Hi, i am feeling as doing something completely wrog. I am happy im polyamory in triad with my two boyfrieds - they love each other and the both love me. We live for four years in the same household. It is kind of dream.
But I always spent lot of time just being crazy in love with someone. I keep falling for other people, other men. It is kind of ok - my partnerss have also their secundary partners. But my relationship never really worked out. I have just some good friends and broken heart. Like I always have to love someone, who is distant and unavailaible. Maybe it is just me - being already with two partners. Right now i just dont know, if i just choose too monogamous people or if i am just mistaken my myself and dont need more relationships. I am still in contact with two my ex-secondary-in hope I still love them and kind of want to have polyamory realitionship with them. But i am also deeply hurt by their party-rejection. Right now i just dont know, if close myself and try to not feel anything outside my primar realationship triad or try hard or dont try at all. I know this is a little chaotic and little hard to answer, but even suggestion helps.
dont know, how name this...maybe polyexhaustion
But I always spent lot of time just being crazy in love with someone. I keep falling for other people, other men. It is kind of ok - my partnerss have also their secundary partners. But my relationship never really worked out. I have just some good friends and broken heart. Like I always have to love someone, who is distant and unavailaible. Maybe it is just me - being already with two partners. Right now i just dont know, if i just choose too monogamous people or if i am just mistaken my myself and dont need more relationships. I am still in contact with two my ex-secondary-in hope I still love them and kind of want to have polyamory realitionship with them. But i am also deeply hurt by their party-rejection. Right now i just dont know, if close myself and try to not feel anything outside my primar realationship triad or try hard or dont try at all. I know this is a little chaotic and little hard to answer, but even suggestion helps.
dont know, how name this...maybe polyexhaustion