Smelling the flowers

3 Days 22 Hours

Bulletproof coffee (BPC) is delicious, but probably not my friend. LOL. Holy crap talk about a boatload of caffeine. I drank about 12-14 ounces of it on Sunday and it pretty much ruined my day. Jittery to the point of feeling altered. I hate feeling altered. Bond's wife (at the house visiting Wil) explained that coffee has about 8 x's the amount of caffeine as Coca-cola, which I used to drink.

Our weekend was busy, and I really derailed myself with the BPC, so I feel way behind and unorganized this week. I was tempted to stay home from work today to cook and relax, and get my bearings again. I think as I get older I'm more of an introvert than I once was, or maybe it's just that I didn't recognize it when I was younger. But staying home means sharing my space with Golden and that's not all that relaxing, so I went to work. Next week I'll be fighting to get myself out the door in the mornings.

My grandson was not feeling back to normal until Sunday, poor kid. He did go for a haircut on Saturday when I took S3 for one. And the stylist found a wood tick! Ugh. It didn't look like it had been attached terribly long, but it had to have been since Friday afternoon, because he hadn't left the house since I picked him up.

Sunday Bond's wife came over to visit Wil. I had a friend reach out, so I invited her over, too. I attempted to make muffins while buzzed on BPC, which meant instead of making 12 muffins, I had to make 24, because I made the first batch the wrong flavor. Sometimes I wonder where I've checked my brain, because I need to go back and claim it.

S2 went home with his mom when she left in the early afternoon. We managed to take my grandson, S2, and Beanie to a trampoline gym before I took my grandson back. Hopefully that made up for S3 and Beanie not wanting to play outside once the rain stopped.

It's been gray here for days on end. I need some sunshine!
 
The moving day is so close now! did you ever find resolution on the couch and also "pizza night" on the moving day?

I'm sorry about the coffee :S I also am sensitive to these things, so I feel ya. Is BPC an extra strong type of coffee? I've not heard of it before!
 
3 Days 0 Hours

The moving day is so close now! did you ever find resolution on the couch and also "pizza night" on the moving day?

Funny you ask. B brought this up last night, too. He hasn't asked about it again. As we left it I had said that I wasn't ready to say yes, so it's either a no, or he could ask again, but he hasn't. The ironic thing is that he hasn't had a positive response to his call for help moving, so as far as I know it's us and one former work mate that will be his moving crew. Bond and I can't eat pizza on keto unless we make a homemade one or just eat the toppings off of a regular one. I have a feeling that because of the poor response to his moving day event that he's not planning on having a pizza and games night.

I'm sorry about the coffee :S I also am sensitive to these things, so I feel ya. Is BPC an extra strong type of coffee? I've not heard of it before!

It was just slow brewed coffee, but coffee overall has a higher caffeine level than cola. If you're a coffee drinker, then BPC is delicious and a great meal replacement. You do need to blend it to get all the fats incorporated. We use our Magic Bullet. There are lots of recipes on the net. Here is one:
Bulletproof Coffee I added two Sucra drops to sweeten it plus a sprinkle of cinnamon.

If anyone is interested in a super easy, tasty, and low carb soup check out this recipe. Anti-inflammatory Egg Drop Soup It went together super quick. Bond chopped while I measured spices and got things underway. We brought all of the ingredients over to B's and cooked for her, because she'd had a hella bad day. It was done in a flash. Both B and Bond were surprised when I told them to grab bowls because it was ready.
 
1 Day 20 Hours

The sand is almost emptied out of the hourglass!

Golden has been focused on packing, which is rather remarkable considering his ADHD brain. He has things staged, color-coordinated, and ready. I checked his Facebook moving event and he has 7 people who have accepted his call for help. I think it'll go quickly.

Bond agreed to let him take the paintings that Naya made that have been hanging in his bedroom. They weren't favorites of his and Naya doesn't want them, so he is letting Golden take them. I think he may have packed a bag chair of mine, but I really don't care. I've had them for ages, so maybe it's time for new ones. We're also sending our old pots and pans with him. They won't work on the induction cooktop and most of them are miserable old things, but it'll help him out.

We need to get busy painting and then it'll be time for new carpet in the lower level. The linoleum in the bathroom is discolored, so it'll be a good time to replace that, too.

Once we have an idea of how long these updates will take us, we'll make plans with Bond's mother for her visit.

Tonight I'm getting my hair done, and I believe Bond and B are meeting at the Union for beers. I hope so, because she has seemed distant this week. It seems that much of her time is spent with the Therapist. I wonder if she's experiencing NRE. Ever since they had it out and he begged her to give him another chance they've been seeing a lot of one another. I hope that they build a great relationship, but I miss her. When we saw her Tuesday night she was crabby because her mother overdrafted her checking account by $500 and expected B to come to her rescue. She rescued her last month, too. It's something she can't afford and it is super stressful.

The sun is shining! We've had gloomy skies for the past week. It gets old, ya'all! I wish I wasn't at work so I could be outside. Just having sunny skies outside the window helps. Yay, sunshine!

Ooooh, oooh, oh! I got summoned for Federal jury duty. On call for the month of August. I hope I get picked. I've never been summoned before, so this is rather exciting. Bond is envious as is my brother's ex-wife.
 
0 Days 23 Hours 54 Min

I cannot tell you how much I hate going to work. I am so burned out on this job. Too many years have gone by where they did not send me to training and I feel overwhelmed with everything now. I feel like I don't know the things I should know. It feels like shit and I just want to escape. I'm not sure if it's menopause or the effects of the internet, or ADD, or what, but I cannot concentrate. I cannot get myself to read the stuff I need to read, or to stick to the things I should be doing - even when I find them interesting. I'm ready to make a doctor's appointment to see if ADD medication would be beneficial. I spend so many hours just wishing my work life were different. I want to be self-employed or just a domestic goddess. I could totally rock the domestic goddess role. Instead I spend 40 hours at work, somewhat working, and then bust ass when I get home. I'm exhausted.

I'm saddled with debt and try as hard as I can I don't feel like I'm making a hella lot of headway on getting it gone. Some days I want to sell the house that Twitch and I own. My portion of the profit would probably wipe most of my debt out, but it wouldn't totally cover the student loans I have for the boys. But if we keep it a few more years, then we'll have a lot more equity in it (15 year mortgage) and I'll have continued to whittle down my CC debt, my car loan will be done in 3 years, and it'll be x number of years less student loan payments.

My other dream is that I cut my work hours to 3 days/week. I need less of IT work and more time to do the things at home that need to be done.

What I'd truly love is to be able to start up a hydroponic freight farm. It would take about 20 hours/week to maintain, plus distributing produce, but it would be a feel-good environment and I'd be in and out, going places.

All these dreams and a heavy oppressive ache because I feel chained to my current job, locked in by debt. I really need my kids to become less dependent on me.
 
We're Golden-free! We spent most of Saturday helping him move. It took two loads with the U-Haul truck. I think it was a 12' or 15' truck, not terribly big. I'm not sure how he and his son managed to find places to sleep that first night, because it was so full we couldn't bring everything inside. He would have had to unload a good portion of the stuff in his bedroom in order to set up his bed. He had us lean his mattress against the side of the building. We had to leave to pick up the groceries I had ordered the day before. As it was, we only had 30 minutes to spare before the three hour pick up window would have ended. The boys were a lot of help with unloading the truck both times. We had to park quite a distance away from his apartment and haul things from there.

I shouldn't worry about how he is doing getting settled into his new space. He and his son went shopping at a renaissance store on Sunday, and yesterday he asked if we wanted to go rock climbing. I can't imagine going and doing things like that when the environment I'm living in is in chaos. My mind wouldn't rest and it would upset my whole world.

Sunday we had a cookout at B's. The Therapist grilled chicken, and left off bar-b-que sauce on some for Bond and me. I made an angel food cake and whipped cream that we served with lightly-sugared strawberries. That everyone seemed to enjoy. Bond and I watched, but didn't eat that due to the sugar/carbs. I also brought a creamed fried cabbage that was loaded with bacon that people loved. I really love my low carb high fat cookbook.

Yesterday we mowed the lawn. It needed it desperately. Golden had mowed the front and one side, and his son had mowed part of the backyard, but other than that it hasn't been mowed this season. The upper terrace is tree-covered, so it doesn't really grow grass. It's more of a combination of wild mustard, violets, and unfortunately, itching nettle over by the raspberries. :(

I managed to pull a big nettle into part of the housing on the weed whip and killed it. :( Hopefully Bond will be able to fix it. Meanwhile, he hit a stump that was hidden in the upper terrace and he spent hours taking apart the mower to see if he could fix it. Which he did, but the belt popped off again when he hit thick grass, so I think it may be time for a new mower. It's just a little bitty electric mower that he paid $80 for. If we get a new one, I'm hoping it'll be a bit wider so a pass with it accomplishes more than with the current one. So, the yard is mostly done, but not completely.

All of this was interspersed with setting up our new aquarium. We tried to buy plants for it last night, but the store was closed for the holiday. We went over to Petsmart and bought filters for the water filtration system. They wanted $12 more than Amazon, but they agreed to do price match, so that was cool. What wasn't cool was the state of their tanks. Their snails are so sick. There are empty shells in the bottom of the tanks from ones that have died. One tank had a bunch of dead neon tetras. It's inhumane. :(

All three of the boys have mentioned how quiet the house is now with Golden and his kids moved out. They are liking how chill it is.

Golden dropped off my debit card and picked up miscellaneous stuff, like leaves to his table this morning.

I keep thinking about this; when we left Golden's apartment he never came out to say good-bye, so there wasn't any closure of sorts. Bond mentioned it later that Golden hadn't even said, "Thanks for letting me live with you for the past two-and-a-half years." And that's what I keep thinking about, the lack of a thank you or verbal appreciation for everything. I want that for Bond's sake.
 
We're Golden-free!

Yay! When I moved in with Fly, he had roommates and I just remember how free it felt when they moved out. We really grew as a couple in the space they left behind. Anyway, congrats on having your house to yourselves! :)
 
Yay! When I moved in with Fly, he had roommates and I just remember how free it felt when they moved out. We really grew as a couple in the space they left behind. Anyway, congrats on having your house to yourselves! :)

Thanks! It does feel freeing. :)
 
Life at The Beach (nickname for our house) has been so quiet and peaceful this past week. I played hooky from work Thursday and Friday and spent it cleaning and cooking. I got Bond to finish the command center in the kitchen and I'm really happy with it. Thursday we put the cork-board up on the back interior when he came home at noon for lunch and a nooner. I popped over to Home Goods in the late afternoon to buy a three basket mail holder to hang on the side of the interior cabinet, and we got it hung up before he left for work on Friday. Thursday evening we met B and her kids at the Union, so we hadn't time to get it done then. Yesterday I discovered that a metal print that friends gave us that says, "Life is Great at the Beach" would work for a magnetic board, so I put that up opposite on the opposite side from the mail holder. I dug out the magnetic key holders I had stashed and stuck them to the inside of one of the doors. Now all I need to get are organizational boxes with lids for the top shelves and we can consider ourselves moved into the cabinet finally. Only took us since February!

Bond bugged out of work a couple of hours early yesterday and we went shopping for blinds. We haven't put anything in the large kitchen window yet and although we are getting use to being in a fishbowl in there it can be rather jarring for passersby I imagine. Instead of blinds I think we are going to end up with a window film that will cut UV and shade the interior and is rather reflective from the outside (more so during daylight). I am hoping Bond will be open to having the patio door and sidelight window at the opposite end of the kitchen done, too. I mentioned that we should do the two large patio doors and the two sidelight windows in the sun room, and he said kind of agreed, but I don't know if he'll actually do it when it comes down to it. I believe it would pay for itself over time by blocking heat. It gets quite hot in there in the summer and I'm sure it causes the AC to run more, although Bond isn't one to really cool the house down.

This morning we took the kids to Wonder Woman. I really enjoyed it and I'm really pleased that they created a movie with a female lead. I hope it does well at the box office.

We've been super lazy all day, but I'm starting to get antsy and a headache from not doing much of anything. I feel like we haven't done anything, but I did make snello for the snails and we did some grocery shopping. I'm just used to go go going all day long, I guess.

Speaking of snello, our new Blendtec blender arrived yesterday and I used it for the first time to pulverize the greens (Swiss chard, romaine, and kale) for the snello. OMG, it's a work horse! Amazing machine.

I guess I should think about what to make for dinner. I don't really want to cook, but oh, well. On the other hand, it would be more fun to run to Target for those organizational boxes for the command center...:)
 
We made a quick run to Target for the boxes, but struck out. BB&B is next door, so we walked over there, but again no luck. I think what I am envisioning are photo boxes. I need to search on Amazon to see if I can find some.

I may have had a breakthrough with keto this weekend. Not in that I am finally adhering to keto foods, because that has never been an issue, but in that I am fat-adapted and I feel like I can go hours without eating. It's kind of amazing. I have had anxiety about going hungry for so long that I don't know when it first began. For example, I worry that if I don't eat at noon when I'm at work, that I'll have to skip lunch due to something cropping up like a meeting, even though meetings are scheduled for the most part and I can pick my lunch time. I feel stress about leaving the house to run errands if I don't fuel up before walking out the door. I have a habit of grabbing a string cheese or turkey meat stick beforehand just to assuage my anxiety. This means that I often eat when I'm not truly hungry. But after having four days at home and consciously addressing my underlying anxiety I had a great weekend, especially yesterday. I was hungry while watching TV late Saturday night, but I didn't eat anything. By the time we went to bed I wasn't hungry anymore. I wasn't hungry when I woke either. Around 10:00 am I tried Bulletproof Coffee again, but this time I showed some moderation and only drank about 8-10 oz. Around 2:30 pm I was hungry, so I ate the last of the broccoli salad - about 3/4 of a cup, a couple of pieces of bacon, and 1/2 cup of mocha fluff (mascarpone & creme fraiche). Dinner was at 7 pm and that consisted of a small baked mayo-parmesan chicken breast and roasted radishes, followed by a small slice of carrot cake cheesecake around 8 pm. The scale was down 1.8 lbs this morning.

If you're not used to keto, these foods may sound crazy because they are so high calorie. But that's the point of keto; you eat high fat, because it sustains you and your body burns fat instead of glucose for energy.

So all that in itself is amazing, but something else has been happening that I think is even more spectacular - my nerve pain is so minimal. I don't understand what's responsible. I quit taking gabapentin this past week, so my results are the opposite of what I was anticipating.

I think it's a combination of things. 1.) keto is a low inflammatory diet, 2.) I was off of work and not sitting for hours on end. I was on my feet almost nonstop, which normally would cause an increase in pain, but the opposite happened. Now that I'm back to work I am anxious to see if things revert. I think I also drank less sparkling water. That is likely just coincidental.

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We've been expecting Golden to come by the house to clean like he said he was going to, and also to pick some things up and bring some things back, but he was a no-show even after seeing Bond yesterday at Beatdown in the park and telling Bond that he was coming over after dropping the maps off and doing a few things at the apartment. Doesn't really matter now, because I couldn't take it any longer, so I vacuumed and wiped down the mopboard in his bedroom and the hallway while Bond was at Beatdown.

I'd really like for Bond to use some of his vacation time to paint that bedroom before our party on the 17th. Bea is coming to the party, and she and Bond will be using the guest room (Golden's old room). I'm not sure if we'll be able to have the new carpet in by then, but we could have it painted. His mother is also visiting us this summer and I'd love for those things to be done first, although they don't really have to be, it would just be nice to have them done.

B may come over for some loving tonight. I hope she does. We're feeling very disconnected from her lately. We haven't been intimate in several weeks, because of an illness one week and a bad day the other. Bond is really feeling the disconnect keenly. It's been a big topic of discussion all weekend.
 
Golden came by the house Monday night. He had his son and a friend of his son's with him. This friend has been over a number of times. I was standing by the kitchen sink when they pulled up and I watched the boys get out of the car and then the friend decided to sit in the shrubs. WTF?! What is it about Golden's kids and their friends that they have no regard for anything? Those shrubs have been broken before by his kids jumping on them. I called out the window asking him to please get out of the shrubs and then Golden started telling them to get out of them. Sheesh.

Overall, everything went well. I made him take his little TV to dispose of it so we didn't have to. Bond was embarrassed he told me later that I made Golden take it, but it's his and he can drop it off at Best Buy himself, or wherever. Not our problem. I had already found people willing to take his box spring and kids bike. Bond told him he could take the mat from the bathroom his old bathroom, because it was ruined (due to hair bleach - that Golden spilled). Golden pulled out his phone and put in "bathroom rug" and asked Bond if he wanted the same kind. We sent some sundries that we aren't likely to eat now that we're eating ketogenic, and some other things we thought he could use, like an extra mop. We stood around and talked about his new job he'll be starting on Monday of next week and how crazy the interview process had been. I think he's lucky that he knew the guys doing the hiring and had actually worked with some of them before at another company in the early days before they started their own company, so he was able to get in touch with them following the interview to supply them with his portfolio to pass around and offer to be hired as a contractor. I think that's what got him the job. The interview itself was kind of wonky, because the headhunter who set the meeting up was on Eastern time and Golden went to the meeting at the appointed time here in Central time, but the guy who did the interview was a week off, so he wasn't ready at all and hadn't set things up for him to interview with multiple people. In the end, he was hired as a contractor LTE, and they are willing to extend the contract after the two months ends. They are also willing to work with him and his school schedule, so that's cool.

After talking about his new job I asked him if he had the hair dyeing bowls, because they were missing when we went to dye Bond's hair. (Bond has had these bowls for 20 years). Golden was like, "Oh, yeah, I have one of them." He'll be returning it. I swear he just thinks he can take things because he likes them, regardless of whether or not they are his.

Golden asked me if he still needed to come clean, or if I had gotten everything. I told him that the bathroom still needed to be scrubbed and he was like, "Oh, yeah. Okay. I'll get that done this week."

So, in the end when he left Monday night we were feeling good and like we had ended things on a good note.

Today he sent us a text that said, "My week has been crazy...can I come by next week to clean the downstairs bathroom and bedrooms?"

I checked his calendar (that he still has shared with us) and tonight he has a date with one gf, and tomorrow he and his son go visit another gf for the weekend, returning Sunday. Monday he is starting his new job and seeing a third gf that night, which leaves Tuesday and Wednesday and then he leaves the next afternoon for camping.

I told him that it's not the best for us, because we need to get the rooms set up because we are expecting guests. (We're having a party on the 17th and Bea is staying over, so we need to set up the guest room for her and Bond.) He hasn't responded. I wonder if he's waiting for Bond to chime in with his opinion first. He's so damn lazy and so poor at scheduling his time that I am pretty positive he's counting on us doing the cleaning if he waits long enough. What a taker! I seriously don't believe that he'd show up next Tuesday or Wednesday to clean.

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Last night was date night with B. We cooked at our house, ate on the patio and talked for a long time in the evening dusk, before moving things to the bedroom. Because we're out of personal wipes we introduced her to the wonders of the bidet, which was pretty hilarious. Sex was absolutely delicious. We finally got that connection we've been missing. :) She also confirmed that she'll stay over with me the night of the party. Woot!

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Yesterday for a hot minute I reactivated my OKC profile. I had just read Bluebird's post about wanting to find someone for FWB-style relationship and I was like, oh, yeah, that would be fun again to have someone like that. But then I reconsidered. It's so much work and I usually don't care to give my time to someone other than Bond, so I closed it down again. Besides, once I passed 50 it's been like being nearly invisible on there. I am guessing that men set their searches for 49 and younger, unless they are in their 60's.

Last night I was musing to myself that I don't want to meet new guys, but maybe I could recycle some of the old ones, three came to mind, including Thad. He sent me a rash of IM's a couple of weeks ago saying how much he missed me and how he wished things hadn't ended badly between us. He was opening the door to start something back up, but I wasn't taking the bait.

Sex with him was very enjoyable - if he wasn't too stoned. This morning he passed me on my way into work and he honked and waved. I caught sight of his crazy long hair and beard. Enough said. I cannot handle that shit. LOL

The other two guys I just crossed off the list, too. One has a crazy wife who isn't medicated and the other is too careless with condom use. I can't risk my health or that of my partners on a fun lay, so he's off the list, too.
 
Guess who is coming to clean the bathroom this morning! I told him that the bedrooms don't really need much and he clarified that he wants to fix the wall in the kids' room where he attempted to hang a wire closet shelf (what a thing to try to put on a bedroom wall!) So, that explains why he thought he needed more time. He has already badly plastered over the holes in the drywall, so I don't know what he thinks he'll do next. Maybe sand them down? I hope he doesn't touch the ones in his old bedroom, because Bond will do a much better job at it than he will.

I'm glad he's tackling the bathroom, because the bathtub has a scum ring. Ugh.

Tonight I have to pick up the grocery order I placed yesterday and then I think we're going to the Night Market. We went to the first one a couple of weeks ago and I think they'll keep improving. They have added more vendors, so that is a good sign. Tomorrow night we're going to the Parade of Homes that B's ex has a part in. We went last year and it was quite a bit of fun, even though we got stuck in one of the houses for a long time when a huge storm went through. And the forecast has thunderstorms for tomorrow night...lol. Oh, well, it'll be fun. Bond is picking up dinner for the kids and we'll be out the door by 6 PM, as soon as I get home. Saturday and Sunday one of my favorite festivals will be in full swing. It's supposed to as hot as Hades which sucks big time, because I doubt we're going to feel like going out in the heat. On Sunday they have the Flotilla in the morning. I've never got to see it and I'd really like to...just not sure about venturing out in the oppressive heat.
 
I've had a headache for days and days. I'm not sure if it's from not sleeping well, or if I'm not sleeping well, because I have the headache. Poor sleep could also be attributed to being too hot. We've turned on the AC for the season, but Bond sets the thermostat to 77F, and that's not all that cool, especially when sleeping on a foam mattress.

I think in part it's also because I have a coworker who is having a health issue and I've been worried about her. Last Wednesday I noticed that she was really yellow/jaundiced. She has had a flurry of doctors appointments since. This morning they had her come back in for more blood work. She sees a hematologist tomorrow. She's had a CAT scan on Friday which has ruled out cancer/tumors/blocked duct, I believe. This morning she spoke to her PA (her doctor has been on vacation) and she told her that it's looking like viral hepatitis. She was terribly sick a month ago and has dropped 15 pounds since her last weighing at her physical last October. She doesn't own a scale, so she isn't sure when the weight dropped off, but I believe it has been in the last month and she's thinking so, too. She's 68 and I'm scared for her. Hearing that they think it's likely to be viral hepatitis is a relief. It sounded like her body may recover all on its own given enough time. The other hepatitis type sounds like she'd need to take medication long term. Both cases would be good scenarios, compared to the others. She'll learn more tomorrow.

It was so hot this past weekend that we didn't venture out to the festival. Between the headache and the heat I didn't have the energy to push myself out into the heat. I know I'm going to be sad about this later.

Much time was spent yesterday contemplating what to do about the electric lawn mower. Bond pulled it apart again and it wasn't possible to fix it. He then spent a lot of time comparing different models online and comparing them and trying to figure out if the stores even had them in stock. We went to Menard's to see them in person and he was able to pull up his receipt from nearly two years ago when he purchased the one that just died. He's going to call this morning to see if the warranty is still in effect. In the end, we bought oil for the gas and used the gas powered mower that he hasn't used in two years.

We trimmed low hanging branches off of a tree that is in the terrace, so hopefully people won't have to duck their heads when walking on the sidewalk anymore.

I cleaned our bedroom and en suite Saturday and tackled the boys' bathroom on Sunday. I threw away about 8 toothbrushes, no kidding! I asked each boy to show me which toothbrush was his and all the others were trashed. I cleaned out the drawers in their vanity and OMG, someone, probably Beanie, was clipping their nails and letting them fall in the drawer! Ugh. Such a typical Beanie thing to do, though.

I tried to not get pissed while cleaning the kids' bathroom, but still the anger percolated up. Kids are messy little beasts. That's just a given. Golden's rent was supposed to be paid mostly through household work contributions like mowing lawn, cleaning, and cooking, and until he went on food stamps, groceries. Ever since last November when he informed us that he had a huge project for one of his classes so he wouldn't be able to do anything other than that, he hadn't done much of anything. He mowed the front lawn once this spring, and his son mowed part of the back yard once. He would make his kids do chores, and I believe they would "clean" the bathroom occasionally in kid fashion. It was disgusting. I hate using that bathroom. The toilet seat is one of those cushioned ones with the tiny seam that catches lots of ick. Yesterday when we were at Menard's we picked up a new one - the soft close kind, because I couldn't take it anymore. Gross, gross, gross!

Bond and S2 set up our old bed in the guest room (Golden's recently vacated room). Bea and Bond will be using it Saturday night, so it needs to be ready.

We're trying to figure out what we are making for food for the party. I think we'll grill meats (hamburgers, hotdogs, brats, polish sausage, etc.) and I'll make keto-friendly broccoli salad, stuffed jalapenos, and a dessert so that Bond and I have food we can eat and stay on plan. We may also put out a cheese board. People will be contributing, so I don't want to go too overboard. I also don't want to work my ass off. I want to be able to relax with the guests. Hmm, I need to get mixes for drinks, too.
 
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Today all the boys go to their mother's, and tomorrow night is our party. B sent a message this morning that The Therapist, her other partner, may not come to the party. She says he's depressed and feeling antisocial. She's totally annoyed with him. <shrug/> Whatevs. We're going to have so much fun regardless. :)

Quite a few people have indicated they're coming, and there is a bunch of maybes. Typical of summertime, we have a number of can't go responses. I feel that you can only rely on people's responses so-so much. I've had enough parties to know that you'll always have people drop out even if they said they were coming, and you'll have a bunch of the maybes finally commit to coming. It doesn't really matter. I usually take the grand count between the two and drop it some and there we have it. Plus, we let people know that they can bring a date, so that is a wildcard.

I'm really glad that the boys are going to be gone probably before I get home today. Usually she picks them up the day-of and that makes it harder, because we're meeting their needs for part of the day when we have a shit ton to accomplish.

Yesterday I suggested to Bond that he and his wife revisit their visitation schedule, at least for the summer months. It would be nice to be kid-free every other weekend. To help show Bond how it would work to use a 2-2-5-5 visitation schedule today I created a Google calendar. Lordy it would be fantastic. Every Monday-Tuesday they'd be with their mother. Every Wed-Thursday they'd be with us. The 5 day stretches would alternate; five days straight with their mother, five days straight with us. I wonder if his wife will be receptive to this. As it is, she has every weekend kid-free. She says we can ask for a weekend without whenever, but it's hard to actually have that happen, and when it does Bond misses his kids, because he doesn't see the younger two during the week. Fingers crossed.

Last night Bond and S2 met up with B and her daugher at the beach. I had already offered the use of our jetted tub to a friend (Ruby) for a long soak, so I stayed home. Ruby had just returned from camp and was sore all over. She dropped her son off at the beach with Bond and B and their kids, and then came for her soak. I spent my evening make fat bombs, and two side dishes because we had vegetables that needed to be used before they went bad. I made creamed spinach, and creamy garlic parmesan mushrooms. (Bond has almost wiped out the mushrooms by this morning. LOL)

Bond brought B's son home with him and S2, B took her daughter home, because she wanted a shower, and then B came over to our house to hang out for a while.

It felt good to get some food made for upcoming meals, especially so that we'd be covered for lunches during the workweek - even though today is the end of the workweek. Unfortunately it took a toll on my back and I could hardly wait to lie down. I need to get an adjustment or a massage. I'm guessing I need an adjustment more than the massage. It just feels out of place and ouchy in the middle of my back and it gets worse as the day grows long.

B took some pictures of my baby snails. If anyone wants some mystery snails, send me a PM.

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They really are fun to watch and I get a lot of enjoyment out them.
 
What a fabulous weekend! We had our Summer Libations party Saturday night. For the first time Bea was able to make it one of our parties at The Beach. The last time she made it to a party was my 50th birthday party when I was in my little bungalow, The 909. I love that despite how infrequently she and Bond see one another she can be all lovey dovey with him when it does happen, and he glows. For his part, he was an excellent host all while basking in Bea's company and making sure he was sweet with me and B, whenever our paths crossed. It was a lovely evening.

Sunday morning B and I were in the kitchen cleaning up and chatting and she said something that I keep coming back to. She said that she loves the women we had at our party, because they are all kickass women. She loves that we had lesbians, transgender, kinksters, and polyamorous triads at our party.

When I thought about it, there were women that have high-level management roles in their professions, women who have raised children and women that have chosen to not have children, women that have managed long-term relationships successfully, and women that have raised themselves up from the ashes. We have one friend whose spouse transitioned genders recently and she is fully supportive and committed just the same to her spouse; nineteen years of marriage and ever changing. There was a woman business owner, and another who is a published, successful author. Damn, so many kickass women!

Later when I was talking to Bond about this, he said that it's not often we apply labels to our friends, but that it's good to acknowledge this aspect of what makes them who they are from time to time, and I agree. I never think of so-and-so as my "lesbian friend" or so-and-so as my "transgendered friend". We think of them as individuals first. But sometimes it's wonderful to acknowledge their diversity and specialness. So, here's to all the women in our lives; both those we know in person, and those we may only know through social media, such as this, we salute you and admire you!

Sunday after Bea left for a graduation party at noon, Bond told me that the night before, she had inquired about having a foursome with him, B, and me. Whoa! Shut the front door!!! In his drunken state he misunderstood at first. When she revisited it, he said that it was a possibility, but he'd have to talk to both of us. And then he didn't. :) But, now that he has, I do believe that is in our future. I had no clue that she likes girls. I guess in her past she's had girlfriends. Didn't know that. B is going to squee over this.

B sent us this picture whilst we were in a mad rush getting ready for the party. DAMN. My GF is hot!
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Friday night Bond spoke to his wife about changing the kids' schedule to the 2-2-5-5 and I believe she's onboard. Z chimed in when they were talking about it that he'd like the longer times at each house, better than just one night at a time. I was so happy to hear that he said that. I'm sure it will heavily influence their decision in favor of making the change. She called him yesterday morning to talk about it. She likes the idea of having a longer stretch without them, and she also likes having Z there, because he helps buffer between S2 and S3. There is some talk of extending this past the summer. This would be fantastic!
 
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You know what's weird? Having no kids around! It's delicious and feels absolutely hedonistic. I feel like I'm on vacation even though I'm sitting at work.

I'll actually be off of work tomorrow and half of Thursday. My mother is having a heart procedure done and although it doesn't sound like a dangerous procedure, I still want to be there. Her heart is super touchy and we've almost lost her a number of times. Plus, I haven't seen them in months and it'll be nice to have most of Wednesday to visit. I want to see my daughter when I'm up there, because she is floundering. I think she's on drugs and she's got everyone really worried. Bond and I are going to drive two cars so that we can finally get the car to her that Twitch and I bought her. We're going to spend Wednesday night at Wil's, which is in the same city where my mother is having her heart procedure. She's scheduled for 7 AM, so it'll be nice to be close by and not have 45 minutes of drive time.

Last night my grandson sent me a text asking when he could visit, so he's coming this weekend. Woot! I was thinking of him as I was driving home from work and I meant to send him a text when I got home, but I got busy cooking dinner and forgot to do it. I think we were both on the same plane of thinking. Bond's youngest, S3, may have his b-day party this weekend, so he'll get to go do that, too. He'll love that.
 
My mother's heart procedure went smoothly. They did not find any blockages and therefore did not need to put in any stents. Arriving the day ahead of the procedure was really super. We sat outside and visited for 4 hours, then took a tour of the tornado damage, and went to Wil's in the evening. We went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant, which proved harder to eat keto than I anticipated, but we still managed so all was good.

My daughter thinks she may have Lymes again. She wasn't feeling so hot and went to lie down after a couple of hours. Her puppy is so calm and I think he's going to be quite small. He is all about her, too. If she gets up he quits what he is doing and follows.

My mother started asking me about my daughter's son, my grandson, and it upset Megan. Without saying a word she got up and walked down to my nephew's trailer. She was crying. My nephew said he was going to go to town and would take her with him and try to get her to rejoin us afterwards, which she did. I explained to my mother how much it hurts her to have him come up in conversation. I think I need to talk to his stepmother and father to see what they are willing to allow for contact, because this is really, really tough.

Wil's place is...um...Wil. He give zero fucks about his lawn, so things are mowed around and overgrown. It's a 50's ranch. The kitchen has not been updated and I've never seen appliances like his. Crazy pants. It was fun, though.

My daughter refinished a barn door for someone and stained it in blues. It's so gorgeous. I think she may have a talent there. I'm going to encourage her to pursue it.
 
I had my grandson this past weekend and it was SO nice. He and Bond's boys really clicked well. I think that now that Golden's kids aren't living with us they were more into having company, plus he's pretty familiar to them now so that added to the comfortableness and camaraderie.

S3 turns 11 on Wednesday, so we had pre-birthday celebrations going all weekend. We went to a state park on Saturday with a picnic. The two younger boys swam. It was a shallow beach that went quite far out before the buoys and rope marked the end of the beach area. It was easy to see from the two points that ran out on each side of the little bay and from the park side, so we could explore a bit and still keep them in sight. Afterwards the boys and Bond went to an arcade for a couple of hours. I was going to go and hang out, because Bond wanted me to be with him, but I'd have had to have stayed in this little area if I didn't pay the entry fee so I went home and picked them up when they were done.

We went out to eat afterwards and it was my grandson's first time to eat at a buffet. He thought it was the most fantastic thing on the planet. LOL. S3 talked us into taking them out for breakfast the next morning and my grandson said that restaurant rated a 10. Both S3 and my grandson love eating out. We stopped by the Learning Shop after breakfast and then Toys R Us. I bought him a few things like magnets, a slice of beautiful rock, and another fidget spinner. Nothing big, but a handful of little things. He's so careful about asking, and actually doesn't ask. He's super polite and appreciative of what he gets. I wish Bond's boys had a bit of that. It was a fantastic visit and he's coming again mid-July.

I made a proposal to my daughter this morning to have her make us the extra long table for the patio. I sent her plans I found on Pinterest and she's evaluating them right now. We haven't talked price yet. It would be a way for her to learn how to build more things and also how to do things on commission. I hope she goes for it.
 
LOL, OMG, my daughter is so excited about building us a table! She was raring to go from the get-go and it was absolutely killing her for us to finalize decisions on which table design we wanted, what type of wood, etc. Pretty fantastic in my book. She is on fire to do this and I can't tell you how rare this has been in her life. Bond told me that my idea to have her do this is one of my best ideas ever. :) I feel it, too! I'm excited that she's excited.

She sent me a link to a Kreg jig for the pocket screws (and she picked the lowest cost one), so I ordered that and the screw kit that goes with it. They will arrive on Thursday. She was making a list of things she needs, like the different weight sand papers, and so on, and was going to put in her order last night so she could pick it all up today. Evidently she has friends at Menards that will assist with this to minimize her in-store stress.

She really wanted to make a glow table, but I suggested she start with something much simpler and after researching things she came back with the same idea that she should first make a regular table.

Bond and his ex settled on a 2-2-5-5 visitation schedule. She wanted her kid weekends to match her boyfriend's kid schedule, so we shifted things a bit to make that happen. I'm so excited. From the way they are talking it's going to go beyond summer vacation, because they have been discussing how to work it when school starts. :D It's kind of funny in a way that this is happening now, because the kids and I are really getting along swimmingly. Still, I'm exhausted by all the work that falls to me because of the kids, so having every other weekend kid-free is going to be fantastic. I'm so happy that Bond listened to me and made this happen. He's the best!
 
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So, my daughter was all excited to make the table, then she broke up with her boyfriend and went into a funk. I couldn't get her motivated at all. Then suddenly yesterday she was sending me questions about what we wanted for wood and length. She says they are back together somewhat. I'm not sure what that means, but she didn't sound like she was perfectly okay.

Saturday Bond's ex came over to visit because Wil was at our house for the weekend. It was a good visit and Bond thought it was the best one yet, and that she looked relaxed. She asked me what I tell my stylist to get the haircut I want. I told her that I show her pictures from Pinterest and usually several pictures rather than just one, and I tell her what I like about each cut and we go from there. I showed her the picture that my current style is based upon and she asked me to send it to her. She was going directly to Great Clips or one of those walk-in type salons when she left our house. She wanted to go from shoulder length hair to a pixie and the last time she tried the stylist wasn't willing to do a dramatic change. I think that's crap, but I have heard that some are like that. Anyway, she posted pics of her new style on Facebook and tagged me in her post. It turned out super cute and is not an exact replica of my style, so that's cool. She also gave me a hug when she left. That's a first.

I woke up Sunday morning to messages from my middle son that his truck had broken down. That is the absolute last thing he needed. It's been crazy trying to get his life back on track ever since. Through messages I learned that he has been living without a refrigerator. The one he had was a rental, so he sent it back when his employment got wonky. I was tempted to get in my car and drive to KY to help straighten things out as best I could. I didn't end up going, because other than physically giving him a hug, the rest I could orchestrate from afar. Although, that has proven to be challenging, too. What I did manage to do was send him money, order groceries from Amazon Pantry, and a small refrigerator from Amazon. Things will start arriving tomorrow. Hopefully he'll get a car rented today.

Bond, me, his younger two boys, Wil, B and The Therapist went to a BBQ Sunday evening. It was my third year attending and it was fun. The boys never complained and didn't fight which was super nice. I met some new people that are likeminded. I wouldn't be surprised if one of the ladies becomes a friend. She IM'd me for a while that night once we went home.

Monday I worked half a day. That night B and her kids came over and ate with us and afterwards Bond took all the kids with him to pick up dry ice while B and I cleaned up the kitchen. OMG, dry ice is so much fun. The kids messed with it for hours. B's son spent the night, which made S2 super happy.

Tuesday we all met up at the pool and the kids swam for a couple of hours. By the end of the day we weren't feeling like going out to watch the fireworks, so we stayed in and watched Moana. B came over to pick up her son, because he came back with us after swimming. While she was there Bond brought up that she had sent us a message last week that simply said that The Therapist had finally had STI testing done. He wanted to know if the results were all good. She said they were. Didn't give anymore information, so I asked if that meant they were fluid bonded. She said yes. Bond asked if The Therapist was seeing anyone else and B said that she didn't think so. That she thought he'd say if he was. At bedtime Bond said that he was unhappy that I acted like her answer was okay. On reflection I think I didn't really have my head in the conversation. He's right that it's not something we should just accept and not have full answers. She should know exactly what The Therapist's relationship structure is and if he has other partners and if so, what his safer sex practices are with them. There are times she totally falls down on communication and it's really hard to be in a relationship like this with her when she fails to talk about things. Being fluid bonded with someone who is fluid bonded with another or others creates a possible chain of shared viruses. I barely slept last night, because Bond went to sleep shortly after laying this out and I felt badly that I hadn't pressed her further. But then again, he didn't either and he said he wasn't blaming me. I think he was surprised that I had let it go so easily and he didn't feel like he had backup, so he didn't press further. Fuck.

He told me he'd open the discussion today, but so far it hasn't happened. Tonight she is with The Therapist and Thursday she's heading up to her old hometown, because her grandmother died and the funeral is on Friday.

We have today and tomorrow kid-free and then the boys are back for the weekend. After this we'll be on a 2-2-5-5 schedule and will have every other weekend free. I hope we like the new schedule.

Oh! My old roommate and friend, Michelle, called to share the news that she's getting married. Woot! I just love her boyfriend/fiance. He's such a great guy and they make a wonderful couple. It'll be her second marriage and his first.
 
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