Hi
I'm new to polyamory and have been involved with it only for the last 2 months or so. I've massive trust issues but my partner is very communicative and trustworthy which is helping me accept and embrace this relationship.
My partner and I have been together for 8 months but he has met someone new in the last 2 months (max). Initially it was communicated and stipulated that my partner and I were primary lovers, but now he is saying that this is shifting and that he sees me and the new woman almost as equal (although they live miles apart and have met for a few days at a time, at most 5 times).
Upon spending almost 2 weeks away from me and having about 8 days together with the other woman, my partner came back really missing her and was visibly upset around me and wasn't present with me at all. I felt his heart and head were elsewhere.
I put my ego aside and comforted and supported him through this and asked him to communicate. It hurt me to know my partners time with me was spent by me comforting him through the "loss" of someone elses presence. At the time I did the best I could, but afterwards I am questioning whether this is normal?
Do poly couples tend, support and nurture their partner when they're missing the other or is this simply crossing a boundary and that my partner should deal/cope/strategise with this himself before spending time with me?
I feel like I've been a bit of a pushover, but I just wanted my partner to feel supported as he's supported me through so much recently.
Any advice on what to do with forlorn partners who miss their other is welcome!
E <3
I'm new to polyamory and have been involved with it only for the last 2 months or so. I've massive trust issues but my partner is very communicative and trustworthy which is helping me accept and embrace this relationship.
My partner and I have been together for 8 months but he has met someone new in the last 2 months (max). Initially it was communicated and stipulated that my partner and I were primary lovers, but now he is saying that this is shifting and that he sees me and the new woman almost as equal (although they live miles apart and have met for a few days at a time, at most 5 times).
Upon spending almost 2 weeks away from me and having about 8 days together with the other woman, my partner came back really missing her and was visibly upset around me and wasn't present with me at all. I felt his heart and head were elsewhere.
I put my ego aside and comforted and supported him through this and asked him to communicate. It hurt me to know my partners time with me was spent by me comforting him through the "loss" of someone elses presence. At the time I did the best I could, but afterwards I am questioning whether this is normal?
Do poly couples tend, support and nurture their partner when they're missing the other or is this simply crossing a boundary and that my partner should deal/cope/strategise with this himself before spending time with me?
I feel like I've been a bit of a pushover, but I just wanted my partner to feel supported as he's supported me through so much recently.
Any advice on what to do with forlorn partners who miss their other is welcome!
E <3