Jpk83
New member
Heres an interesting one. So it seems Ive talked to some friends who are Poly about my situation and it helped a little.
So how this all started, Im mono, my wife and Ive been married for 8years. Im 34, shes 30. We are both monogamous our whole lives. During the 8years like everything else, theres been ups and downs but the recent year or two things have been great, almost as amazing when we first met if not even more.
A 3rd person appeared in our lives 8months ago, a female lets call her N. So N appeared in our lives cause she was taking some private lessons with me and a few weeks later she met my wife. They hit it off right off the bat, talked for like an hour or two.
So long story short, my wife had to leave town for work a couple months after they met. And N broke her leg. So me being a friend, I was checking up on her daily. And our conversations when from once a week to more and more to a point where we were talking online almost every hour of during the day from dusk till dawn. We started hanging out more and more to a point we were seeing each other 5-6 times a week.
My wife also started noticing the closeness but she also loves N as a friend and talk to her pretty often, daily. I told my wife I wanted to confront N and feel theres this strange and intense thing that is going on and I want to know what it is. My wife didnt really agree to it, but I did it anyways. I brought up it to N that I feel this thing which I dont know what it is, I feel our communication has been really intense in terms of just the amount we talk to each other. She agreed that she notices it too but was just cruising with it.
Not long after N confronted me and said she has feelings for me, and I too do think about her almost every minute of the day. But as for my wife scared and heartbroken. All 3 of us spent a few times together talking before I had to leave the country for a trip.
M, J & N. The relationship between me and my wife J is still strong. I love her with all my heart. My relationship with N is intense and I think about her all the time and want to include her in my life as much as possible. The relationship between J & N is crumbling. They are not lesbian and are not dating each other. J is afraid that N is the new girl and will come and take me away, while N feels too much pressure to be normal and friends like how they were before all the emotions were spilled out on the table.
So now we are kinda just stuck in this place, where we are not really poly but it seems like its where its headed but also at the same time I dont think it will work out as a closed triad. Just thinking about Poly just scares me, the thought of it being so loose and open, that that point I feel we might as well just go out and randomly date than be in a committed relationship?
I dont know. But would love to hear some feedback from people here.
So how this all started, Im mono, my wife and Ive been married for 8years. Im 34, shes 30. We are both monogamous our whole lives. During the 8years like everything else, theres been ups and downs but the recent year or two things have been great, almost as amazing when we first met if not even more.
A 3rd person appeared in our lives 8months ago, a female lets call her N. So N appeared in our lives cause she was taking some private lessons with me and a few weeks later she met my wife. They hit it off right off the bat, talked for like an hour or two.
So long story short, my wife had to leave town for work a couple months after they met. And N broke her leg. So me being a friend, I was checking up on her daily. And our conversations when from once a week to more and more to a point where we were talking online almost every hour of during the day from dusk till dawn. We started hanging out more and more to a point we were seeing each other 5-6 times a week.
My wife also started noticing the closeness but she also loves N as a friend and talk to her pretty often, daily. I told my wife I wanted to confront N and feel theres this strange and intense thing that is going on and I want to know what it is. My wife didnt really agree to it, but I did it anyways. I brought up it to N that I feel this thing which I dont know what it is, I feel our communication has been really intense in terms of just the amount we talk to each other. She agreed that she notices it too but was just cruising with it.
Not long after N confronted me and said she has feelings for me, and I too do think about her almost every minute of the day. But as for my wife scared and heartbroken. All 3 of us spent a few times together talking before I had to leave the country for a trip.
M, J & N. The relationship between me and my wife J is still strong. I love her with all my heart. My relationship with N is intense and I think about her all the time and want to include her in my life as much as possible. The relationship between J & N is crumbling. They are not lesbian and are not dating each other. J is afraid that N is the new girl and will come and take me away, while N feels too much pressure to be normal and friends like how they were before all the emotions were spilled out on the table.
So now we are kinda just stuck in this place, where we are not really poly but it seems like its where its headed but also at the same time I dont think it will work out as a closed triad. Just thinking about Poly just scares me, the thought of it being so loose and open, that that point I feel we might as well just go out and randomly date than be in a committed relationship?
I dont know. But would love to hear some feedback from people here.