Shaya
New member
I previously asked for links to examples of an originally monogamous couple (with no experience in non monogamy) who attempted to transition to polyamory. Kevin helpfully replied and so far, his story is the only one I know of where the original couple and the person they opened up to are still romantically together after a decade.
I wanted to loosen the criteria and compile a list of blogs or intro stories where the originally monogamous couple are still together romantically or living together platonically, even if the person they opened up to is no longer involved romantically with them. My aim is so that I can link newbies to this information so they can see real examples of how difficult such a transition can be. Far too may people come here with high ideals and the "shit yeah, let's do this polyamory thing" attitude without respect for how difficult it can be to overturn a lifetime of mono thinking. Real examples, real struggles. Show it to them then let them decide if polyamory is something they a) want and b) should be taking more seriously.
There's no hard and fast criteria for links here. Here are some preferred criteria to have:
In the end, the aim is to show a previously monogamous couple real examples of real struggles that they may face in the near future if they choose to open to polyamory. The method to starting a relationship in monogamy is the Nike approach - "just do it." Transitioning to poly from monogamy should have a more cautious approach, but lacking alternate role models, far too many couples default to the "just do it" approach.
I wanted to loosen the criteria and compile a list of blogs or intro stories where the originally monogamous couple are still together romantically or living together platonically, even if the person they opened up to is no longer involved romantically with them. My aim is so that I can link newbies to this information so they can see real examples of how difficult such a transition can be. Far too may people come here with high ideals and the "shit yeah, let's do this polyamory thing" attitude without respect for how difficult it can be to overturn a lifetime of mono thinking. Real examples, real struggles. Show it to them then let them decide if polyamory is something they a) want and b) should be taking more seriously.
There's no hard and fast criteria for links here. Here are some preferred criteria to have:
- The couple, ideally, was previously a) monogamous and b) have some length of history together monogamously, measurable in years.
- The link should (hopefully) show their struggle and contain at least one gem of insight that a previously monogamous couple may not have thought of.
- Less importantly, it would be nice to give them something positive to look forward to. A previously monogamous couple who are still together (however you wish to define that) after, say, 5 years (maybe). On the other hand, one that separated after a shorter time but explores the issues well or writes well, may be more useful to read.
In the end, the aim is to show a previously monogamous couple real examples of real struggles that they may face in the near future if they choose to open to polyamory. The method to starting a relationship in monogamy is the Nike approach - "just do it." Transitioning to poly from monogamy should have a more cautious approach, but lacking alternate role models, far too many couples default to the "just do it" approach.
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