As to HSV, I had quite the panic when I asked Ray, while he was still overseas, what had happened to his lip and he said it was just a cold sore. I said "Um, when were you planning on telling me you have herpes?!"
Growing up, no one in my family got cold sores and I can only recall one, maybe two people I knew who did. As an adult, if I even take notice of someone having a scab on their face, I would not generally think "herpes!" Ray, however, does not know of anyone who does not have it.
Tam and I went and got tested for HSV (and the rest of the STIs) with somewhat the hope that one of us already had it in asymptomatic form so it would not be a problem. Of course we tested clear. Through all this I was madly researching HSV trying to figure out what to do. A lot of the stuff one finds on first searching is worrisome, especially to a parent. I kept reading that one can get it from random surfaces, or breathing air the infected person has coughed or sneezed into.
Ray went in to the doctor to see if they would prescribe the medicine that reduces the frequency and duration of outbreaks. They were nonplussed. He had to explain to the age 30 something medical personnel that before AIDS, herpes was the scary, incurable, STI. They basically said "Most everyone has it. It is not dangerous under the circumstances. Don't be worrying about it."
I eventually found the saner discussions of the transmission and symptoms of herpes (turns out a lot of the scary information can be traced back to a NY Times article, I don't know where they got their information). Tam and I decided that we did not want to lose Ray over it, our kids might get it from their first romantic relationship anyway, so we would just be minimally careful and leave it at that.
leetah
Growing up, no one in my family got cold sores and I can only recall one, maybe two people I knew who did. As an adult, if I even take notice of someone having a scab on their face, I would not generally think "herpes!" Ray, however, does not know of anyone who does not have it.
Tam and I went and got tested for HSV (and the rest of the STIs) with somewhat the hope that one of us already had it in asymptomatic form so it would not be a problem. Of course we tested clear. Through all this I was madly researching HSV trying to figure out what to do. A lot of the stuff one finds on first searching is worrisome, especially to a parent. I kept reading that one can get it from random surfaces, or breathing air the infected person has coughed or sneezed into.
Ray went in to the doctor to see if they would prescribe the medicine that reduces the frequency and duration of outbreaks. They were nonplussed. He had to explain to the age 30 something medical personnel that before AIDS, herpes was the scary, incurable, STI. They basically said "Most everyone has it. It is not dangerous under the circumstances. Don't be worrying about it."
I eventually found the saner discussions of the transmission and symptoms of herpes (turns out a lot of the scary information can be traced back to a NY Times article, I don't know where they got their information). Tam and I decided that we did not want to lose Ray over it, our kids might get it from their first romantic relationship anyway, so we would just be minimally careful and leave it at that.
leetah