Coping with the lows caused by N.R.E.

I've found that emotionally, I can only handle one partner in a addition to Hubby. For me, relationships are a lot of stress because I'm constantly worried about saying or doing the wrong thing and pissing off my partner, or that my partner will get sick of me having anxiety and depression and will bail if I don't keep it hidden. Both of which, unfortunately, are fears based in past reality. (Woody has been trying to get me to understand that neither of those things will happen with him, but I'm still not at the complete belief stage with that...)

Since those fears are even present with Hubby, though not nearly as much, having to deal with them with more than two partners would, I think, have me hiding under the bed...I had trouble even dealing with one long distance and one in person relationship in addition to Hubby.

That said, sometimes, especially now that Woody is helping me become more comfortable and confident sexually, I think it might be nice to have a FWB or a fuck buddy for times when I want sex but Woody isnt available and Hubby isn't interested, or when I just want uncomplicated sex. (For me, at least, sex with a relationship partner is complicated by definition.) Woody and I have talked about arranging an MFM for me; since Hubby has refused to participate and I don't like the idea of bringing in someone neither Woody nor I knows, and he knows way more people than I do, I've left it to him to find someone he trusts to participate, and I've asked that, if possible, it be someone who might be interested in an ongoing FWB thing with me.

Of course, Woody being Woody, the MFM will probably never happen...bug I haven't given up hope yet.
 
Thinking about monogamy and being open to negotiation with a partner is the opposite of "blowing up your life," so put those worries aside. To my way of thinking, poly is just one more optional way of loving that you can embrace, not an achievement or a "lifestyle" that you're either in or out of.

You bring up a good point here. I was monogamous for over a decade, up until 31/2 years ago, and I acknowledge that at some point, for the right person/relationship could do it again. I'm not hardwired to have lots of partners, though I love the idea of 2 or 3. But as far as Hal and I ...I'm just a year and a half out of a 17 year relationship/marriage, and I'm still enjoying the feeling of being able to date around freely without anyone resisting. Also, Hal is a man who needs a lot more "space" in a relationship than I, so I'm not convinced that I could rely solely on him for sex and affection in the long-term.

On the other hand, this does make me think...if he really were to press the issue, would I agree to monogamy with him, at least short term? I might, down the road, if he were to start stepping up and giving me more of his time and energy.
 
The times when I've felt more monogamous than other times was more like just being "polysaturated at one" than truly monogamous...it's not that I wasn't open to other people coming along, I just was too busy and too satisfied in my existing situation to really want to look for more. I think that NRE tends to bring on that polysaturated feeling, too.
 
The times when I've felt more monogamous than other times was more like just being "polysaturated at one" than truly monogamous...it's not that I wasn't open to other people coming along, I just was too busy and too satisfied in my existing situation to really want to look for more. I think that NRE tends to bring on that polysaturated feeling, too.

Yes, that's it exactly!
 
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