my girlfriend and I can see it makes her happy seeing me happy as well.

That first week or two I went on a few dates here and there and then met a woman who has nearly the exact same passions that I do. We have been seeing each other for about a month now and while we have had a couple “new relationship” bumps here and there we are doing wonderful. I know the NRE between us is very strong between us right now but we are settling into this now and it is amazing.

I finally feel alive again having someone to share these things with who wants to be with me while we do them, and it’s like I have met a female version of me. I honestly feel like the luckiest man on the planet to be able to have two people in my life who I care about and to have two wonderful women in my life who care so much about me. Not only that but it all seems to flow quite naturally and just feels right.

We are all still trying to get our rhythm on this, making time for each other’s new relationships but it has been eye opening and wonderful. Don’t get me wrong, we have had some rough patches and I’m sure we will have more, but life feels so right now. My wife is getting that attention of being pursued and living those years she lost while married to me and loving it. I see her smile more and I’m actually smiling again for the first time in years.

Now we are totally new at this and everything is still fresh but I feel all of my needs are being met and I’m having a blast meeting both of their needs as well. I’m busy, active, and happy and so is my wife. We have came out to a few friends and they seem to all be very supportive and understanding. We don’t plan on telling our families any time soon and we have three kids who are getting old enough to see how different we are acting now so eventually we will have to tell them, I’m just not sure on how that will go or how to do it, but we’re learning.

Before starting this I read the book “Opening Up” and now my wife is reading it as well. It has helped a lot in understanding how to proceed and deal with things. I just bought “The Ethical Slut” to read next. The biggest “helps” that I’ve gotten is learning compersion. Not that I didn’t feel it before, but now I know what it is and why it’s important.

I just wanted to say that I love this lifestyle and I’m so glad we decided to do it.
 
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