Is thin the only sexy?

SG comes across to me as more mature than the "average" 18 year-old. Because he said one comment that was kind of ignorant, does not mean that he deserves to have this "age-ist" back-lash. Having said that (and this is me speaking as ME, not as a moderator), I find some of SG's phrasing a bit predictable and quaint, as Fidelia said, "things I used to say or think when I was your age". When I was 18, 20, 22, etc. I used to HATE when people said this kind of stuff to me!

HOWEVER - regarding the statement about fat or skinny not caring about themselves enough to care about a relationship with SG:

I read that and thought "Well that's HIS loss. It's not MY problem." There are some people who might feel compelled to "educate" SG in order to fight against oppression and marginalization, and that's all good, but it's not my thing. I tend to be lazy.
 
Oh - as far as the original question - I think that a fat person with confidence is very attractive. I appreciate it when fat people can say they are "fat" and it's not meant or perceived as an insult. Autumnal Tone has talked about this before.
 
Just to be clear, my response to Somegeezer was not meant as an attack. It was just a rebuttal and expression of my frustration with something he wrote, which I've often heard by others before. I have no problem with someone saying they're only attracted to thin or fit people (I mean, everyone has preferences), it was the "not caring enough" that set me off. I was reacting to that way of thinking, but I was not offended and I don't have a problem with you, Somegeezer. Not at all. I enjoy reading your posts on this forum and often find your clarity and insight refreshing, though you are less than half my age. Just because I take issue with something you said, and felt the need to express that, doesn't mean I was attacking you and I certainly hope I didn't come off like I was attacking you, even though my words may have been somewhat strong. I did "hear ya" when you included underweight people in your first post, but I can only speak from the opposite side, since I don't think I've ever been underweight, LOL. Anyway, I apologize if my reaction started a shitstorm, I didn't mean it to.

As for the topic, I think it's pretty clear that everyone has their own ideas of what sexy is, and it isn't always thin. Recently, I've got to having lost almost 30 lbs, and a friend of mine set me up with a friend of his, saying, "You're losing weight, and looking real good. I think so-and-so will dig you." Okay, so at first I was feeling great because, hey, I have a crush on my friend and he noticed that I've been working hard on this and he said I look good -- yay, me! -- but then the guy he sets me up with is overweight. Not that I minded, I found him attractive and we really got along and had a good time, but it just makes me wonder about people's standards. Here is this guy, 6'5" and 280, and our mutual friend only wants to set me up with him when I get to a weight that he thinks is more appealing -- yet I'm sure his friend and I would've enjoyed each other's company 30 lbs ago. Now, maybe it has to do with the fact that I have been dressing sexier since having lost the weight, but people are funny, aren't they?
 
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it is also okay to say that you're not attracted to certain body-types or that fatness turns you off.

it is inaccurate to say that "fat people are [this way] when it comes to their relationships". the only thing all fat people have in common is that they are fat. any assumptions made beyond that say something about the person making the assumptions, not about the fat people.
 
nycindie - just want to re-iterate that i agree with you about the "not caring enough" statement, that just because someone is over or under weight does not mean they don't care enough about themselves to be able to care for another person in a relationship. that's just bogus. not all people who have weight issues have self-esteem issues, and not all people with self-esteem issues are ill-equipped to be in a healthy relationship. it's all about working with what you have, not blaming others for your own shortcomings, taking responsibility for your own words and actions, and so forth.
 
Well everything said on the internet should always be assumed as opinion.

>snip<

I'm hoping that paragraph is less offensive and easier to understand what I'm trying to get out.

Unfortunately, you have achieved the opposite effect. The more you say, the less sense you make, and the more you sound like an [ad-hominem].

But that's JMO of course.
 
Unfortunately, you have achieved the opposite effect. The more you say, the less sense you make, and the more you sound like an [ad-hominem].

But that's JMO of course.
Problem half solved. Go delete the ones I couldn't and I'll leave this thread in peace.
 
As some folks here know, I shoot nude art photography. I've worked with women with nearly every sort of body shape. I can say that I've captured images that show every single one of them can look sexy hot.

That's the appearance side of things. In terms of the non-physical, I've found that how sexy and appealing these women are has absolutely no correlation to how they look. Some who look hot from most any angle simply aren't very enticing otherwise. Others can turn my insides all woogly (that's a technical term) while swathed in burlap.

The original blog post linked to dealt with appearance, however. As mentioned above, I've captured beauty from all sorts of bodies from size 0 up, with and without stretch marks, with and without scars, etc., etc., etc. I've found that how sexy each looks is only a matter of the process of viewing, residing primarily in the decision to look for that beauty.

I find women physically sexy who aren't of the shape I personally prefer. It'd take finding them sexy in non-physical fashions for me to want to date them, of course, though I fully understand that my personal preferences don't determine the whole of what is or isn't attractive.
 
I have never had a preferred body type. It's all in the eyes for me at first, and then the pleasure of discovering the rest, how deep the beauty goes. If you were to line up all the people I've dated you would see every body type, both genders, many skin tones, hair colors, styles of bearing and dress.

Every one beautiful in their own way. Every one flawed in their own way, it's part of the beauty.

The soul is the sexiest thing about a person to me, and though I have been deceived by a beautiful pair of eyes that went hollow with time, I can say with certainty that skinny/thin has never had anything to do with my perception of a person's sexual energy.

Sexiness beneath the surface-eyes, hands, laughter, kindness, self-love, searching, growth, that's what does it for me.

-R
 
For every body type, there is someone who will find it desirable. I learned that lesson young when an ex went on to only date plumper women. I thought I was all hot, but clearly he thought I could stand to gain some weight. :p
 
Is thin the only sexy? Hell no!

Is thin the only sexy?
Hell no!
Personality, confidence, the ability to be sexually open, and the eyes... it's always about the eyes...
 
For every body type, there is someone who will find it desirable.
Something I like to say is this: There is a lid for every pot...Some pots have two or three lids, and some lids, will fit more than one pot. ;)
 
I'm loving all the responses here... ! I had no idea that the link I posted would be of such interest. I'm glad.

For the record there is nothing like a knowledgeable, confident, round and fun lovin' person. grrr....

Someone who knows themselves and is willing to give and be given too all in the realm of exploration and open communication is what excites me.

The size of their structure is somewhat of an issue as I like to be able to pin them down and I am 145 lbs 5'2" that is not easily accomplished sometimes unless the person is willing to submit. :D:p so ya, attitude is everything.
 
Im not even going to go into what I weigh, but lets just say I exceed the weight limit for trampolines, most camping chairs, and the operating tables at the local hospital.

I have ALWAYS been huge, and up until a few years ago, I was always FIT with it. I could go all day - work in the paddocks, do fencing, stack hay, ride horses all day and not be 'dead' half way through. Fit, thinner and thin people could not keep up with me.

When I got sick - well, with THIS lot of stuff, I could no longer do the things I used to, and I have suffered big time because of it.

I barely eat, however due to my health I am restricted in my movement and am not very mobile at all these days. I am generally not allowed to play with sharp objects or go play with the horses outside on my own as I tend to pass out, which as you could imagine, is not real good!

My health condition has nothing to do with my 'size' - its something that does not discriminate at all, and my doctors have actually told me to eat more salt, something someone of my size generally does NOT get told to do.

My blood pressure is too low most of the time, and while yes my skeletal pain is not helped by my weight - it wasnt caused by my weight - when I was able to move around and do stuff, it didnt cause an issue at all.

I am trying desperately to lose weight, and apart from having gastric banding done, I have tried pretty much everything. I am in a catch 22 situation - I need to excersise to lose some weight, but I cant excersise because of my health.

A lot of days I just want to give up.

My husband says he finds me attractive still - I personally dont feel it, but his perception of me is obviously much different to my own perception of myself.

I get so sick of people who label 'skinny' people as people who starve themselves and are that way because they did it to themselves, or people my size, the same way - but overeaters. And do you KNOW how horrid it is to have people stare at you if you go out for dinner and happen to have something a bit naughty?? They all assume you eat that stuff ALL the time. :(

Skinny people and fat people do not CHOOSE to be that way for the most part. There are many health issues that mean that their bodies dont cooperate with them the way they wish.

I have never looked at anyone in terms of attractiveness based on the size of their body. I am a sucker for eyes, a smile and a sense of humor. Those three things are what get me in a person.
 
i'm just curious and don't mean this disrespectfully at all, but you mentioned being too heavy for the operating table, yet riding horses. Isn't there a weight limit to what horses can carry? From your description, it sounds like you weigh at least 300 pounds, and that seems like a lot for a horse to carry on its back.
 
Horses work on a form-to-function rule. People have tried to come up with weight % of what a horse can carry, but really it`s relative to the conformation of the animal, and the breed. There are small and mighty breeds that can carry a lot, while some large breeds might have to stick to the weight ratio rule.

If the horse`s conformation allows for a short back, good hocks, and strong feet(bones in the hooves, specifically), and good 'bone' then there is a good chance plenty of horses can carry a 300 lb person.

Usually the trial is more with getting on and off the animal, then in potentially hurting the horse.
 
No worries NeonKaos, fair question :)

What SourGirl said is dead true. Depends on the horses conformation, breed, and type.

We have rather heavily built horses and they are the ones I hop on from time to time. I also drive one of them in the cart and harness - no 'weight' on the horse with a cart - they are just moving it along on its wheels.

I am certainly not silly about what horses I ride and wont get on a horse not built right for me. And yes, getting on an off is what can be the main issue - using a mounting block ensures that there is not excess weight on the horses back or the saddle twisting it as a heavy person tries to get on.

I am also a 'light rider' as I have been told by many riding instructors I have had over the years - meaning that I sit balanced and its not an 'effort' for the horse in the way that I ride.

I know people who are stick figures who ride like a sack of potatoes and that makes it sooooo hard for the horse.... having someone bouncing up and down on them all the time and their weight not in the correct position is no fun.

If ANY horse I got on happened to groan or feel not right under me, I would be off like a shot.
 
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