So apparently Channel 4 commissioned a massive survey of the country to find out what we're all like in bed. Then reported on the top 10 kinks we have in an effort to try to break down barriers and make everything more normalised and ok.
Then they brought in "experts" to talk about what gets people off regarding these various fetishes, why it gets them off, what the origins are... etc.
On the whole I approve. I mean I disapprove of the way they grouped massive umbrella terms like bondage into 1 fetish (when you have ropes, handcuffs, leather cuffs, belts, predicaments...) but mostly I approve.
However, number 3 on the list was threesomes. The self proclaimed "expert" on threesome etiquette gave her dos and don'ts;
1. If you're a couple don't pick up a random stranger - the third partner could be a nutcase and then you've got an American Psycho scene on your hands. Generally I agree but why should this logic be directed only at couples? Singles who meet strangers in bars and take them home for sex should be equally wary.
2. Set the ground rules - agree if there's anything you're not comfortable with. Again I agree in principle... but the way she describes it it's as though you are going to this third person for them to dispense fetishes at you; whatever happened to their enjoyment? Come to think of it if that's all you expect off this person pay for an escort.
3. Don't leave anyone out - Agree.
4. Don't hang around - You must NEVER EVER (her stress not mine) mistake threesomes for romance. Don't lie around in some sort of group hug. Nothing good can ever come of it.
So basically she's shaming polyamory there the self appointed expert, who has been brought in to normalise stuff is saying that nothing good can come of developing multiple romances.
I'm not suggesting that triads are the only way to do polyamory, nor am I suggesting that all threesomes should result in triads, I'm not even suggesting all threesomes where the sex is amazing and there's clearly a connection *should* develop into full group relationships... nor am I suggesting that all triads which form under the best of starting points will be successful.
I am saying that I've met many people in poly relationships, some of which are triads, which have lasted decades and in which all members of the relationship(s) are very happy. To be completely dismissive of that, as a self appointed expert is just outrageous.
The full program is here, skip to about 40 minutes for the threesome section.
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-great-british-sex-survey/on-demand/62256-001
Then they brought in "experts" to talk about what gets people off regarding these various fetishes, why it gets them off, what the origins are... etc.
On the whole I approve. I mean I disapprove of the way they grouped massive umbrella terms like bondage into 1 fetish (when you have ropes, handcuffs, leather cuffs, belts, predicaments...) but mostly I approve.
However, number 3 on the list was threesomes. The self proclaimed "expert" on threesome etiquette gave her dos and don'ts;
1. If you're a couple don't pick up a random stranger - the third partner could be a nutcase and then you've got an American Psycho scene on your hands. Generally I agree but why should this logic be directed only at couples? Singles who meet strangers in bars and take them home for sex should be equally wary.
2. Set the ground rules - agree if there's anything you're not comfortable with. Again I agree in principle... but the way she describes it it's as though you are going to this third person for them to dispense fetishes at you; whatever happened to their enjoyment? Come to think of it if that's all you expect off this person pay for an escort.
3. Don't leave anyone out - Agree.
4. Don't hang around - You must NEVER EVER (her stress not mine) mistake threesomes for romance. Don't lie around in some sort of group hug. Nothing good can ever come of it.
So basically she's shaming polyamory there the self appointed expert, who has been brought in to normalise stuff is saying that nothing good can come of developing multiple romances.
I'm not suggesting that triads are the only way to do polyamory, nor am I suggesting that all threesomes should result in triads, I'm not even suggesting all threesomes where the sex is amazing and there's clearly a connection *should* develop into full group relationships... nor am I suggesting that all triads which form under the best of starting points will be successful.
I am saying that I've met many people in poly relationships, some of which are triads, which have lasted decades and in which all members of the relationship(s) are very happy. To be completely dismissive of that, as a self appointed expert is just outrageous.
The full program is here, skip to about 40 minutes for the threesome section.
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-great-british-sex-survey/on-demand/62256-001